Dear members, I would like to share my story with all of you, and I hope that someone will find it helpful and encouraging to start your NoFap journey - it's definitely worth it! About me: I'm a 29 years old healthy individual. Always positive and with a smile on my face. I have a foot fetish, which I believe started when I was 5 or 6 in kindergarten. The fetish is not porn induced - as far as my memory reaches, I believe my first masturbation to porn was at the age of 7-9 to a VHS (remember those?) movie in which there was a foot fetish scene. It wasn't a porn movie - heck, it was a family comedy, but it was filled with lots of feet scenes, so technically, I had fed my brain the first dose of porn at a very young age. I used to be addicted for 20-22 years - first the movie scenes, then online stuff when I got access to internet at the age of 13 or 14. What is also interesting about my case is that throughout my whole addiction, I have never masturbated or been aroused to plain old sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. Every single masturbation was to foot fetish related porn. Trust me when I say it that my addiction was taking a really bad direction - in my entire life, I have spent thousands of dollars on foot fetish related videos from online merchants. I even ordered 5 or 6 custom made clips with my own scripts from different fetish producers. My best guess about the total amount of money I spent on the foot fetish porn clips during all those years would be between $10,000.00 and $20,000.00. Shocking, isn't it? So what happened to me that led to the big decision to quit porn for good, and how did I manage to get to 30 days (today's actually the 32nd day)? Short background before NoFap: In 2014/15 I thought that my case is so sophisticated, and I have trained my brain for such a long time to foot fetish porn, that the only thing that will get me aroused would be women's feet period, and I have had numerous beautiful women in my life, yet in every single intercourse, my D was dead. I couldn't get it up, and when I did (thinking of feet), it lasted for 5-10 seconds and went flat again. In other words, I have suffered from Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED). Forget about morning woods, sexual thoughts and all that - they didn't exist/happen during my addiction. I started doing online research about erectile dysfunction, and this is how I discovered NoFap and Your Brain on Porn in 2014/15. Read the book and gained basic knowledge about porn addiction. I even gave it a try for 7-10 days, and I saw some changes - in 2015, for the first time in my life, I was talking to a woman at a bar, and my did woke up. It wasn't a full erection, but I felt something happening. Also, I got a random boner just by lying next to my now-ex girlfriend (we weren't naked or anything, just lying on a bed and talking), so I thought that maybe my case isn't that hopeless as I used to think. I have failed my recovery though - the urge and need to masturbate to porn was too strong for me to stop, and I got hooked up again. My other addictions: Weed - it's interesting, but the only reason I started smoking weed (2014) is because of porn. When I was high and watched porn, I saw it from a "different" perspective, and I liked that so much that I got hooked up on weed. One joint every night, fap, and go to sleep. Sugar & junk food - oh yes. There was hardly any motivation in my life. Even cooking my own meals or doing groceries felt like a choir to me. I was eating tons of crap, including chocolate, chips, candy, fast food, you name it. Not to mention the munchies after smoking weed that made me eat even more. Caffeine - not coffee, not tea, but coca cola. I was drinking 2-4L coca cola every day for years. In other words, my diet was a big mess. Working 45-55 hours/week, constantly being on the sugar & caffeine high (coca cola), 1-2 meals throughout the day (junk food), followed by a joint of weed at night, fapping to porn, eating more crap (munchies), and sleep. I know, I know - after spending your time reading all this, you want to know how did I change my life? I'm a start writing now. Bare with me... I have tried quitting sugar, soda, junk food and porn before, but each time, I have failed. THIS IS WHAT TRULY CHANGED MY LIFE: I went to a spiritual healer (not a psychologist), who happens to be one of my closest family members. She works with energies, and there is nothing more powerful than that. After a few sessions, I started opening up emotionally, and could see some positive changes. One particular session in February this year changed everything - we have discovered that the reason for my previous addictions was anger. During our work, at one point the whole anger overwhelmed my whole body and mind, and I wanted to punch the wall with my bare hand so hard that I would have pierced it through had I done it (I haven't by the way). I allowed that anger go through me. What happened in the following weeks? Every aspect of my life has improved - I became extremely calm, patient, more emotional. Yes, I was still eating junk food, drinking coca cola, smoking weed and watching porn, but it felt different. It felt more like a habit than the need to do those activities. At the end of July this year, I have moved to a different country. I have done a sugar detox, caffeine detox, junk food detox, weed detox. I stopped drinking alcohol completely - never had issue with booze, but I felt like eliminating that could be beneficial. Now, I drink 2-3 bottles of alcohol-free beer per week. I have fixed my diet - eating very healthy now. What's surprising is that, having tried and failed numerous times before, now all those detoxes were very easy. On September 1st 2019 I thought that I was doing very well, so I decided that it's time to quit porn for good. Today is October 1st, and I have been porn free for 32 days, for the first time in my life! No girlfriend, no random sex, plain old Hard-Mode. I have deleted all porn from my laptop, including the custom made clips that I've mentioned before. No regrets. Here's a weekly update of how I felt during my porn-free journey: Week 1. I have felt a huge increase in my energy levels. I felt like I could move mountains with my bare hands. My skin became clearer, my hair became thicker and full of life (it was already good before NoFap, but now it's amazing!), my eyes look sharper and they look as if there was a "spark" in them. My motivation skyrocketed - cleaning my apartment, cooking, shopping, my job became pleasurable activities. I started feeling "connected" to the world and felt "living the moment" if you know what I mean. Yes, I had urges to watch porn again, but they were minor and easy to control. My morning woods returned - around day 4 or 5 I woke up with an erection. It wasn't a full, rock-hard one, but they returned, so I knew that I was doing the right thing! The morning woods appeared every single day, including today (week 5). Week 2. This week was interesting - my brain started playing tricks on me. My dreams became vivid, and I could remember them very clearly. Some of them were so sexual and related to my fetish. It felt like my brain was saying: "Ok, you stopped watching your fetish videos, so I will make you watch them in your dreams". Obviously, I didn't give in and kept going with my streak. I've bought a piano during this week, and decided to learn to play it. Found a wonderful teacher, and I take lessons weekly. I felt very happy and joyful during most of week 2, and then bam! On day 9 lethargy gotten me. I've never felt that tired before in my life - it wasn't the body fatigue, but the mind, and where the mind goes the body follows. I woke up full of energy and few hours later I was drained. Even the joy of buying my piano disappeared - I felt terrible. I took a 4-hour long nap. Day 10 felt great again, and guess what happened during day 11? LETHARGY again, so what did I do this time? I asked myself: "I've done all the detoxes, fixed my diet, I sleep normally now (7-9 hours/day). Why would I feel lethargic out of the blue?" Came up with a conclusion that, obviously, it must have been related to my porn addiction. And what did I do with all this lethargy? I embraced it! If that's what it takes for me and my brain to get rid of this ugly addiction, then I'm more than happy to feel tired. Plus, it was another sign that I was healing. Additionally, during week 2, I realized that fantasy thoughts became more frequent, and what did I do with them? I didn't block them, because as human beings, we need thought and emotion. I decided not to focus on them. I let them come, and go. Some lasted for 5 seconds, some for 30 seconds, but I didn't put any effort to forcefully get rid of them. Let them come, let them go. Week 3. I felt fantastic. The benefits started feeling amazing to me. This week, my connection to the world became even more solid. Urges to watch porn were slowly fading away. I realized that my voice pitch has gotten deeper and more masculine. My memory is 10x better than what it used to be. My social skills became very sharp. I could talk with anyone about anything and have a genuine response within a split second. I felt lethargic again during day 19, but I simply embraced it once more. Yes, I was still getting fantasy thoughts, but to not as strong as in week 2. Week 4. All the benefits that I've mentioned before felt even better. What interested me is that day 27 and 28 brought lethargy again, but this time it was different. Unlike in previous weeks, where I got up bed with ease and felt lethargic a few hours into the day, this time I felt like I couldn't get off the bed, and wanted to sleep more. Furthermore, the 28th day felt like something was stuck in my brain (brain fog?) This time the fatigue was strong, but once more, I embraced it - "If that's what it takes for me to heal, let it happen". I've also experienced more pressure in my testicles (blue balls symptom?), but it's not painful at all. In fact, it feels good to me. Still some fantasies - "let them come and go". That's pretty much my journey so far. I'm in week 5 now, but I decided to write my second update when it's day 60. I've also decided not to make a list of benefits I'm experiencing as they were mentioned on this forum so many times - it would just be a repetition. Unless, you'd like that, then sure. This post is very long, and I have so much more to tell you. To keep it shorter, I'm going to write a 2nd post here after this one. I would like to give you advice on what has been helping me during my recovery, and I will happily answer any questions that you might have.