Flatlining and PIED/AIED

So here I am at 7.53 am in England writing this about how still after now over 4 months of nofap my libido hasn't truly returned. I wanted to mainly write this so that newcomers and long time no flappers alike see how long this process can be, for I have had many times in the past left porn behind for less time and come out with raging bones with the women I've been with, but this time has being dramatically different and I felt it should be shared knowledge to all those expecting results around the same time early on and how anxiety can affect those results.

Now let's look back at my previous 'streaks'. Many times in the past I got to the point of one month, two months and nearly even three months once, and the common theme in these times was that my libido returned withing about 20 to 30 days, I was able to have healthy sex with my partner and all was well until I fell back into the great pit of despair and lapsed.

Fast forward to December 14th 2019, I had my epiphany, the moment when my mindset changed for good, when I REALLY understood how much I was into this and how much I truly needed to fight to keep this addiction from taking me for my full life. After this realisation I seemed to have an incredible boost in my serial confidence and instantly my brain stopped worrying, it accepted this fight and like a switched had flicked I was able to be aroused easily by my now partner, I was hard as a rock and nothing could stop me, I was a new man. Now since that fateful day I have being stronger than ever before, but I have lapsed twice, once on Feb 6th (my birthday) and then finally on March 2nd! Which is the last time I viewed porn and the beginning of this great journey I am currently on.

Now let's concentrate on my March 2nd lapse. Ever since that day my mind seems to have dipped, to have being shrouded in darkness like never before, I am proud of what I am achieving, but that feeling from my epiphany has disappeared, my mind seems to not work the same as before that lapse. I have had times when I've being able to get hard, but my libido has yet to truly return, there are signs that it is, but I have become less patient with the process. Each day has become a struggle, partly because I am in a job I hate, so that definitely contributes, but my libido is on my mind so much. Last has begun to try and take me away, my eyes wander too much and my mind takes me to dark places when I awaken in the morning, to the point of not sleeping well or able to go back to sleep when I have awoken early.

It's a serious struggle right now, but I am getting through, I don't write this as a cry for help overall I am okay, I can deal with my urges and my wandering eye, I simply write this today to show how long the process can be for some people, so others don't get disheartened when they're months in like me and nothing has changed. Its an amazing thing we do and I am proud of myself being where I am in my recovery, its a special thing, but it does drain you after a time, just don't let it take you back to the start for that will not make you feel any better, just take another step and get through another day, thats all that it takes, just getting through each day and one day it will return to you. Good luck all!

 

Hey bro I tried reading your success story but got a little lost while reading it.... so all in all how long if rebooting do you think it took you? I’m at 1 year of no porn and still am in the flatline cuz I have a few orgasms with my gf