Flatlining in a Relationship

First of all, good job! Really good that you didn't fap after the fight.

As a SO I can understand how she feels. This addiction hurt so much. It hurt the most intimate feelings. It hurt sooo much to feel unwanted when you know that your SO look with desire at other women. It is difficult to not take it personally. I have felt the same way as she.

Luckily I have read a lot about this addiction and can understand what's going on, but I have to admit that it still hurts. Has she done any research and educated herself about porn addiction? Does she have any support? I would suggest that she enjoy us on Nofap and our group for spouses. It's really healing to read others story's and to have support.

Also take a look what @fupornwife writes about Karezza.

Good luck!

 

Yes, you can see a link to what I've written about karezza in my signature. (turn your phone sideways if you can't see it)

I'm sorry this is happening. As an SO who was rejected sexually, I can see how that does hurt. However, for me, I also needed the nonsexual cuddling and conversation. (FANOS) I don't think you should be trying to boost your sex drive, no. It's a temporary thing. I think trying to enjoy her with other things besides sex is a very good thing.

The thing is, after being hurt so many times, I go too easily to that explosively angry place when triggered by behavior that feels like the "old" husband has come back. (As opposed to new husband, after he started the reboot.) And we all say things we don't mean when we are hurt and angry. Can you try talking to her about this again, when you are both calm?

 

Let me try to revive a 5 year old thread. This is exactly what's happening to me and I'm on day 22 and in a relationship. Up until now I've had a high libido and about a week ago when I had a hard time getting it up I blamed work and life stress which is a factor. Last night and today I still have a problem getting it up and I'm facing the reality that I'm in a flatline. Ive done my best to explain to my girlfriend that it's not her and gave her several resources including this thread explaining what a flatline is and what I'm going through. She thinks im not attracted to her and that's not the case, in the year and 3 months we've been together I love her very much and I'm very attracted to her. I started taking a testosterone booster 3 days ago and it hasn't helped my erections or libido yet. Something I want to talk about is that I think many women even those uninterested in porn expect men to be perfect performers all the time. 95 percent of our sex life has been great and I realize this flatline is part of the process of bettering myself on this nofap journey, yet in this flatline everyday with her is the pressure to perform and everyday it doesn't happen is a downward spiral into what feels like hell. Trying my best to explain this to her, no luck yet. Final thoughts, if I was single I'd have probably relapsed, but I haven't because I know it would only hurt me further.