Foot fetish in my relationship

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Hao93, Dec 27, 2019.

  1. Hao93

    Hao93 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello to everyone, im new here :)

    I started two weeks ago a fight to get rid of porn and masturbation from my life, from my relationship.
    Unfortunly i have an issue with my foot fetish... It all started pre-porn, i was a kid like 8yo and i just liked womans feet just looking on them. Later on it evolves with me and i started to give some massage etc. I feel now its kinda normal for me but then pornography came and change it in a way i cant hold anymore.

    I liked feet but i never asked myself before porn why i like do much. I mean after i think 10years of watching and masturbating to porn videos with "lesbians foot fetish" three co es some preferences like before i just like feet and now i like some specific... Small feet or short toes dont turn me on like a bigger ones with long toes or something like that... To be clear small feet turns me on but not like others...

    Im in relationship for almost 2 years and my girlfriend becomes fiance and we are planning to get married in october 2020. But there is the problem she has small feet and in my head my brain is just like i dont know i feel crazy sometimes or feel like my desire is not fullfilled... I think its weird because i really like my fiance and also want to make a familly with her, but this crap is getting in my way.
    All the time im thinking about this and i think i need some help od advertise..

    Please tell me if nofap, quiting porn can change this fetish specification or make my fiance feet more attractive to me? I know no one can know this, but i need to talk i cant just sitting here and feel fear...

    Im also a Catholic faithfull and praying with my fiance to stay in cleanliness with her and with myself.

    Thanks for your help everyone!
     
  2. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

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    There was a quote I came across in a guided meditation: "Try not to think too much about your likes and your dislikes. It is our likes and dislikes that got us into this mess in the first place." As you said, before your exposure to porn you were not so picky about your preferences. You have invented an illusory desire for yourself. This is a normal reaction - when you overstimulate yourself, your brain always seeks more and more specific sources of pleasure, and now your tastes have become narrowed down. Dealing with a fetish, your view of a woman is already tunnel-visioned, hyperfocused on one body part. If your fetish gets even more specific, then even your hyperfocus has become hyperfocused.

    You just need to get yourself out of this rabbit hole, because like you say, it's getting in the way of what matters. The fact that you're cognizant of that is a good sign. Just think, how will you feel years down the road if you've parted ways with a woman you love because her feet were small? Right now is the time to take action, and take your destiny into your own hands. Your battle is not as much to *do* anything, but rather to stop doing some things.
     
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  3. Hao93

    Hao93 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your answer!
    So i will continue to NoFap and hope this fetish specificafions that is in my brain already will be cured, and yes if i would brake up with her because of this fetish specifications i would hate myself for rest of the life... I hope i can get rid of it and make it back to normal.

    Now I also remember that her feet in first months of our relationship was attractive and now its like less attractive. We had some crisis in the past and i went more into PMO and maybe thats why it changed.
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2019
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  4. Hao93

    Hao93 New Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday at my evening something special happens to me, something big!

    It is my 14 day with no PMO, before i started it i tried many many times to stop PMO in my life. I think im fighitng with this for 1 year, because for almost 10 years i didnt recognize this as a problem. I wasnt conscious...

    So back to the topic... Yesterday at evening I started my meditation and I also pray with my Girl. And i felt something inside, something big! I've seen images about me and her in bed ;) It was so so exciting and i felt big deposits of positive energy. At one moment she started to be more attractive to me like before PMO did this shit to me. Next I even dream about us, and in the morning she is always in my mind and i cant stop thinking about her!

    I think now im on good way to bring back normal feelings and finally to be happy without any stupid crazy stuff in my brain :)
     
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  5. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

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    Awesome news. I am glad to hear it. I hope that the two of you can stay together in that healthy and spiritual place :)
     
  6. Mattybnewme

    Mattybnewme Fapstronaut

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    Yeah dude quit this shit and your ladys feet will be the most beautiful feet in the world Im sure.
     
  7. Hao93

    Hao93 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello, it's me again :)

    I want to share my experience so it is what it is:

    From December of 2019 i started to struggling against PMO sometimes i stay strong for a month and sometimes i relapse after a week.
    But something changed and from February to now i didnt even once masturbate to Porn or have an orgasm but not all is colorfull. Sometimes im edging and start watching Porn because im kinda curious or i just want to see some other girls feet.

    Also i tried hard mode but sometimes we create a situations that we couldnt resist and we have a good sex.

    In the end i feel so so so much better than when i was at the start of the route or when i was doing PMO very often.

    But i have still one issue. Preferences of my foot fetish didnt completly disapear... I like more kind of feet now but still have an a little obsession about the bigger sizes and shapes, i mean sizes like 10-12 us.

    So i wonder is that was porn seduced or just my personal natural prefferences? What you guys think about it?
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2020

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