First day

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Sodonewiththis, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. Sodonewiththis

    Sodonewiththis Fapstronaut

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    Hi, my name is Rick.

    I've been addicted to porn since about the age of 12 almost 13. I'm currently 32.

    I'm also currently engaged and lying to my fiance about the frequency of my habit. I don't want to tell her how much it happens, because she feels like it is akin to cheating, and I don't want that to be a cause for divide in our relationship.

    That being that being said I want to stop looking at porn all together, and I think stopping masturbating will help that as well. It seems like masturbating just reinforces the want to look at porn.

    I don't really have any friends that I feel comfortable talking to about this, but I want to take it seriously this time.

    I am not planning on giving up orgasm, I just want to fully devote it to my partner.
     
  2. Jefe Rojo

    Jefe Rojo Fapstronaut

    Amen Brother! Masturbation always leads to PMO for me. My advice to you is that with NoFap, you get out of it what you put into it. For the past 84 days I have visited this site multiple times a day, written in my journal, made other life goals, followed people, read about other people’s successes and failures, I reached out in times of distress when I wasn’t strong enough to do this by myself (multiple times) and I also helped support others in distress. I’ve tried to encourage others in their journey. It’s been a really big source of strength for me. It’s also helped me heal my self esteem some. Bottom line is that there is no shortcut to healing, it takes consistent hard work. But do not despair because as you work hard it gets easier because you get stronger and can carry the load you bear without feeling it as much.

    Welcome here! If you’re interested I have collected a list of helpful links at the beginning of my journal. There is a link to my journal next to my day counter. I wish you the best of luck, you’ll overcome this if you are dedicated enough to changing. You must do whatever is necessary. Take care and make today a PMO free day! :)
     
  3. Sodonewiththis

    Sodonewiththis Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the support, I have not been doing well lately. I have been trying different things, but I continue failing.

    Sometimes I can last a little over a week. My record is 7 months but that was over 10 years ago. Most of the time I make it for five days do well don't do it for for 5 days then relapse hard and watch every day. I just want to have the support to make this a lifetime commitment.

    I'm very well aware that I most likely will not be able to do this on my own. When I made it seven months I was involved in a church and I had an accountability partner, and accountability programs on my computer.

    I just need to surround myself with people who will support me and help me when I feel tempted, and this looks like the perfect place to do it.
     
    Jefe Rojo likes this.
  4. Jefe Rojo

    Jefe Rojo Fapstronaut

    Yes, this is a great place to get the support you need. It’s also a great place to support those around you who are struggling in the same way you are.

    I guess the question is what are you going to do differently this time when day 5 rolls around? When those urges hit you like a ton of bricks what will your reaction be? Planning in times of strength for times of weakness is very important. The next time you are seemingly blindsided by PMO (and it will happen again even though you don’t want it to, maybe even several times before you are freed from this addiction), are you going to give up hope or are you going to get back up, dust yourself off, learn what you can, and keep going? That is the hard part of recovery. You have to see how and why you have fallen and then set up fortifications so that it doesn’t happen again (or again in the same way as before). You have to learn from your mistakes. Sometimes those lessons aren’t very obvious. There may be multiple reasons why you turn to PMO. Your recovery is an iterative process.
     
  5. Sodonewiththis

    Sodonewiththis Fapstronaut

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    I need to change up my routines on day 5. The days are easy when I work all day and come home to my fiance. I need to go straight downstairs when I wake up and OCCUPY myself so I don't laze in bed, bored. I know that's my danger zone.

    I've recently been trying to start from the basics and work on my thoughts and not allowing myself to go down pathways that arouse me. I think I have equipped myself with the tools to succeed but its a matter of beating the urge and building up my resistance and ability to say no when my urges are so strong.

    I can't blame it on my fiance but sometimes she leaves me riled up in the morning and thats tough to beat sometimes too.
     

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