Flatline, numb to the core

[Jinsei wa daiji tsukareta yo]

Good morning guys, I have now gone almost 13 days, once again without PMO, I have hit the flatline for the first time this early and this time I feel my reboot is happening correctly.

I wanted to know if there is someway to feel anything during this phase? nothing makes me happy, nothing excites me, my own degree which is done in 2 months also does not stress me anymore (this is worrying, as...well the deadline is soon, and I need to continue working as much as possible to get as good a mark as possible, so that I may become a lecturer if the opportunity presents itself)

I don't see the flatline as a bad thing per-say, in fact, it's a good thing I know, but I feel demotivated, depressed, tired and I have no drive at all. I don't really want to have sex or anything, I barely want to watch porn anymore either. It's like something flipped the switch of my emotions and drive. (I don't care about the libido being gone right now, but I want to get out of this so I have drive again.

I am excercising each morning monday - friday for half an hour as intensly as I can, and taking cold showers each morning. I also have a diary I write in each day, and I hang out with my friends us much as I can. I study Japanese in my spare time and play for honor. I also am looking into joining a Kendo club when my Honours degree is finished. I'll start playing piano and guitar again this weekend as one of my replacement activities.

I do realize this is normal, relapsing is what my brain wants beacuse it wants me to go back to what I did, but fuck that, I don't want to. I know it differs from person to person to how long this phase in each of our journey lasts, but can anyone give me any advice on how perhaps too feel something during the flatline? or how to speed up the process?

Thanks guys!

 

[FpsMato]

Sorry to tell you but in flatline there is no way to get your drive and feelings back you just have to wait it out.Only thing you can feel during flatline is negative emotions.Its your brain rewiring.Think of this this way-If you want to fix eletric grid you have to turn off power first same thing is for brain.If it wants to repair itself it has to shutdown dopamine,serotonin pathways so it can fix them.Just wait it out and be strong.

 

[warrior_47]

I've been where you are and the thing that helps is just focusing on getting through the day. If you can't be productive don't beat yourself up just distract yourself. Lifting weights will definitely be the biggest help. Read books too especially fiction as it takes you to a different world. Good luck.

 

[mentorr]

I think if you are ever able to ‘feel’ while in the flatline, you are likely doing something wrong. Reading your account you sound like you are on track and heading in the right direction, keep going.