Day 0 Well i just relapsed now, and i normally always post daily about how my day went. I never got more than a 14 days streak, even if im trying for +3 years to quit porn. Now i want to get over 30 days, and really make a change and stop these intrusiv thoughts which have being hauntig me for years.
Day 1 Not many urges. Im trying to Not think about it that much in general. Keeping it short today, since there wasnt much.
Day 2 Well Not many urges today either. My family got covid, so maybe i got it aswell, since i didnt feel that good. Got a few urges when i was irratited, but was able to put those urges to sleep. Thought about how much suffering all this has brought me.
Day 3 A few urges today, but it was nothing much. I need to avoid having nothing to do, since school will only start next month. I Never really found my passion, so it’s hard to fill the day. But i manage.
Day 4 No urges today again, the day went by super quick. The gym is really helping me boosting my mood in general. I just need to look out for stress/boredom and not to cope with corn.
I also want to try for more than 14 days. For me, FAP's scenes are in bed, usually only two time points. When insomnia is difficult to fall asleep at night, or wakes up early in the morning。
I also struggled a lot in these times, since i need hours to fall asleep. Im trying to stay away from my bed as long i can. And when i go to bed i try to watch youtube or something just anything instead of corn. It’s like not healthy but as long as it helps me abstain it’s alright.
Day 5 Had like a weird wet dream today, and a hard urge at the Morning but could manage it. I feel like corn fucked my life so much up, and it disgusts me. Sometimes i want to relapse thinking „im already to deep and it’s no use“ but the last few days im feeling hopeful to really change.
Day 6-8 Back home now. The trip wasnt that intreresting, but better than just staying at home. Didn’t have many urges but many intrusiv/sexual thoughts and dreams. Can’t get to comfortable now just because i got back home.
Day 9 Nothing much happend today, was at the gym which was good. But nothing Else really, Need to find something to work for.
Day 10 Had an wet dream today, which was a Bit annoying. Had no problems the rest of the day, i feel like im having a good run so far, i still need to look out for my old relapse patterns before it’s too late.
Day 11 No problems today either, the days are going by smoothly. Still i can’t be to relaxed about it, it’s good that im not thinking much about nofap etc. but i still need to being on guard for triggers.
Day 12 Had a few urges today but didnt give in. Im feeling rather good these days, but i can’t let myself get too comfrotable, since it would 100% end in a relapse.
Day 13 Not the best day, nothing really worked out so i had the urges to cope with my anger. But i didnt relapse, i would have been even more angry if i had relaped.
Day 16 Was really tempted to relapse today, but i got through it. Can’t Play around with these thoughts.
Day 18 Again way to Close to an relapse. Idk if i hit a flatline or something. Not feeling well the past days.
Day 19 A Bit better than yesterday, still really tempted to relapse but i didnt. I still was on a corn Site for 4/5 minutes and was just mindlessly scrolling. If this Happens again i will Count it as an relapse.
Day 20 Had not many urges today. I need to get better sleep, yesterday was really hard with the near relapse. Just in genrell lacking sleep.
