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Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by kadiri007, Oct 31, 2014.
how can and get rid of this fetish?, am always looking at feet in public and I need some advice
Having a foot fetish is normal for a lot of guys. Unfortunately, I do not think you can get RID of this fetish. Men enjoy female body parts, others appreciate other females parts. Do not feel like you different or apart from other guys.
Anyways to deal with your temptation to look at female feet in public, I recommend you take a book with you everywhere you go. There is definitely nothing wrong with reading! Keep yourself busy on your phone with fun games. Keep reminding yourself why it is that your trying to beat PMO (or whatever your goals in life are).
Hope that helps at all. Good luck
thanks man, i'll give it a go, This is really affecting my education, that's why am trying to quit as I heard about the good things about NoFap, hope the benefits work
I think this is great advice. If you find that it continues to be a problem, a good sex therapist could help. Like our man said, this is a common fetish, so a good therapist would definitely have experience helping people who suffer because of it. It's hard to find a good sex therapist, they're expensive, and it can be intimidating to go to one, but likely worth it for many people. Good luck.
A foot fetish has only 2 disadvantages.
1. Females that will be disgusted about it / not accepting it are existing.
2. Triggers. Triggers everywhere, at every time.
The rest about this fetish is kinad positive...I don't see a reason to get rid of it, but if you really want to, I think you could talk to a therapist.
Don't make fetish out of your fetish In other words: focus on bigger picture, i.e. nofap, reboot, sexual abstinence until marriage, etc. This will require of you to change your lifestyle and develop new good habits ... all the usual advice. For some, their fetishes never go away but their importance subsides ...
I love feet too , they can be very beautiful
Don't try to get rid of your fetish. Its part of you, you had it before the PMO cycle started.(its not porn induced). When you get your reboot, you can enjoy your fetish whit a partner. Untill then stay strong.
Its usually not to do with PMO, but can be accelerated by it.
If you really want to get rid of it then its often to do with psychodynamics and reaction formations, you need a good therapist who you can discuss your sexual development with.
TBH it is a variant of sexuality but it often reflects at some level a response to some problem or at least aberration. Overall its quite normal to have in some people but the line between normal and abnormal is difficult, and depends on the context of the relationship. The best way to look at it is that it is ok as long as its not the only thing you are attracted to and your partner is ok with it, and her desires and needs are also being met. Kind of like a "background" thing that enters the relationship with good results from time to time, accepted by both in the relationship. Excessive focus on it reflects a deeper abberation and unmet psychodynamic need, this stuff is complicated and best parsed out with a therapist.
As for relation to PMO, obviously feet are a trigger when your sexuality has been pathologised with porn. Normally the female body should not be a serious trigger for acting out, this is a normal healthy sexuality. You feel attraction and arousal but let it pass. With PMO addiction seeing a female body creates a pathologial cascade that needs work to meditate yourself through. Yes limiting trigger input is one thing by having a book and keeping your gaze away from feet, but it is also another to rewire after your reboot so that just seeing feet isnt enough to make you start going into PMO fantasies. After all, the feet are an attractive part of a female (I love feet as well ) and it is in a way part of your undelrying normal sexuality to see them attractive.
In sum - while rebooting - stay away and meditate if you get any fantasies or urges. Would really only consider rewiring once in a committed relationship.
On yourbrainonporn, one guy exactly talked about how he got rid of his foot-fetish by No-PMOing, so it can be done.
Maybe you'll never lose the preference, as I don't think I'll lose my preference for big boobs.
But certainly, a NoFap journey will decrease your constant focus on it, and just enjoy it with the girls you get intimate with.
Could I have link please if possible
It's not a thread I can link to, but a presentation made by Gary Wilson (the guy behind YBOP).
If you check the site, or even search here on NoFap, I'm sure you can find similar experiences.
It's min 16:02:
Lots of different opinions on this thread. Here's mine:
I don't believe anyone is born being into feet, bdsm or any other kind of fetish. They are a result of your brain trying to get new stimuli to get aroused. Regular just isn't good enough any more for your body.
When you do a reboot, your brain will return to its natural state, being aroused by normal things. My reboot isn't finished yet, but I already feel the difference. I used to be really into big boobs. I couldn't pmo to girls with anything less than a C cup and even in real life I would not start a relationship with a girl who had anything less than a C, even if I liked her a lot. What feet are to you, big boobs were to me.
Tomorrow will be the 75th day of my reboot and I already have changed a lot. I'm no longer fixated on this one body part. I'm not even fixated on just the physical anymore, I want to really get to know a girl. What I'm trying to say is that you can get rid of your fetish. I'm 100% sure of it, but you'll need to do a full reboot.
I think that depends on how deep is that fetish/reward wired in your brain. There's an awesome book on human sexual behavior called A Billion Wicked Thoughts (I highly recommend it) that mentions this issue.
Among many other things, it explains how many men have really weird stuff imprinted in their brains as arousing, even non-sexual stuff and situations although that's not that common, just because they had a really shocking sexual experience with it when they were little.
So I guess it depends if you created that fetish out of many years of porn, if it's just a general preference, your childhood experiences, and many more things.
But definitely I think, no matter what, it can be corrected by doing the right things, like we aim to achieve on here.
I hope I get to that point too, because I'm all for big boobs now...
This guy's got it all.
I'm.. whatever my counter says, I think 82 days in or 83. I perceive girls differently, a lot more different than before. Physicality isn't a key factor anymore. Big boobs? So what? Nice feet? Yeah. Cool I care for the girl, her personality, her interests.. I think about it a lot nowadays. The point is I don't judge a girl upon her looks instantaneously. Judging a book by its cover isn't worth it in this case. There is so much more.
I honestly think it's better than an ass fetish; which is me of course. And like you said, seeing girls who have nice asses or nice feet in public or for your case, is very tempting. I wouldn't take it so hard man. After being a member of NoFap since June/July, I'm slowly starting to get my mind off it because of all that I've learned with porn and its negative effects. I think someone mentioned, think of them as a whole person. Distract your attention from their feet; maybe they also have nice eyes, a nice personality, nice hair, nice smile, and so on. Just keep at it man. Good luck!
I too have a foot fetish Kadiri. I noticed that it has faded as with my libido, but I still find that my brain is just completely wired to focus on that body part before almost everything else. It is pure habit. I think that given time perhaps this might change if you want it to. But as others suggest, maybe its about keeping it tucked away until the porn side of it is gone out of your life, and you can potentially find someone in real life to share it with?