First Post, I need help

Have you stopped masturbating

  • Yes

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  • no

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Liam2077

New Fapstronaut
I've been addicted to porn since I was 14.I'm 21 now. Thats seven years. Everyday for seven years. At first it was the most fun thing I could do when I got home from school. I was having a particularly hard time at school. My friends at the time were really into sports and I wasn't, I was always the smaller kid. And they knew it, I would let them push me around and I'd their punching bag. So what would I do? I would go home and jerk off to transwoman porn. It's probably some shaming ritual or something. So instead of coming home and crying, I would jerk off and feel amazing. For at least the first year or so. After the first year it became a habit and I did it unconsciously. At the beginning of my addiction it was for fun, and as time and time went on it evolved from fun to coping, and then from coping to habit, and then from habit to just something I do. I learned about nofap in August, and after learning about it, I was ecstatic. ( I'm also depressed so i thought this was the answer to my inability to connect with others ) After learning about the negative effects of masturbation and relating it to my own experience , I stopped masturbating. For nineteen days. That's my longest streak. BUT it all came crashing down at day nineteen. I thought " hey, Ive been doing well, my mood and energy is improving, I'll treat myself" and then I jerked off on day 19. From then on, the longest streak I've had was six days, and multiple streaks of one or two days. I don't want to have streaks. I want to stop this for good, and only have sex. I had a girlfriend once, I would have sex with her but I would always finish by myself. I know sexual urges are biological, but masturbating isn't biological. I've experienced the depression, the loneliness, the lack of motivation, the social awkwardness, and I want it to stop. So I'm on day 2 right now, and my goal is too make it 1 month without masturbating. Once I'm there I'll update my goals. I felt good sharing this. If you've read it this far thank you, and I hope this can help others, as well as myself who wants to quit whacking it, I would appreciate any and all knowledge and advice. Thank you.
-Liam
 
This is a great first step! I hope you find this forum a source for help and healing.

The solution is not to suppress our thoughts and desires, for this would be impossible; it would be like trying to keep a pot of water from boiling by pressing down tightly on the lid. The only sensible approach is to train ourselves to observe our thoughts without following them. This deprives them of their compulsive energy and is therefore like removing the pot of boiling water from the fire.
~ Thubten Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra
 
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