Idk if this is how journals work here but I didn't see a specific section for them and I feel the need to write out some feelings so here it goes... I was really upset with my husband yestersay. It didn't help that the baby was crabby and being mean and it was 111 outside and we were stuck in the house. But he didn't do anything to to use the anger. I got myself is a cycle of just making myself upset. I thought about why we are in this situation, how horrible he has been for the majority of the last year and a half and how I have tried my hardest to be the best partner through all his selfishness. We have been on the brink of divorce from his poor attitude 4 times now and we've only been married 3 years. This whole thing has caused way more hurt for me then I wanted to admit before. The P use never bothered me but the way he acted because of it has been the root of our marital problems. He isolated, was angry, extremely selfish, and sexually aggressive and entitled. I stayed through all of this because I remembered the man I fell in love with who was so gentle and kind and loving. Even though I am seeing much more of that side to him now I am just feeling bitter about it all. He had a great day and by the time he came home I was so pent up with anger and so done with our kid acting up that I almost ruined his good mood. I had to get a handle on myself and focus on the good. I hate that these feelings came out of no where and I don't know what to do with them. I feel like talking to H about them would just be beating a dead horse and making him feel more guilt for past actions. I hope I can work through this.