Foot fetish and fapping

I wanted to vent a little and write about my foot fetish. Normally I express my frtidh by watching porn, fapping, or checking out girls feet. Now that I am going fap free, hopefully writing about it will be a better way to express myself in a healthy way.

My fetish started when I was a kid. I remember a babysitter with perfect feet who let me touh them and tickle them. I like to think my frtish has positive origins, which is why I almost don't want to lose it if I give up porn or fapping. It's almost become a part of my identity...I really love having something that is "different" but I guess beig a the cute guy who loves feet also leads me to trouble. Recently, I gave a foot massage to a friend and she knows I have a fetish. We almost played like a game where she of I have hr a shoulder massage, she would "let me" rub her feet. While it was amazing I. The short term, it. Oils literally cost me my marriage or at least the trust in my marriage.

At this point ill stop because I am rambling. However, I'd like to vent with fellow foot people to see if we can kick the habit in a way that still lets us be ourselves.

 

Lifeguard feet at the pool

So it figures on day 4 of my challenge that I encounter the hottest lifeguard with the hottest feet possible. I'm once again venting because if I didn't I know exactly what I would be doing right now. I know now that all these opportunities to see , touch, or tickle feet are going I start popping up and I really gotta stay ahead of it. I'm calm now but this is tough! I'm sure most of you guys could replace feet with boobs or legs or butts, so I am curious about how intense your temptations were early on and if you had to deal with amazing girls that made it almost unfair because they were so perfect. Seriously I shouldn't have even looked at her feet but they were frickin awesome. Maybe someday ill think "feet? Weird..." But right now I'm being tested to the highest level while away on my trip. I miss my wife for multiple reasons, but right now I really wih we could connect so I can get this other girl and her feet out of my head. On that note, I'm still going strong and I should be able to make it through the day. That will be 4 days, which is the longest in a while. Again, I may need to write more tonight to stay ahead of the stress but maybe someday it will get easier

 

Hey nofap, thanks for the message. My wife is very aware of my foot fetish and she is get willing to indulge me by letting me kiss and worship her feet basically whenever I want. She has stated that giving foot massages, etc to other girls is not ok, which is tough for me but makes sense..if I liked boobs, it wouldn't be ok to touch other girls boobs, so feet are no different. My selfish side is still coming To grips with that, and I even had an episode about a month ago where I gave a foot massage to a beautiful coworker. Tha was actually one of my catalysts that got me thinking about addressing the problem...although my friends feet are amazing and tempting, it's not worth jeopardizing my marriage.

 

Phone Conversation,Gorgeous friend, foot massages

Ok this one is going to be somewhat of a rambling mess because honestly this is the hardest moment ive had since i began my challenge a week ago. I just got off the phone with a female friend of mine who has been a major source of my issues. Not in a bad way. In fact, I have so many mixed feelings about all this that it is one big jumble. Again, I will post something more coherent once I blow off some steam here. Anyway, this friend/coworker and I have a very special relationship, with probably about 80-90% of our friendship being healthy. Perhaps 10-20% is unhealthy and/or dangerous (we are both married in overall happy marriages).

This friend is aware of my foot fetish, and while innocent for the most part, she has also had some fun teasing me with her feet, mentioning her feet, or bribing me in some fun, friendly (yet dangerous deep down) way. We had previously settled on an arrangement of sorts where I would rub her shoulders (not sexually, she really has issues with her back), and in return she would "let me" rub her feet (an absolutely fair trade based on the extent of my fetish...I would probably have paid her or basically done anything she said...that's how desperate I was). She would never do anything mean of course, but she had power over me without a doubt.

My wife has been very firm about not wanting me to give foot massages to other women, likening it to touching breasts or asses if those were my chosen object of affection. My manipulative side tried to talk her out of it, and looking back I think it was a case of "seeing what I could get away with". It still sucks that she won't let me do it (selfish me talking), but I do get it because it's beyond an innocent thing based on where my mind could go while giving a foot massage.

Anyway, I have given my friend two foot massages, which in science terms were probably the biggest shots of dopamine my brain has ever experienced. It was fun, hot, dangerous, even a bit of a conquest, which got me beyond turned on. Sounds weird, but I was basically high when I got to rub my friends feet. Not to turn any foot fetishist on, but rather to just vent for myself, this woman has the hottest feet out of anyone I have ever met or seen on the internet. I have fantasized about her feet in so many ways that it became my alternative to porn when I fapped. It sucks because this girl also has a great heart and is a wonderful person. I almost wish she was ugly or at least had ugly feet, because if she did we would probably have one of the most special platonic relationships on the planet.

So, I have been seeing a therapist and have discussed my arrangement of giving foot massages. This led me to be honest with myself, and I decided to end that part of the arrangement. It would have been so easy to continue on with cheap thrills and escalating our agreement to foot worship, pictures of her feet, etc. but during times of a clear mind I have seen the future and it always ends badly...basically because my wife and her husband don't knwo about it, it would be devastating if we got caught, which we would. I know I would push the limits until I got caught, the typical cry for help.

Which brings me to today...I texted my friend and finished by calling her. We had some small talk but then I dove in and laid everythign on the table. My fapping side was PISSED at me, and it was so hard to do, but I was honest with her and told her that I have to end the foot massage part of the agreement. She was super cool about it, and didn't even make a big deal of it. She allowed me to express my feelings and vent about it, but was totally cool about making our relationship a truly healthy friendship. I still feel selfish, because I think going forward that we will make our friendship into an all-out truth session and within those talks I know I will want to discuss my fetish. However, I think we can get to the point once the initial venting is over where we can truly be there for each other to help make our marriages stronger and have a wonderful friendship. Before, she was always there for me, but was also my outlet for basically cheating on my wife physically. Again, not her fault. She was not trying to steal me from my wife, but innocently felt like we could have fun and have a funny arrangement where I could rub her feet. She liked getting massages, but didn't understand the intensity of my feelings. Now that she sees how much it bugs me, I know she will handle it perfectly. Got to run, but maybe someone could make sense of this or just validate that I am making sense and doing the right thing? Thanks everyone!!!J