Foot Fetish Fight (Project 365 days)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by KenAdams010197, Jan 10, 2019.

  1. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone, this is my story:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/foot-fetish-addict-need-help.206735/

    I have just relapsed yet again. But, enough is enough.
    It's really difficult to give up a foot fetish. Am gonna write here about my progress and recovery.
    Day 0 was an absolute disaster. I was trying to curb my sexual desires by watching Vanilla porn but ended up watching femdom foot fetish porn and relapsed again.
    I was able to identify some cues about my femdom habits.
    I mostly get these urges in the afternoon. I am a college student and have lectures 3 days a week. I mostly stay at home during the remaining days. Staying so much at home has me developed this disgusting habit of watching femdom porn whenever i feel bored.
    Any advises would be appreciated.
     
  2. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Day 1: Day 1 was good. I was out all day and it all felt like the beginning of something incredible. I went to the park with friends and despite many women being barefeet there, i didn't once have the idea of worshipping their feet.

    Day 2: Day 2 was a very hectic day and i didnt even have the time to think about my foot fetish. I also started to study for my exams and hit the gym. i think personal development is the key.

    Day 3: There are usually many people at home on Sunday and i didnt really have time to think about foot. However i had a terrible terrible dream at night in which a dominant woman was ordering me to worship her feet and bossing me around. Any opinion about this guys?
     
    TIMMY0110 likes this.
  3. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Hi mate. Good luck with the new streak. I can see how being a uni student only makes it harder as there is so much time for distraction. It's a long time ago now but my habits started at uni - a lot of time alone in room and easier than going out and meeting people
    Main initial suggestions from me;

    * Block porn from your phone and laptop. Whitelist any essential websites e.g. nofap beforehand as you'll want to access them
    * Either get someone you trust to set the password (otherwise you will workaround the blocker when you get strong urges) OR set a password which you won't be able to remember (I closed my eyes and tapped 4 random digits)
    * Carry on doing what you're doing - filling the day so there is limited time to think about your fetish. The dreams can't be helped, so you just have to put them aside (they will become less frequent later on in the reboot).

    I'd also recommend starting meditation. This will help manage the inevitable fantasising - which is impossible to prevent entirely (like telling someone to not imagine a pink elephant) but can be minimised and easier to handle.

    Also - unless you think giving specifics around the fetish are addressing the root issue, I'd consider keeping the detail more general. i.e. focus on describing the emotions rather than specific fantasies. I'd encourage people to share anything and everything if it helps, but just reading the detail is potentially triggering to those with a similar fetish - it might help you a bit not to think too hard about the detail of the fantasies? Just a thought....

    Stay strong!
     
    KenAdams010197 likes this.
  4. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    I just relapsed bro...I just can't resist the urges in the afternoon. I feel terrible terrible. The erotic dreams of yesterday was the key to this. I was feeling the urges since the morning.
    The good news is my lectures begin tomorrow and i will have less time to think about this freaking fetish.
    I think everytime i think about this am gonna meditate to channel all these energy.
     
  5. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Don't beat yourself up - resist the urge to binge. Seriously block these websites if you can - otherwise you're fighting with one hand tied behind your back. Even if you eventually cave into the M (I'm not recommending it), at least avoid the P - this is still progress.
    After a couple of weeks without M it does start to get a bit easier.

    The fetish thoughts are like the pink elephant in the room. If they enter your head and you decide to fight them, the risk is they just end up getting more attention. And you expend a lot of energy doing this over and over.
    So don't fight them or go up to them for closer inspection - just acknowledge they are there and let them flow in and out of your head. They go on their own.
    Hope this makes sense
     
    TIMMY0110 and KenAdams010197 like this.
  6. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    The foot fetish is a very difficult one. I struggle with it, They attract me as hell !!! I never watched femdom porn, I don't even know what is it, but what turns me on is an attractive woman with sole(s) in one photo. I am not attracted to only soles without showing a face in the same picture. (That's interesting,hm)

    This particular fetish (attraction to women soles) makes my nofap journey difficult as never. All my relapses during the year were because of that. I must be very careful of where I am looking, what I am watching. And even if I see some feet I need to remain calm, tell myself not to look there (otherwise huge dopamine release) and remind myself that I am not going to fap over it at any circumstances. I just let it go through my body and then forget about it. But I struggle with this a hell lot.

    The worst thing is Instagram, I have some business there which earns me money but there is a lot of triggers.

    Good luck to you on your journey.
     
    KenAdams010197 likes this.
  7. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Feel much better today bro. Hopefully i will beat it
     
    Andy Dufresne likes this.
  8. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    You'll get there buddy. We're all in this together
     
    KenAdams010197 likes this.
  9. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    I can relate bro
     
  10. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 was better as my courses started and i was doing loads of revision
    So was day 6 and i had no time to think about it
    I was mostly out on day 7 and again had no time to think about feet
    However yesterday night i dreamt about my ex crush feet and got a massive urge to masturbate. How can i make this urge go away??
     
  11. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Its hell i just relapsed again..the urges become too strong with these dreams
     
  12. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Sorry you relapsed buddy. This is all part of the process, the trick is to learn something each time. Have you blocked the porn - i.e. did you just masturbate to the fantasy? That would be good progress
    Have you started the meditation? I'd recommend headspace - it's not a quick fix, it will take a few weeks to start working but all these things are like one piece of the puzzle
     
    KenAdams010197 likes this.
  13. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Also worth defining short, medium and long term goals. Examples below but obviously they're just prompts, you know best what these should be;
    short term;
    - cut out all porn
    -beat my previous streak on M

    medium term
    - reach 30, 45, 90 day milestones etc
    - feel like porn induced (e.g. cuckold) fantasies are minor part of my sexuality or even not appealing
    - start to find other sexual thoughts attractive - doesn't mean the foot fetish goes away
    - avoid MO to facebook pics / staring etc
    - start to feel more at peace with the fantasies - don't expend loads of energy fighting them, don't indulge them either

    Long term
    - healthy relationship with an SO
    - at peace with my sexuality

    the danger with one huge goal is you never celebrate your smaller successes. All or nothing mentality is like putting you entire steak on red 45 in a game of roulette - you've got to manage the setbacks.
    Stretch yourself out of your comfort zone but be realistic

    And remember you're probably never going to;
    a) Not find feet attractive - this is your sexuality and in itself a harmless fetish - but it needs to be integrated into a wider, healthier sexuality
    b) You're going to have urges, you're not asexual. So while 365 days without an orgasm, while a noble stretch target, might not be required. Take each milestone at a time

    Hope this helps
     
    TIMMY0110 and KenAdams010197 like this.
  14. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    You are right bro, am gonna start with a week without P & M.
     
  15. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Thank a lot a lot for ur precious help bro...very lucky to have you giving me these advices.
     
    Andy Dufresne likes this.
  16. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear, I know the feeling of having an extremely strong urge over exgf feet. I don't even struggle with going back to porn now as I struggle with fantasizing about my experience with my EXgf nearly 2 years ago as she was super hot. But sometimes God gives us Goliath into our journey for us to become David. Today I will hit 10 days which for me is a very great success and I am really trying to avoid anything triggering in my mind. Good luck to you. You must resist your urges. Otherwise, you will never beat it. You need to build resistance over time, the same way as you build biceps in the gym.
     
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  17. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    :) No worries!
     
    KenAdams010197 likes this.
  18. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Congrats for this success bro...i wish to feel the same as you do in 10 days.
     
    4DCreator likes this.
  19. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    Day 9 was pretty cool as again i was mostly out. However i felt really really tired due to previous day’s double masturbation. The porn was like fresh off my mind. Watching femdom porn has a profound effect that even after a day i could not forget it.

    Day 10. My day started with the usual checking up my messages and visiting instagram. I was instantly turned on by this hot girl feet and legs picture. I really resisted all my urges and since it was sunday and everyone from my family were home, i didn’t have time to think about this. I think i should cut off instagram in the morning. It is a great source of turnons for a foot fetishist like me. However i turned on safe search on all my devices to avoid porn.
     
  20. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Good shout - I'd try and avoid the instagram. I think social media brings a whole host of its own problems for some people anyway. Make sure you can't easily turn safe search back on!
    Keep on the good progress!
     
    KenAdams010197 likes this.

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