Flirting, is this a backwards step?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by TanglePie, Nov 17, 2017.

Tags:
  1. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    18 days no PMO and 39 days P free. But today was weird. A female work collegaue, who I have never really took notice of, we started flirting over email across the office floor. Just banter really. But tried my hardest to look away from her. I found her beautiful to look at.

    It was fun and nice, and didn't think of her in a disgusting way.

    My question is is this normal? Or is flirting a backwards step during my recovery?
     
    Dragonnlife likes this.
  2. Dragonnlife

    Dragonnlife Fapstronaut

    Depends on what your intentions are. Your first priority should be NoFap. If you feel that you can have this positive interaction with the opposite sex without it hindering your ability to stick to the reboot than I say go for it. Really look at your intentions though, we can lie to ourselves and DO often. Good luck and congrats on your time!
     
    rostronaut likes this.
  3. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    I think as it feels weird I don't think i am ready to pursue it and could be, like you said, my mind lying to me. If their is a real attraction then maybe in the future, when I am ready, its a possibility.

    NoFap has to be number 1, it really does. Thank you bro
     
    rostronaut and Dragonnlife like this.
  4. Notmandy

    Notmandy Fapstronaut

    95
    317
    53
    Yeah, sometimes I wonder if it's just my desire to MO that pushes my interest in guys or because I think there is actually a connection. I'd for sure say end it if you don't think it's going to go anywhere, as harsh as that sounds. It sucks when a guy flirts with you then avoids you after, so maybe keep things casual until you determine if you want to ask her out!
     
    TanglePie likes this.
  5. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    The last thing I want to do is hurt somebody or lead them on. I don't even know if it is flirting or if she is just being nice. I liked it, and it was natural. If we get closer then the right thing to do is to tell her my issues and what I am going through. I have told a few work friends already about what I am dealing with. Blown away with how supportive they are.
     
    Notmandy and Dragonnlife like this.
  6. BigO

    BigO Fapstronaut

    9
    5
    3
    Don't let nofap hinder your social interactions with women since that is extreme and unnecessary.
     
    Nomar and TanglePie like this.
  7. SLINGBLADE247

    SLINGBLADE247 Fapstronaut

    95
    87
    18
    I see no harm as long as there were no malicious intentions to me it's an indication of you being attracted to women
     
  8. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    I guess that is a step backwards by not interacting. I just want to make sure my intentions are clear
     
  9. Dragonnlife

    Dragonnlife Fapstronaut

    exactly :) Be careful though because she may lash out at feeling rejected even if you don't intend it to be. People (including myself) take things personally so she may try to hurt you by shutting down your talk of NoFap or simply not understand. You can be straightforward without being too detailed at the same time. Just use your best judgement
     
    TanglePie likes this.
  10. SLINGBLADE247

    SLINGBLADE247 Fapstronaut

    95
    87
    18
    Yeah its a start to having a healthy attractions of women
     
    TanglePie likes this.
  11. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    The thing is I don't think my intentions are malicious. But I don't want my mind to trick me. Its this weird feeling I seem to be having. Its hard to explain. Its like an excited but uneasy feeling. I can't quite place it
     
    Dragonnlife likes this.
  12. SLINGBLADE247

    SLINGBLADE247 Fapstronaut

    95
    87
    18
    Simply your heart is beating of a woman's life and not any pixels on a computer
     
    Nomar, D-Mystifier and TanglePie like this.
  13. SLINGBLADE247

    SLINGBLADE247 Fapstronaut

    95
    87
    18
    I have the same feeling over a couple of girls at where I work although my mind sometime go a little far and I'm like whoa sorry Jesus. Mostly I'm just looking back at how great she looks
     
    TanglePie likes this.
  14. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    Its tough to decifer real feelings when it isn't pixels I am dealing with. I think I want to get to know her first. Its just been fun chatting and emailing while cracking on with work.

    I don't get how I have never noticed her before though. Like I spoke to her etc in the past but recently I have noticed her eyes and hair, and a really snug jumper she wore the other day. Nothing sexual, just the colour and the style was nice.
     
    Dragonnlife likes this.
  15. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    I don't want her hurt or feel rejected or lash out.
     
  16. D-Mystifier

    D-Mystifier Fapstronaut

    186
    455
    63
    It's tough, flirting is fun, but it definitely leads to temptation. In my case I know I can't follow through on flirtation, so I try and avoid it, even though it is super fun and helps build confidence. "Yeah I still go it"
     
    TanglePie likes this.
  17. SLINGBLADE247

    SLINGBLADE247 Fapstronaut

    95
    87
    18
    Pixels will do that to us. I believe once we snap out of it we finally get to see characters behind the face
     
    TanglePie likes this.
  18. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    I have to admit I am liking the attention. I am starting to swing more towards it is too early to start anything so should back away from it. I will tell her Monday how I feel and what my issues are that I am dealing with. She can except them or be angry but at least the truth is out there.
     
  19. TanglePie

    TanglePie Fapstronaut

    212
    375
    63
    Yeah I totally get that. Some of the conversations I used to have with the guys at work was degrading and disgusting. I stay away from them and it now. I am starting to see the effect P has on peoples perceptions. Its a poison
     
    Dragonnlife likes this.

Share This Page