First do it for you... and then for your actual or later partner

How all of us here, I have problems with porn and masturbation. I'm 28 years old and I started in this at the age of (more or less) 11 years old. I started like everyone, getting fun with videos and every time more harder porn. In all this time I had a lot of really harmful thougths, like suicide, violent and just sad ones. This problem really give a hit to my self steem, since I remember I have problems with that. That was the reason that my first kiss was when I'm 21 years old (this is real hehe). All this trip is always like a roller coster, sometimes we are on top, and sometimes whe are down, but we are here, keeping fighting.

In the last years (since I was 21) I started to hang out with girls and (in theory) the problem was solved, because I started to have sex instead of porn, but thats not true. In my first sexual relation I had erectal disfunction problems, but in that moment I even don't know that term. For that I have other casual encounters with other ones, and are a few ones of them tha I really enjoy it. In all this time I continue using porn.

But the last year (in all this pandemic situation) I met somebody that I really like. She is a good girl, so I have to be a good men to be with her (that was my initial thoughts). I have my own personal motivations to leave porn, like to be focused, be more productive in work and enjoy life, but knowing this girl, is something that give me more power to continue beeing strong. Now I do it for me and for my partner in the future(still dating the same girl, but I know that that could change)

I know, If you see my couter, is in 2 days, I relapsed, but I return to this forum that is something that is helpful and is the first time that I make a post, so If you are in the same problem like me, I can say that is posible to go out of this, We are strong!