Homerjfong23

Fapstronaut
Hey guys/girls,

Trigger warning: ocd, so-ocd, anxiety

first off, let me say thank you for allowing me to join your forums. My name is Jeff, and I am a 40 year old male. I suffer from ocd (specifically SO-OCD), and that can take me some pretty scary places. The other night I was sitting on my phone looking at p, and I happened to come across a famous p star doing interracial porn. Now, this has never been my cup of tea, although your opinion may vary. While I was scrolling through it, a thought popped into my head, “you like this, don’t you?” I immediately started feeling anxious and worried, because I’ve never liked that kind of stuff before. Plus, I don’t know if I could see myself marrying a woman of color…not that I’m a racist or anything. But then I start thinking, maybe I am racist because I don’t like the fact that this woman is being used by these men in that way. I don’t think any race is superior to any other, I just want to know that I am not alone in this fight. I talked to my parents about it, and they said that porn is a business, and just because it happens in a business does not mean it will happen in real life. I have even gone on websites to see if ir p gets me aroused, and it usually does not. Today, at work someone made a comment that “they went to st. Marten” for the summer…and here came my ocd brain, saying to myself, “yeah she probably hooked up with black guys down there”. This is stressing me out, and thiscombined with the new school year starting soon has got me all depressed and worked up and anxious and every other way I possibly can be. I do not believe that I am a racist. I believe that the p industry wants to make people attracted to what’s taboo or forbidden, and that’s what’s going on here. Please be kind and mindful that I amdepressed and anxious right now.
 
The most effective solution to ocd thoughts is to ignore it. And question what you are thinking in a simple way:
1- do i adopt this negative thought? No
2- so what do i adopt? We are all humans who look for a peaceful, societal, and successful living from all colors and races, males and females. And what opposes this is not the norm which i condemn and do not follow.
3- if i dont adopt such thought and i stand with the opposite side of it then i should ignore it.


And continue your day as nothing happened. Dont force it, dont suppress it, and dont overthink it. Just discard it with a logical and precise inner questioning then ignore it.

By time it will improve.

Also PMO plays a big part with OCD as a withdrawal (means during long practice as withdrawals occure after hours from last session). So avoiding pmo for couple of months will help in that.
 
The most effective solution to ocd thoughts is to ignore it. And question what you are thinking in a simple way:
1- do i adopt this negative thought? No
2- so what do i adopt? We are all humans who look for a peaceful, societal, and successful living from all colors and races, males and females. And what opposes this is not the norm which i condemn and do not follow.
3- if i dont adopt such thought and i stand with the opposite side of it then i should ignore it.


And continue your day as nothing happened. Dont force it, dont suppress it, and dont overthink it. Just discard it with a logical and precise inner questioning then ignore it.

By time it will improve.

Also PMO plays a big part with OCD as a withdrawal (means during long practice as withdrawals occure after hours from last session). So avoiding pmo for couple of months will help in that.


Thank you for your reply. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. I will take your advice into consideration. I also think part of this stems from the fact that I am depressed that I am not in a relationship, but my baggage and my quirks may keep women from wanting to be with me.
 
This is just my opinion and some people mighy disagree. I don;t think it's a racism thing. I think when white guys think about black guys they always think about 8-9 inch penises. If you're even an average 5-6 inches it can make you feel insecure and feel like you can't compete. I've been through that and the biggest problem was my self-esteem. You have to remember a few things and I have confirmed this with other women. Women like confidence, if you're down on yourself they can sense that. Bigger is not always better, I've heard girls say 8 plus inches hurts too much for them. You can please a woman just fine with an average size. Also the female orgasm is more complexthan the male one. Emotion and how they feel about someone plays a big part. No pun intended. LOL. Just my thoughts, but you can get past it.
 
This is just my opinion and some people mighy disagree. I don;t think it's a racism thing. I think when white guys think about black guys they always think about 8-9 inch penises. If you're even an average 5-6 inches it can make you feel insecure and feel like you can't compete. I've been through that and the biggest problem was my self-esteem. You have to remember a few things and I have confirmed this with other women. Women like confidence, if you're down on yourself they can sense that. Bigger is not always better, I've heard girls say 8 plus inches hurts too much for them. You can please a woman just fine with an average size. Also the female orgasm is more complexthan the male one. Emotion and how they feel about someone plays a big part. No pun intended. LOL. Just my thoughts, but you can get past it.

thanks for your advice and support. I agree with you that people generalize and stereotype black men with bigger packages…p is a tricky thing, it’s a slippery slope that will make you love and hate it at the same time. I’m making a concerted effort to take it one day at a time.
 
OCD can get you worked up over something that shouldn't be a big deal.

I don't think you're racist. I think you're addicted to porn and you're thinking the way porn wants you to think, because that way, you use more porn.

IR porn is racist. This isn't to say all mixed race porn is racist, but when it makes racial dynamics the focal point, fanning the flames of racial fears, or playing sub/dom roles in traditional or inverted scenarios, that's racist.

The fact that you got aroused to it does not mean you are racist. It means it was something new and interesting after you saw too much of the usual, so you escalated into something you'd not normally be into. However, as you observed in yourself when you heard someone talk about her summer in St. Martin, watching IR porn can make you more racist than you were before. This is in addition to the regular function of porn, which is to make you more of a creep than you were before. You don't know that she hooked up with anyone over the summer, and it's not your business either way. Porn makes you more interested in sex and everyone's sexual activity, which is creepy af. It's not normal to think about people's sex lives during normal conversation.

"Yeah it is, Meshuga. I think about other people's sex lives all the time."
Because you're an addict. Get clean from porn for a while. Get a strong period of abstinence, but do more than that. Recover from porn addiction. Actively work on changing your brain, changing the way you relate to people, and you'll find we are so much more than sexual. In point of fact, most people are barely sexual. We are highly selective about who we have sex with, and we don't even consider it with 99.99% of the people we meet. TV shows have people impulsively hooking up all the time because it's a fantasy, because it's interesting to watch, because it's fun to pretend we can run around having sex without consequences, but in real life there are consequences and consequently, we are cautious about sex.

So, stop watching IR porn and you'll find yourself going back to being less racist, and stop watching porn altogether to be less of a creep. And liberate yourself from obsession with sex. You have OCD, you have enough obsession issues as it is without masturbation exacerbation.
 
OCD can get you worked up over something that shouldn't be a big deal.

I don't think you're racist. I think you're addicted to porn and you're thinking the way porn wants you to think, because that way, you use more porn.

IR porn is racist. This isn't to say all mixed race porn is racist, but when it makes racial dynamics the focal point, fanning the flames of racial fears, or playing sub/dom roles in traditional or inverted scenarios, that's racist.

The fact that you got aroused to it does not mean you are racist. It means it was something new and interesting after you saw too much of the usual, so you escalated into something you'd not normally be into. However, as you observed in yourself when you heard someone talk about her summer in St. Martin, watching IR porn can make you more racist than you were before. This is in addition to the regular function of porn, which is to make you more of a creep than you were before. You don't know that she hooked up with anyone over the summer, and it's not your business either way. Porn makes you more interested in sex and everyone's sexual activity, which is creepy af. It's not normal to think about people's sex lives during normal conversation.

"Yeah it is, Meshuga. I think about other people's sex lives all the time."
Because you're an addict. Get clean from porn for a while. Get a strong period of abstinence, but do more than that. Recover from porn addiction. Actively work on changing your brain, changing the way you relate to people, and you'll find we are so much more than sexual. In point of fact, most people are barely sexual. We are highly selective about who we have sex with, and we don't even consider it with 99.99% of the people we meet. TV shows have people impulsively hooking up all the time because it's a fantasy, because it's interesting to watch, because it's fun to pretend we can run around having sex without consequences, but in real life there are consequences and consequently, we are cautious about sex.

So, stop watching IR porn and you'll find yourself going back to being less racist, and stop watching porn altogether to be less of a creep. And liberate yourself from obsession with sex. You have OCD, you have enough obsession issues as it is without masturbation exacerbation.

thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate the advice, and I will take some time off from the p. It means a great deal that you all are making me feel more normal and confident and that I’m not insane.
 
Now, my thoughts have evolved into, “well, do you like this p star?” “Yes, I do.” “Do you like this p star with multiple men of color?” Part of me says no, part of me says, well she is hot…but I try to change the scenario. Does this seem crazy to anyone?
 
Back
Top