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Flatline

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Svabo, May 17, 2018.

  1. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    So I've found a girlfriend. She is great and very supportive. She is also in the middle of divorce and also i some kind of total life reorientation like I am. We get together really really well, far better that I did with my ex. She is also very horny towards me, like SUPER horny!
    But the problem is my flatline. My penis just doesn't work as it should and I have hard time getting it hard even with major simulation from her. She even shares my fetish and gets very horny when fulfilling it for me. But even then my penis gets hard but tends to drop. We did manage to have sex but it was not so good sex (although she enjoyed it very much): I would be able to fu* her for about 5 min and then my penis would drop. In that time she did cum because she was super horny. Then I would please her orally while trying to get hard again and when I could manage it, we would have a go again. In the end, the sore was amazing: she achieved orgasm in total 7 times (!!!) although my penis dropped on me like 5 times. I managed to achieve an orgasm once and in another round I just couldn't do it again... it was embarrassing success, not sure how to feel about it o_O

    So, I'm aware that these starting horny feelings will become lesser over time and that there will be problems if I'll have problems with penis like this in the future. I'm just not aroused even she is hot and it should turn me on

    so any idea for how long should this flat line last? And is there any thing I can do that will help me overcome it more efficiently?

    Also she has phobia of me achieving orgasm in her even when i'm wearing condom. So I have to cum outside of her by masturbating myself - I find it kind of wrong for my nofap treatment...
    Also last time I used condoms was like 12 years ago so it definitely numbs my feeling but I know that the problem is in me not being aroused and not the condom...

    any advice
     
  2. Have exact same problem here.
    All we can do is wait. If this is your first flatline you must be freaking out pretty hard right now. If not, you can draw some conclusions from your previous flatlines. For most guys flatline ends somewhere between days 50 to 90, so in best case you're only 1 week away from the end. For the reference, my previous flatline ended on day 70 or something like that.

    Hang in tight Brother. You're very, very close :)
     
    Gettingbetter23, Moon Shot and Svabo like this.
  3. kilometrico

    kilometrico Fapstronaut

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    additionally,well exercise helps you get pumping your testosterone. hence get super horny i bet ya.
    based on my experience.haha
     
    Svabo likes this.
  4. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    We had sex this morning because I had morning wood. It was ok sex. But I've noticed that I just can't achieve orgasm from only RL situation and that by using imagination I can uplift myself from flatline. So I've cheated :( and tough of imaginary scene with one colleague from work and almost instantly achieved an orgasm :(

    Also when she left, I felt bad about it and bamn YT, I've almost relapsed cause it offered me a video that turned me on that lead to another and another... I'm not that man anymore, I'll not masturbate!

    Looks like I need hard mode to cure myself
     
  5. Just bite through it Bro.
    Don't cheat by thinking anything else than that RL experience, however tempting that might seem at the moment (cause I know just HOW tempting that is). It just prolong your rebooting and makes you feel worse. It's basically just like using her as your "f*cktoy" while masturbating and it should make you feel bad about yourself (been there, done that, didn't get the T-shirt :D).

    It all comes to an beautiful end someday. Believe that.
     
    Svabo likes this.
  6. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

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    Focus your mind solely on the sensation she's giving you. If she's into giving you head or something like that, I'd say even close your eyes and/or don't look at her or your dick. In my intro post I noted an interesting epiphany I had today regarding arousal. It tends to work best when you're not *THINKING* about having sex. It's hard to explain, but it's almost like what I've heard and read about meditation; random thoughts and whatnot may pop into your head but you don't dwell on them or pursue the thoughts further. You just let them float on.
     
    Mike Bonanno and Svabo like this.
  7. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    she doesn't like to give head or hand job... only intercourse and a lot of it. Also she insists on the condom and I'm not used to it so not only it gives me bad arousal, it numbs my feelings
     
  8. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

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    I can definitely relate to that. I hate condoms too. If you're in a committed relationship, ask her if she'd feel better if you both got tested and showed each other your results. If she's not on birth control, coitus interuptus is your friend. I'm not a doctor, but having pulled that routine more than I should have, you won't get her pregnant unless you either 1) ejaculate in her (obviously) or 2) you ejaculate whether from masturbation or whatever, then you have sex with her again without having urinated since your last ejaculation due to the extremely small chance you have some residual precum in the tip of your pecker. That-said, the odds are extremely small; less than 1%. But I don't want to be responsible for any unwanted pregnancies, no matter how low the risk.

    Have you asked her why she doesn't like giving head? I knew a girl or two like that once and once they got comfortable with it, they enjoyed it. Yeah they don't typically like you blowing your wad in their mouth, but the other aspects of it they're cool with. If I'm laying down and she's doing it on top, they find it kind of a turn-on due to it giving them a feeling of power (at least from the ones I've asked). Again, just from my own personal experience; NAWALT and all that shit applies.
     
  9. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

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    Wait what the hell is her problem with a hand job? (Sorry I missed that part earlier.) I mean shit if I were a girl I could understand not liking giving head, but a handy? Seriously that's something you GOT to talk to her about. I'll admit I've been with exactly one girl who had some really weird aversion to touching my cock. This was a long time ago so I don't remember exactly what the hell her BS reasoning was, but that is DEFINITELY weird. If she can't even touch your junk I'd seriously begin considering pursuing other options if I were you.
     
  10. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    She is just selfish in that way: she says we can have sex as much as I want, but she won't fulfill me any solo activity. So it's not a bad deal, I'm ok with it. Better than my ex which did give me hand but for sex I had to beg...

    Also I've fapped today. I've done it on purpose and without any stimuli: I've concentrated only on my penis... and it was hard to achieve orgasm.
    The reason I've done it was because I've been researching about healthy masturbation as the way to reprogram the brain. I'm aware that bare look at porn or usage of imagination causes me to become stimulated and that masturbating with concentrating on the feeling of masturbation does me nothing. So I've decided to masturbate with concentrating on feeling of masturbation and to see how will it go. It was really hard because I wasn't stimulated at all, totally turned off and my penis was flappy... I've concentrated hard and managed to get somewhat hard and I really had to try hard to achieve orgasm. The orgasm was really weak, like 1/10 of standard orgasm I had while watching porn...
    I was thinking that if I rely solely on sex situations as means to reprogram, it will be a lot of bad sex and stressful situations (of flappy penis not being aroused by RL sexy girl). I shouldn't had to achieve an orgasm but I don't feel it back warded me so much because it lack stimulus. But having full balls has it's benefits...
    So I'm restarting the counter and I won't have solo orgasms again, but I'll definitely masturbate daily only concentrating on feeling of it and my penis...
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  11. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

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    Dude what the hell man. Weren't you under a week since you last jacked off anyway? You're rationalizing your actions to yourself. If you have that weak of an erection and orgasm, you NEED to reboot. And do a freaking hard one at that. At a certain point I'd be willing to debate the merits of retraining yourself to become aroused without any mental stimulation; solely physical. But you are a LONG WAYS AWAY FROM THAT POINT. Hell I wouldn't even recommend that either because it's the road to relapse; at least for me it was which is why I'm here.

    Stop rationalizing your choice to jack off. Do a reboot. Do it in babysteps if you have to. Go for ONE WEEK without beating your meat. Then you go for two weeks. We all have relapses'n'whatnot man but it's gonna be tough for me or anyone else to have sympathy for you when you last only a couple days AND you're rationalizing your actions to yourself. All research and anecdotal evidence (these and related forums) point to you needing to reboot. That means no jacking off, period. I know it can be hard at times man but you gotta find a way to fill your time in the meantime without jerking off. I don't know what your age is but I have a full time job plus a lot of other shit going on so it makes things easier for me because I just kinda tire myself out. Plus I'm assuming I'm a bit older. But anyway I'll say it again: stop rationalizing, and do the damn reboot.
     
    over50 and Svabo like this.
  12. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    No, I haven't jacked off for 45 days! I had sex with my girlfriend past two weeks we're together...
    And thanks for being supportive :)

    I'm really not rationalizing, I just wanted to force myself to be able to do solely physical stimulation, I have never done it before. I've been fantasizing and watching porn for 25 years so my arousal is purely connected to mental stimulation, I'm very aware of that. I want to change that fast. I wont have orgasm any more, I just wanted to see if I can that one time. I'll practice healthy masturbation which is masturbation while being concentrated on physical stimulation but without achieving an orgasm. And that practice is suggested by professionals in the field of porn addiction
     
  13. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    I've watched porn at Thursday evening... I had huge urge for it and watched it for about half an hour. I did touch myself but haven't had an O, I did managed to stop after porn high let me go :( The arousal from watching was enormous...
    My girlfriend came Friday and we tried to have sex and I couldn't, my flat line was as bad as on the begging. I haven't had any urge...
    Porn high destroys sexual urge very effectively and causes flat line...

    so yea, I'm again in hard flatline and I'm thinking about if all of this has any sense. Like, I felt like sh*t when I was alone and PMO-ing but I also feel like sh*t now when I don't have urge and don't have any high at all...
     
  14. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    Do nofap, make sure u have healthy bloodflow, improve ur testosterone, use something that helps keep ur blood flowing, dont put urself in uncomfortable or stressful positions especially ones that bend ur legs or hinder bloodflow. Take something natural but subtle to help until its more natural. I'd suggest Maca root. find it at a local drug store. The other things are stronger and feel a bit more fake and arent great for nofap imo . but overall u gotta break ur flatline if it is that. And stop masturbating with ur hand. Use cream / coconut oil/ something that heals and sensitizes ur skin down there when ur not using it. That can help more than u'd imagine.
     
    Svabo likes this.
  15. Gettingbetter23

    Gettingbetter23 Fapstronaut

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    It gives me so much hope to read that on average the flatline goes for 50-90 days. I reached 50 twice but because there was very little improvements in my erections I’ve got discouraged and I lost it. This time I won’t even allow myself to question it until 100 days (80 more to go).

     
    Mike Bonanno likes this.
  16. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    like edible coconut oil or some kind of coconut cosmetics?
     
  17. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

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    A little bit of coconut oil is great for healing the skin on your helmet. I gotta emphasize "a little bit" because a little goes a long way. And if you use too much, I've noticed it can stain your briefs. I live in a rather arid climate now, but what I do is I put a little bit on the tip (and any excess around the rest of my junk where I'm prone to getting dry skin) and just let it kind of air dry while I'm naked. I occupy the time letting it dry with shaving or brushing my teeth or whatever before I put my briefs or boxers on.
     

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