Finding your purpose and working towards it

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by keepitreal-88, Jul 6, 2019.

  1. keepitreal-88

    keepitreal-88 Fapstronaut

    I feel lost about which direction to go in my life, I feel stuck and don't know where to go, maybe there's too many options and I'm scared of committing one way or the other. Maybe its obvious where to go but I'm scared of failure. This post is more to get it out of my head and clear in writing, and probably also to satisfy my ego for creating a decent post ;) but any input or insights on new ways of thinking or approaching it would be very welcome. :)

    What makes me feel good about my self:
    • It feels good when I help other people and know they've benefitted, especially from advice or new ways of looking at things.
    • It feels good when I have created something, looking at a project I've done (small or big) and knowing I've completed it to a high level or done it right.
    • It feels great when I make other people feel good about themselves.
    • It feels great when I'm getting along with someone, when we're sharing an emotion like laughing.
    • I feel good when I know I'm desired.
    • It feels good when I'm liked or appreciated.
    • It feels good when I solve a problem.
    • It feels good when I win, individually or as part of a team. Being the best or having contributed towards the best.

    What scares me:
    • Trying and failing
    • Being seen having made a mistake
    • Being rejected, excluded or not wanted, eg when making new friends or approaching women and letting them know I'm interested
    • Not knowing what to do in a given situation
    • Looking stupid
    • Being laughed at and looked down at
    • Making an effort and nobody caring

    What am I good at:
    • Perfecting things
    • Analysing things, problem solving
    • Considering different perspectives
    • Giving advice, wanted or unwanted
    • Seeing what other people could do differently to improve their results
    • Distracting myself from what needs to be done (fear? laziness?)
    • Keeping a straight face
    • Staying calm
    • Finding information, accumulating knowledge
    • Computers
    • Physical activity
    • Avoiding mistakes, situations I don't understand (too cautious, avoiding risk, fear)

    What seems to match up:

    Teaching, coaching, writing, problem solving, proof reading, research. What else.

    But where do I go from here, what do I focus on, what niche, how do I start, is there a future in it, could I make a living from it, what if it doesn't work out. How do I focus on this when I have to spend 40 hours a week earning a living doing something else. Wheres the joy in it, how do I make the most of it.

    Aiming for the moon and landing in the mud is better than aiming for the mud and hitting it. Who cares what other people think of me, the most famous people in the world have legions of people who despise and laugh at them, but its the people that admire them that makes it worth it. If I keep doing what I've always done then I'm heading for insignificance anyway, so be willing to make some mistakes and look a fool and then laugh about it afterwards, who knows where it might lead.
    Xispara and Deleted Account like this.
  2. I wish so much I had an answer or advice on this since I struggle with it as well. I feel lost or out of place; as if this world has no place for me since I’m unable to focus or specialize in just one thing or keep interest in just one field of work or career. Even the prospect of committing to just one field makes me almost instantly have an aversion toward it, which then sucks out all of the joy I could see myself having from that career. The other part of me fears specializing in one thing since I’ve seen people like that lose their own job and have no other skills to fall back on.

    Ugh, this has been a huge issue in my life and on my mind.
  3. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    What do you do if you want the water to go downhill?

    Leave it alone.

    Life will sort itself out, as long as you don't resist reality. Do what your gut says is a good option and sooner rather than later the opportunities will show up, because you have clarity of mind, you didn't clog your mind with fears and anxieties about your life.

    The bank account doesn't mean that much (said the guy that just quit other people's dream job in terms of company and pay), your mental health is more important.

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