Finding your future wife

Church that is a good place to meet quality girls

 

It's true. You're not going to meet someone by staying in your room lol.

 

It can be, IF the church has a decent sized group of young single women.

 

Yes! And for you single men on this site, you may be facing powerful, sexual urges as you lay off the porn and the fantasies and the masturbation. I'm a bit older and have been married for a while, and remember the years of sexual frustration. Now I firmly believe my 20's could have been very different if I used my sexual desire in a different way.

How different? I would have used the sexual energy I formerly put into finding pornography (back then it wasn't nearly as easy as it is today, you had to visit a magazine rack or liquor store that sold porn magazines and buy them all the while feeling red-faced and ashamed, at least I felt that way), and put the energy (and time spent masturbating to this material) to work in meeting girls and learning how to approach them and how to talk with them, in particular how to screen them for quality.

Yes the concept I'm borrowing from (name redacted as I don't think that highly of his porn coaching services) but it is an Approach and Screen idea. Just like looking for a job, you want to work for the right employer, you apply for the ones you think would be a good fit, with a 'cover letter' approach, and during the interview process you screen these employers for whether you want to work there or not. (Thinking about it, this metaphor isn't that strong as usually we'll take 'any job that will accept me' but bear with me.)

You've already seen a girl you are attracted to physically. You need to know what the approach will be - something in common, an opening line, something you just made up - and you need to know what you are screening for in the brief conversation. There should be something (or several somethings) you are looking for on the inside. For me, it was a sense of humor I was looking for, it was a real sensitivity and care, it was a first-rate mind, and I found her 20 years ago. For you it will be different of course, but you are looking for a few things in the girl you really want.

Just my $0.02 for what to think about and develop as you go PMO-free, as you develop new habits of using all the new-found time to do enjoyable things with others: a hiking club, a food-bank, an environmental volunteer organization, a book club, ToastMasters (highly recommended IMHO), aforementioned church group (they have singles events if you look around), a running club.

 

Thanks for the info.

I'm 22 andon this nofap journey I've connected with my church community. Joined two hiking and via verrata groups. Volounteered in environmental causes (to my surprise voliunteers are mostly female, idk why men lack interest in volounteering).

Can you share sny other tips on where to meet people and what to do, I'd love to hear more from you.

 

Hey there, you know this old fart can actually learn a thing or two after many decades. You asked about tips to meet people and what to do; instead I'm going to let you in on what to say once you are in an environment where you can meet other single women. (BTW church and volunteering are awesome places, would say get out with your interests, whether a book club or an animal rescue or youth sports as additional ideas.)

As an aside, tons of learning materials are available for free, including how to talk to women. For becoming PMO-free, I'm listening like crazy to Porn Free Radio and am getting an enormous amount of value from that; I am reading the AA Big Book and what an eye-opener that one is; and on this site last week someone commented on a thread how much they were getting out of relationship coach Wayne Corey's "How to be a 3% man" and I thought I might as well take a look.

I'm about 1/3 the way through (p 91 of 271 pages) and a few observations about the book: it isn't very well-written, Corey could really use an editor as it is self-published and is highly repetitive; he refers to YouTube resources, so if YT is a trigger or problem for you in edging behavior (i.e. pushing yourself back to porn via risque YouTube searches) beware, however I've found his videos (there are plenty of sections that say Google "Corey Wayne Women Are Like Cats, Men... Dogs") to be informative as well; all that said he offers quite a lot of insight into how to talk with women.

Okay, enough of all that preamble. You can access the book for free online by simply filling out a form on his website (it's on the right-hand side of this page). There are methods to download the PDF (they may be floating around online, or figure out a Scribd hack somewhere - I did and can't remember exactly how I did it) so you can just read a local copy.

Wish you the best.

 

Hummm going to any place, like church just for the porpuse of getting a girlfriend is not a good mindset on my opinion, there are stronger porpuses

 

Why dyou wanna find a wife? You are the man, the Woman is supposed to find you. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

 

You're right before technology women were dependent on men for financial support now women are independent so WOMAN IS SUPPOSE TO FIND YOU does not apply anymore.

 

look, the issue is, and I hope you both get it, regardless of what time and age we live in, you are still men, and as men we are supposed to have a masculine frame. is it masculine to want to have wife and kids? this is feminine energy. the exception might be men who have it all figured out, men who are older, established, with good bank and resources. if you do not fall under this category, you act like a woman, in a very feminine spirit, just like most of men in western society, and this is actually counterproductive to your goal, because this energy repels women. take this as you like it, but its the truth.

 

I guess I get your point. I think the one in need shall try and find a partner. If you think that you're male so female shall throw themselves at you than I'm sorry I don't think it's real. I believe in balance of both our masculine and feminine spirit. More masculine makes you arrogant and egoist while more feminine makes you submissive and thinking of settling down. The balance gives you a clear idea of what you need or want and helps you figure out ways to achieve it. And age or time does matter in old days women needed protection and security that's why they needed men on the other hand men needed someone to look after their property, parents and/or kids to pass on their legacy and hundreds of other reason just different than today so they married. When a person meditate on why he/she shall marry and finds a reason then naturally he/she will head out to in search of someone who fullfill it albeit of their gender. A patient goes to doctor he doesn't wait at home for doctor to visit him. I hope you get the point.

 

did i say that? i said when certain conditions are not met, it is feminine alright. obviously i do not know you nor your circumstances, so i wasnt talking about your specific case.

thats what i mean.

 

Wishing you all the best in finding happiness and meaningful relationships!

 

My plan is to live near a large university where there’s college girls everywhere to increase my chances of meeting her.