First Fap After 90 Days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by 1978, May 19, 2019.

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  1. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

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    Last night I couldn't sleep, so I decided to fap without porn. I have changed my counter so it now only shows the number of days since looking at porn, since that's really the more important thing.

    Similar to my experience of fapping after 30 days, my penis was sensitive and the long, slow build-up was pleasurable. I was able to eventually get a reasonably good erection for most of the session, and I was able to prolong the pleasure for a while. Then when I finally ejaculated it went really far and I had a bit of a mess to clean up afterwards!

    All in all, an enjoyable experience. I'm glad I did it, but I'm glad I did it without porn, just with fantasy. I didn't feel bad afterwards. I didn't feel anything particularly. I enjoyed it and then it was done, and everything was fine, no problem.

    I do think porn is the main problem for most people. Well, I think it was for me anyway. When fapping without porn, it feels more relaxed, less of an addictive rush, far less of a problem. Whereas fapping to porn is more like an addictive drug experience, fapping without porn is more like taking a really satisfying shit or eating a really satisfying healthy meal. Well, that's how it feels to me anyway.

    But it's definitely also good to not masturbate for a while. I'm glad I stopped fapping for 90 days.
     
  2. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

    Don't make this a habit.
     
  3. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

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    Well, I definitely wasn't going to make it a daily habit, probably not even a weekly one. Maybe once a month at most, I don't know. I haven't really decided yet. I was going to wait and see how I feel over the next few days/weeks.
     
    Kratos_GOW likes this.
  4. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    @1978 you have a girlfriend? You are married?
     
  5. Dagger323

    Dagger323 Fapstronaut

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    This is not something you ought to do at all. The chaser effect can and will catch up with you and you will inevitably slip up and masturbate to porn again at some point…and when that happens you’re back to square one. Throughout my time spent on this forum I have never encountered anyone that found long-term success without eliminating both porn and masturbation from their lives permanently. It always ends up the same way. The brain tricks you into rationalizing “occasional” masturbation which then escalates to a couple porn clips a month and then escalates even further to daily porn use once again. Don’t let yourself fall into this pattern. Be firm and stick to your guns. Resist the games your mind is playing with you. Find a real woman to have sex with, not your hand.
     
  6. dreamer81

    dreamer81 Fapstronaut

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    Did you feel bad afterward, like we do most of time when we fap to porn?

    I am also planning a 100 day on hardmode, but then I will be open to dating again after the 100 days target.
    I hope I would be able to 'test' if I am cured of my PIED with a real female
     
  7. but when I masturbated after 2 month I feel like shlt and depressed, even some minor suicidal thoughts so I am starting it fresh today
     
  8. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

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    I'm single at the moment.

    Thank you for your advice. I appreciate you taking the time to respond, and I do understand what you are saying. I'm still glad I did it, though. It was nice to be able to do it without feeling the need for porn. That in itself is something I am pleased about. I might see if I can go another 90 days, see how I feel then. But yes, definitely the goal is to find a real woman to have sex with. That's really high up my list of priorities actually.

    No, I felt fine afterwards. But I've never really felt bad after masturbating anyway, even when using porn. I don't really get that. I suspect that when people feel bad afterwards there is something more going on. It's possible that if someone already has emotional or mental health issues, it could be triggered by masturbation. Or maybe some people are low on certain nutrients? I know we lose zinc in our semen. It just seems to me that if you're healthy you shouldn't feel like shit after ejaculating.
     

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