Focus on yourself

The question assumes that selfish is something bad or immoral. I once thought that (and developed a victim's mentality), but then I finally realized no one is looking out for me and no one cares about satisfying my needs--except for me. When you don't look out for yourself, others see it and will take advantage of you. After all, if you don't care enough about yourself to look after your own needs, you can't expect others to do so especially women.

 

I would consider others' needs and their opinions to be more important than my own. This happens when I place people on a pedestal. It's as if they don't have the same problems that I have so it seems grossly unfair. I say "victim" because it feels like everyone and everything around me is out to make my life more painful and miserable. In some cases, I really was a legitimate victim like when I experienced physical / emotional abuse. Even though I maybe a victim, these issues are still my problem to deal with. They are my problem because no one else is going to care enough to make sure I recover from them. Perhaps as children we had parents who could look after us, but they're not around forever and some of us didn't even have loving parents to begin with.

 

Sounds like me in the past. Used to be ‘too compassionate’ if you will. Family is always there at the end of the day unlike other people

 

Unless the family is dysfunctional. Toxic people will only exacerbate a problem whether they are family or not. I've made that mistake as well.

 

There's no such thing as selflessness. Even a mother expects something in return, as a preacher does for his service to God.