For any parents out there

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. After having read several posts here on NoFap about how sex ed and porn can be related, I felt like I should do a post specifically on this topic.

    For any parents out there, please do your kids a favor, and teach them about what porn can do as part of sex ed. Although my parents did give me sex ed, they never taught me about what porn can actually do. Maybe it's because they didn't know, or maybe it's because they didn't want to talk about it. Regardless, you have the opportunity to do things differently. Look where I ended up as a result of not being taught, I'm seventeen and struggling to stay away from porn and it's probably changed my life forever.

    And guess what, porn isn't going anywhere, and it's just going to become more readily available and more extreme, so we have to start educating on it. If we don't, we're going to have a serious epidemic on our hands here really quickly, as if we don't have enough of one already.

    If I ever have kids, you can be sure that porn will be a part of sex ed for them. I'll tell them about the negative effects that porn can have on you, and how it can change your life for the worse. Masturbating I'll leave up to them, but I'll warn them not to let it become an obsession. I still believe that masturbating in moderation is a normal and natural part of sexuality as long as you aren't addicted like most of us here are, probably because of porn.

    Please, have some sense, and don't let your kids fall into the trap that is porn!

    Thanks for reading this long post. I hope it'll at least reach a few of you.
     
  2. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Well said! I didn't have any sort of talk when I was younger, either because we're religious or despite the fact, depending which way you want to look at it. I often wonder why my parents never gave me such a talk. I assume they felt I and my siblings could handle ourselves in the virtual world. Just to be on the safe side, they got an internet blocker when I was in 9th grade, though sadly it was already too late for me...
     
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  3. That's absolutely right. I'll never use an internet blocker if I have kids, instead I'll actually take the time to be a parent and help them to make informed decisions. My parents tried using an internet blocker, but I always found a way around it, not because of porn, just because I was curious about what was out there and available to me. They eventually just gave up on the blocker.

    The ninth grade is already way too late. Most kids are first exposed to porn between the ages of ten and eleven, and that holds true for me. I had already started getting into porn by fifth grade. I know that if I ever have kids, they will be exposed to porn regardless of how many blockers or whatever else I put in place. That's where having the discussion with them comes in, so that when it does happen they will have the ability to make an informed decision.
     
  4. The problem is that many parents don't educate their kids on this topic at all and expect the schools to do it (in America at least). There is already an epidemic and will continue as long as parents don't teach their kids about sex and leave it up to the government to teach them. It should also be done fairly early on as kids are exposed to it quite early, a lot earlier than sex ed classes are taught.
     
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  5. Exactly. It's ignorance, and that's all it is. They all think that their kid knows better just like with everything, when rarely is that the case. :rolleyes:

    No, it's not the job of the government or anyone else to teach your kids about sex for you. I don't get it. Who would want that? That I think should be a private, and even ongoing conversation between a parent and their kid. It's not necessarily an all-in-one 'sex talk' kind of thing, you want to keep that discussion going as they get older. Personally, I think if you give your kid just one big sex talk, it's just going to be unnecessarily awkward for both of you and it's going to give them the impression that you're not actually open to discussing it, like you just want to get it over with. That's what it did to me.

    My parents talked to me about sex and masturbating but they never said a whole lot about porn until I was a lot older other than 'don't look stuff like that up'. They said that during the talk probably because they knew I had. Let's just say that I didn't know how to clear history back then. :oops: Of course, eleven year old me took that as well they're just saying that because I'm a kid, and in a way I think I was kind of right.

    That being said, please just teach your kids about porn and sex. Don't let the government or anyone else do it for you. That would be much appreciated. :cool::rolleyes:
     
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  6. I agree. I think it is also important that the parents also give a good example of what it means to be a family and show love towards one another in front of the kids like kiss and hugging. The problem with having a sex talk with the kids is just because you tell them that porn is bad doesn't mean they will listen to them if the kids don't think their parents know what they are talking about. My parents told me but it made me want to do it more. If they are good examples of a loving relationship and the kids can see it, the kids will more likely believe what the parents say regarding the matter. It seems easy but families these days are the opposite of "loving". They divorce much more quickly and they have kids very young when they themselves don't even know what it means. A mature loving relationship is the only time a kid should be brought into the world.
     
  7. That I completely agree on. That's something that I'm fortunate that my parents did express to me. They taught me what a relationship is supposed to look like, and that's probably one of the few things I'll be able to grasp onto as I escape from this PMO disaster.

    And yes I agree, a mature loving relationship is a must if you're going to have kids. You have to be in it for the long haul, and there's no backing out of that.
     
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  8. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for posting this.
    I have 2 boys 16 and 15. I have sat them down twice and told them it’s natural to be curious and such...... and you will be exposed to pornography by their friend......
    BUT it is very very dangerous because first of all, that is a terrible example of sex,...... that is not what real sex is..... it should be living etc. Second, many young men become addicted and face erectile problems.

    What else do you suggest I add to this? My boys are so smart and kind and polite, and I am so terrified they fall into this trap.

    What other things can I tell my boys?

    I try to stay sex positive...... so they don’t feel ashamed if they are curious.

    But if anybody out there has something to add..... like....” I wish my parents told me this.....”
    Please let me know!!!!!!
    Thank you
     
  9. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Also....... do you all think this would be more effective coming from a dad?
    Just wondering. (Obviously I’m a mom)
     
  10. I'll think on your question of things to add, and I'll let you know as soon as I think of anything. As far as this question though, yes I think it would definitely be more effective coming from a dad since they're both boys and guys tend to look up particularly to other guys, like their dad.
     
  11. ReclaimingControl80

    ReclaimingControl80 Fapstronaut

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    Excellent post LeonardoDavinci and well said! As much as I would give for porn to completely disappear, this just isn't practical as we live in an over sexualized society and technology will continue to evolve. Parents, regardless of whether they themselves once had issues with porn, need to be up front and frank with their children about what porn is, how easy it is to become addicted and the harm that it causes us all, especially in rewiring our brains and giving us a false representation as to what sex & love between a couple is. Very sorry to hear that this issue began for you while still in elementary school, but VERY proud of you for realizing you have a problem and getting help! You're still very young and remember that it's NEVER too late to deal with this and work to getting it out of your life for good! My own issues began when I was in my early 30s and here I am in my late 30s dealing with this. Be definition, I'm not old either, but still am EXTREMELY proud of you for taking care of this now, before you get married or have any children.
     
  12. Ajikan

    Ajikan Fapstronaut

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    Great post. The young generation needs to be taught about the dangers of porn.
    Some people don't understand how it messes up your brain and dopamine receptors
     
  13. Thanks! Next year is my senior year of high school. :eek: I didn't expect these last three years to go by as fast as they did. Nothing can make you want to get yourself together and figure out what you're even doing with your life like realizing that you're going to become an adult in less than a year. So, I'm taking summer break to do everything I can--including NoFap--to make that transition even a little easier. :D
     
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  14. That's exactly right. There's the problem right there, I would say that most people don't understand what porn can do to your brain. It's because it causes harm slowly and over time. These are the things that tend to slip past people's ideas of what's 'unsafe'.

    Here's an example. Cigarette smoking. There was a time when people thought that not only was it okay, but that it might be healthy. Why? Because there wasn't any way to immediately see the effects. It does damage slowly over time. Those are the most dangerous kind of things. But, as time went on, people started to realize that it wasn't so good after all when people started having some pretty horrific side effects from it. I think the same thing is beginning to happen with porn. People are starting to become more aware of what it can do.
     
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  15. Ajikan

    Ajikan Fapstronaut

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    This is true. Eventually people will be forced to realize how dangerous porn is.
     
  16. Naranja Mecánica

    Naranja Mecánica Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation is not exactly natural. Our brain works finding symbolism and paterns everywhere. Masturbation is definitely not as bad as porn, but it still trains your brain to having orgasm alone, rewarding yourself for nothing among other things. Your semen and your orgasm are for reproduction and when you throw them away for pleasure, your're not only rewarding yourself for nothing, but you're also throwing away your genetic material that should otherwise be impregnating a woman. Your brain takes note of this and you could eventually develop resentment, bitterness and even depression because for everytime you do that your brain knows there's someone else having actual sex, which turns you (at least subconsiously) in the beta. That with the fact that being horny makes you more competitive and helps you achieve more things. Subconciously, you know that the harder you work on every aspect of your life, the better mate you will be able to get. But if you're already getting the orgasms, you stop caring about that and your motivation goes down.

    I know that this might not be the case for everyone. But I know that masturbation is not good under any circumstance.
     
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