ClaudiusMoon
Fapstronaut
I'm a thirty year old male and I've have only recently been able to admit to myself that my relationship with porn is an addiction.
I have a good job and live a normal, socially active lifestyle and I'm happy with who I am. However, my compulsion to watching porn is a blight on an otherwise enjoyable life.
I started looking at porn long before I ever had interests in masturbation, which seems odd to me, looking back on it now. It started when I was about nine or ten, with smutty sexploitative late night tv shows that I would quietly watch with my brother, careful not to let our parents hear.
I also remember finding a top shelf, playboy-type magazine from the 70's or 80's in my neighbours shed one summer that opened my eyes to hardcore stuff. As I say, I never masturbated during these times, though I did get some sort of pleasure from it.
Like most people here I assume, my problem really began with the rise of the internet. Suddenly, even with our pathetically slow dial up connection, I had hundreds images of naked celebs a few clicks away and during my teen years my addiction started germinate.
However, it wasn't until I got to college that it truly became an addiction, and it was there that I developed the habits that have stuck with me ever since.
Usually I'll spend 45mins to an hour minimum watching porn but can go 2-3 hours sometimes too. I would say I watch it at least 4 nights a week. I feel I'm wasting valuable hours of life on it when I could be doing so much more productive things, or meeting people.
Porn has certainly had a negative effect on my social outlook. I was never the partying type but porn allowed me to turn away from that sort of lifestyle in college and beyond. When I should have been going out, overcoming the awkwardness of talking to girls or just meeting people, I was content to stay in and surf the net for hours instead.
I will watch it on impulse now, provoked by the slightest sexual desire, but it also provides a relaxation of sorts, as if it is just an itch that needs to be scratched, and like most I love the feeling it gives me whilst I'm doing it, and for those brief few seconds afterwards. Then comes the inevitable shame.
There are 3 reasons I have felt the need to come here to NoFap.
- The first is because of how much of my life I am wasting watching porn.
- The second is because of the effect it has had on my social life; all the times I ditched plans because I'd rather watch it or feel no desire to go out and meet women.
- The third, and probably most significant, is the effect I believe it has had on my sex life. I'm single at the moment but even when I have been in relationships, sex has always been a let down. I have no issues with arousal or maintaining an erection during sex but I feel very little sensation and struggle to ejaculate. I think the condition is called 'delayed ejaculation'. I know very little about it other than I'm a sufferer of it so if anyone else has the same issue I'd appreciating hearing your experiences. What I do know is that it's had a major effect on my relationships and my mental well being.
I'm not setting myself any goals regarding M and O. Maybe after reading others advice and experiences I may feel the need to but for the moment I'm just setting a goal of no P for November.
Wish me luck.
I have a good job and live a normal, socially active lifestyle and I'm happy with who I am. However, my compulsion to watching porn is a blight on an otherwise enjoyable life.
I started looking at porn long before I ever had interests in masturbation, which seems odd to me, looking back on it now. It started when I was about nine or ten, with smutty sexploitative late night tv shows that I would quietly watch with my brother, careful not to let our parents hear.
I also remember finding a top shelf, playboy-type magazine from the 70's or 80's in my neighbours shed one summer that opened my eyes to hardcore stuff. As I say, I never masturbated during these times, though I did get some sort of pleasure from it.
Like most people here I assume, my problem really began with the rise of the internet. Suddenly, even with our pathetically slow dial up connection, I had hundreds images of naked celebs a few clicks away and during my teen years my addiction started germinate.
However, it wasn't until I got to college that it truly became an addiction, and it was there that I developed the habits that have stuck with me ever since.
Usually I'll spend 45mins to an hour minimum watching porn but can go 2-3 hours sometimes too. I would say I watch it at least 4 nights a week. I feel I'm wasting valuable hours of life on it when I could be doing so much more productive things, or meeting people.
Porn has certainly had a negative effect on my social outlook. I was never the partying type but porn allowed me to turn away from that sort of lifestyle in college and beyond. When I should have been going out, overcoming the awkwardness of talking to girls or just meeting people, I was content to stay in and surf the net for hours instead.
I will watch it on impulse now, provoked by the slightest sexual desire, but it also provides a relaxation of sorts, as if it is just an itch that needs to be scratched, and like most I love the feeling it gives me whilst I'm doing it, and for those brief few seconds afterwards. Then comes the inevitable shame.
There are 3 reasons I have felt the need to come here to NoFap.
- The first is because of how much of my life I am wasting watching porn.
- The second is because of the effect it has had on my social life; all the times I ditched plans because I'd rather watch it or feel no desire to go out and meet women.
- The third, and probably most significant, is the effect I believe it has had on my sex life. I'm single at the moment but even when I have been in relationships, sex has always been a let down. I have no issues with arousal or maintaining an erection during sex but I feel very little sensation and struggle to ejaculate. I think the condition is called 'delayed ejaculation'. I know very little about it other than I'm a sufferer of it so if anyone else has the same issue I'd appreciating hearing your experiences. What I do know is that it's had a major effect on my relationships and my mental well being.
I'm not setting myself any goals regarding M and O. Maybe after reading others advice and experiences I may feel the need to but for the moment I'm just setting a goal of no P for November.
Wish me luck.
