Flirting with male colleague got very messy, advice from guys?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by green lion eating the sun, Aug 23, 2021.

  1. If he is behave himself like a child, it's up to you to behave mature.
     
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  2. Update:
    I keep fully ignoring him after he "rejected" me. Today he was on shift as me. I behaved super unbothered and he wasn't mr I brag anymore. It gave me the impression it was a case of "you want what you can't get anymore"

    He found excuses to be in the area many times where i work during today's shift and he was not forced to be in my work of area at all. even if when i had to walk behind him i was avoiding any chance of us touching even by accident and he was doing it too. when i left the workplace though he was kinda wanting me to do something
     
  3. NoEdgingForever

    NoEdgingForever Fapstronaut

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    If he talks to you again? what will be your reaction?
     
  4. ZombieMan

    ZombieMan Fapstronaut

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    This is embrassing. Hes got so much of a hold over you. After he ignored your text….you shouldve ignored his existence and moved on. Your better than this. Their plenty of hotter guys out there. No need to stay with this troll and play his games.
     
  5. I am not sure that is what he was doing. yesterday i saw him again at work. looks like he is always at work when i am. I would like to have days I don't have to see him. I swear he is always around the area where I work much more more now after he rejected me then when we were still flirting

    Why? He is around the other girls I work with (they both have bfs and will not cheat). Why irritating me? Yesterday he was back at bragging and crap like that. yesterday i wasn't feeling very good and self esteem like a carpet and having to see the guy that rejected me constantly does not help

    then i saw when i asking for something to other colleagues and he was there too he looked at me. is he pissed off because i don't talk to him anymore and act like i would be disgusted by touching him and i avoid it now at all costs. he does it too in response (doesn't talk to me and avoids touching me). why is he doing this? I just wanna be left alone by him
     
  6. embarassing is an understatement. If i knew it would have gone from some flirting to out of the blue rejection I would have never allowed the flirting to happen. I talked to him for a couple of days after he rejected my text just because he looked nice to me, still flirty but much less and he started talking to me not the opposite

    but since i confronted him on why he ignored my text and then kept wanting to talk to me at work and he said "i am not on my phone often" I stopped talking to him and i have no intention to talk to him ever again. I should be pumped and happy every single time i am on shift with this troll for him to not acting so full of himself and being on shift with a certain colleague (they act like twins for how good of friends they are) he feels even more full of himself. he still bragged yesterday (and i was feeling pretty bad with the self esteem of a carpet)

    he is much more around in the area where I work now after i stopped to talk to him and avoid his touching in every way. as a response he avoids any possible touching with me that might happen by walking by and doesn't talk to me. he is around this colleague that is like his bff and other 2 girls i work with (they both got bfs and will not cheat). why being around me? I swear I cannot wait to date a nice guy that I will find outside of work. when i am happy he feels without power, when i am feeling less than fantastic he likes to ruin and go on with the bragging
     
  7. He is flirting with one of the girls I strictly work with and she has a bf and she is attracted i can see it. He is really a bad person

    I guess I didn't want to accept the most likely reason why he was around my area of work but not me anymore

    I hate working like this but at least this girl is gonna quit the job in less than a month. I feel shit and unwanted
     
  8. All these emotions don’t belong in a workplace, it sounds odd! You should be focused on work. It’s not safe to do this in the workplace, because people can be low down and cut throat!
     
    RobbyGo36, NoEdgingForever and Roady like this.
  9. Can you look for a love life outside of the workplace maybe? :emoji_confounded:
     
    NoEdgingForever and CodeTalker like this.
  10. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    you said it sister, work will set her free.
     
    Gina3111 likes this.
  11. Just curious do you have a sponsor you could talk to this about?

    You win this situation by deflating it, then removing yourself from it. Next time you bump into him act like he's your kid brother. Maybe slip in some platonic nicknames into the conversation: "dude", "buddy", "bro".

    Keep in mind you're a recovering sex addict and this is the workplace. Don't shit where you eat is very good advice.
     
  12. KKS123

    KKS123 Fapstronaut

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    Not a guy but I think you are just overreacting because you got rejected lol. I know us women aren't used to getting rejected but put yourself in the guy's situation, most men get rejected almost all the time, he probably just felt good for being able to be the one doing the rejecting for once.
     
  13. i was "starving" s. and when I started touching his arm and flirting (he didn't touch me but we almost kissed and it was during shift) my libido woke up strong and I started craving to get him to get this feelings again, also the other guys and managers pushed me to be with him, would mention him to me constantly so I shoot my shot given that everyone at work already knew

    since this final recovery my libido is usually zero and thankfully because that allowed me to sober up but at the same time i used to have a huge libido and i mean huge and all the time. so this is still unbalancing for me to adjust

    i always kept this golden rule of never getting involved with coworkers. I was s. starving and I thought i could have made out with this bast.ard on my lunch break, not more than that but i was stalling a lot because i wasn't sure if i wanted to go forward with the situation. workplace was a place where i could meet guys in a normal way. i want to meet guys when I am out and about, in a spontaneous way like people did even 10-20 years ago

    the confidence i had from being an active s. addict made me feel "powerful" and very weak. since my reboot it is like i lost my biggest weakness and my biggest trait at the same time. this rejection would have never happened when i was still an active s. addict

    I challenge everyone to keep working with someone after they rejected you and see how it feels. horrible, especially if after they hang where you work and flirt with someone else in front of you and they behave like perfect douche.bags and still brag

    if i didn't have to see him anymore I would have forgotten straight away. anyway i have to keep working with him but yesterday i have had it enough and I spoke with one of the manager that worked yesterday (he is a very close friend with this douche.bag) and told him i hate that guy and him being in my area of work, i want him to work in his area and i stay in my area, i told him i really hate the guy. he belongs to a different department than me. I am sure the manager got the message about how much i loathe the sight of him

    I work today too. I will read from start to finish again a book that helped me greatly for self esteem. Let's do it!!! Also when I get a guy i will take him to my workplace so I can heavily make out with him just because I like to show off
     
  14. no i don't have a sponsor at the moment but it is fine. i wanted other guys on here to give me their opinions because i have never met a guy behaving in this way (how things started and how they turned out in the end, i would have never expected this)

    i removed myself from it, acting unbothered made it better but for a bit only until i figured out the douche.bag was flirting with this other girl that i stricly work with and being in my area of work literally constantly since we had the confrontation and he said " I am not on my phone often"

    I refuse to talk to him to even call him bro. i spoke with a manager after i finished the shift and told him to not make him be around me as much as possible. this douche.bag looked at me while i was talking with the manager, i am sure he knew it was about him. i am done with this. him bragging ends now. I am going to get respected at work

    now i have self control about s.
    pre-reboot i didn't have self control when it came to s. and could not resist
     
  15. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

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    Not sure if that's how it works
     
  16. There are no ex-addicts. Doesn't matter how sober we get and for how long--, 10, 20, 30 years, a lifetime-- we're still addicts. I don't say this to be discouraging, but rather to help you assess the situation without any illusions.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2021
    Oliver Gunter likes this.
  17. curling_cobra

    curling_cobra Fapstronaut

    1. Rejection: It takes courage to handle rejection. Know that you are brave, and there are better potential partners out there for you. We men get rejected many times, even the most handsome of them. Take a look at some of the celebrities that you think are super perfect! They will have gone through some rejections as well. Look at some of the celebrity women you admire, and you will see some rejections there as well. So don't worry. Being rejected doesn't mean you are not beautiful or attractive enough. It just means that things didn't work out, and he didn't make an effort to get to know you! It's his loss, not yours.
    2. Stuck: The more you talk about him, the more you focus about him, the more you notice where he is or isn't, you will be stuck. You need to move on. Try to treat him like every other colleague. Or, start to ignore him and try to focus more on work. Make sure you don't fall behind on your work. Looks like your workplace is quite open for on the job romance. So make sure you keep your guard up.
    3. Move on: Try to find some one else you fancy. Shift your attention else where. Focus on another project that you care and enjoy doing. Move on.
     
  18. update

    i came back to work 2 days ago after a month and a half of absence and now he works everyday during holidays. he still looks he is having a great time in my presence

    i struggle looking at colleagues and managers in the eyes including him. i don't like him anymore, he showed to be very childish (big turn off) and flirts with the only girl i now work with, a different one from the one he flirted with in August and September.

    I am not bothered by him flirting in front of me anymore. Thankfully i never did anything with him. (i never liked him but he was one of the 2 guys that woke up my libido after a long time and so i wanted more of what i already felt)

    how does a guy who was attracted to me, followed me on my break and waited an hour at least multiple times for me to finish my work tasks to spend time with me to now acting he never was attracted to me in the first place? the other guys at work check me out even if they do it sneakily. how can he be now so unbothered by my presence? is he pretending to look indifferent?

    after he ignored my one text at the end of July, i confronted him about that in August after his holidays but he was childish and a d.bag but he wanted to still flirt and talk

    i stopped talking to him and since then he has been trying to still behave like he won an Oscar but doesn't talk about girls acting he is the biggest playboy like when he was flirting with me. he is not even a good looking guy, he is not bad but not handsome for sure

    I texted last night a shirtless pic of an actor i like on the work group chat. I made my profile pic public before i sent the text (it was a flattering pic of me) and he saw the text straight away. one of his friends literally drooled while looking at me. on the whatsapp group chats you get notification from the profile pic of the sender of the text and just the word "gif" so he knew it came from me before looking at the text

    If while he was talking with colleagues of mine I would shoot on his ego saying his true nationality? he claims he is from my country but he is not. On some guys the only way to put them in their place is to hurt their ego so they feel like the d.bags they are. i tried to confront him in a mature way but it did not work. he is a kid

    i want to get respected. i don't care about him anymore. i wish i never sent him that one text

    i want to be able to hold eye contact with everyone otherwise they talk trash about me in front of me and i look like my self esteem is of a carpet and also i need to stand with my back straight and not let people walk all over me. tips?
     
  19. curling_cobra

    curling_cobra Fapstronaut

    Why is it that when a guy shows interest in a girl, she tends to run away? And when he stops, she is surprised and intrigued? That's a mystery.

    "Self Esteem" - It's the esteem you give yourself, that's why it's called "Self" esteem. It's what you think about yourself, not what you think that others think of you. The best way to do that is, to simply affirm and respect yourself. Boost your self confidence, and that will boost your self esteem.

    TEDx talks I recommend
    body language -
    self confidence -
     
  20. yesterday he was lowkey checking me out, a couple of times he locked eyes with me! I literally was ignoring him acted as if he did not exist, no emotions completely normal. I noticed he also tried to follow me, turned around to look at me a couple of times too

    He clearly wished he never ignored my text! the satisfaction I feel! I don't know how guys get rejected more often than girls and women and they deal with it good, kudos to guys for this! Even though my value is not based on other people, only me. I am working on all of these things

    Thanks for your message and the videos. I def feel body language is key. I have to appreciate myself and put me on a pedestal first for then to have people treat me as I want and deserve. It is an exercise I will do everyday until I get it

    Male and females want things and people that are not easy to get. That is the human nature
     

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