The truth of the matter in my case seems very grim. Ten years sexless and wasted because he loves porn more than me. He's been kicked out numerous times during these years, but I am disabled by depression and can barely take care of myself. This has caused me to ask for help, even after 3 months of no contact. He'll come back and I'll explain this addiction needs to stop if he's going to stay. He stays so I assume he will, but he never does. I recently asked him to promise he won't watch it anymore. He won't. He has to go. And I don't want him to. I need him, but this relationship is abusive. It's femdom so these retarded whores have him hypnotized into this.
For the men that have successfully quit: How and why did you do it? TIA
I’m not sure if this will help or not but I had a PMO addiction for 25 years that also manifested in chats and virtual infidelity. My wife caught me twice and this second (more recent) time really shook me up.
I read the book the Porn Myth by Matt Frad and it changed my life. I feel disgusted and ashamed for how I used to treat these poor digital prostitutes. I now have a visceral reaction when I think about using porn. If he hasn’t read the book yet, maybe try Audible. Honestly the whole industry is taking advantage of these poor girls and that has been enough for me to stop- so far. My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me and I totally it. I’m doing a reboot on hard mode to take my mind off things and try to reset my brain.
I read the book the Porn Myth by Matt Frad and it changed my life. I feel disgusted and ashamed for how I used to treat these poor digital prostitutes. I now have a visceral reaction when I think about using porn. If he hasn’t read the book yet, maybe try Audible. Honestly the whole industry is taking advantage of these poor girls and that has been enough for me to stop- so far. My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me and I totally it. I’m doing a reboot on hard mode to take my mind off things and try to reset my brain.
Good luck and thanks for the response.
Real Jerry Seinfeld
Fapstronaut
So I've had periods of years where I've not masturbated, currently I'm doing it about once every 2-3 months and not to porn. So I'd say it's not really an addiction for me at this stage, it certainly doesn't feel like one anyway.
The first thing is the desire to quit. Many men want to quit because they feel it is affecting them negatively on a personal level. Maybe it's inducing erectile dysfunction, or contributing to social anxiety, or whatever. There's a lot of information on this site about what porn can do to your brain and the benefits of getting off it. So maybe you need to sell him on the personal risks and benefits if saving the relationship isn't enough of a motivation.
In terms of how I quit, I sort of weaned myself off it. I was doing it like 3 times a day, I cut down to once per day, then every other day, once a week, once a month, etc. In terms of quitting specific types of porn, it might be useful for him to make a promise to himself that if he breaks and uses porn, he won't use THAT porn. He must realise all that stuff is emasculating and embarassing, there must be a level on which he is ashamed and wants to quit.
This isn't everyone's method but it's what would work for me. But you have to want to do it.
The first thing is the desire to quit. Many men want to quit because they feel it is affecting them negatively on a personal level. Maybe it's inducing erectile dysfunction, or contributing to social anxiety, or whatever. There's a lot of information on this site about what porn can do to your brain and the benefits of getting off it. So maybe you need to sell him on the personal risks and benefits if saving the relationship isn't enough of a motivation.
In terms of how I quit, I sort of weaned myself off it. I was doing it like 3 times a day, I cut down to once per day, then every other day, once a week, once a month, etc. In terms of quitting specific types of porn, it might be useful for him to make a promise to himself that if he breaks and uses porn, he won't use THAT porn. He must realise all that stuff is emasculating and embarassing, there must be a level on which he is ashamed and wants to quit.
This isn't everyone's method but it's what would work for me. But you have to want to do it.
I'm still just a newbie to this. but I feel the change already. something in me snapped within the last week, the clarity is already downing in my mind and I know I have the strength to rewire my mind when it comes to sexual energy, desires, and lust. before my relationship I never thought of it as bad or negative. and only during my relationship was it made clear my habits were unhealthy. slowly I started working towards abstinence from PM its difficult for sure but you have to start with acknowledging the problem first, and you really need to want to fix it to make a change.
hhh999
Fapstronaut
I quit porn very successfully. I used to PMO almost every single day, until about a year and a half ago, I saw a video that said that that the reason I don't have a girlfriend might be because of my porn addiction. And just like that, I decided I would never use porn again and, I quit, 100% cold turkey. I had never had a girlfriend before then, and I didn't understand why, so the moment I saw that video, I just KNEW I wouldn't watch any more porn. Quitting porn had revived my long lost hope of getting a girlfriend. Since then, I began to adopt disciplined habits and working on myself a lot more. I eventually met my wonderful girlfriend with whom I'm currently in a loving relationship.
I wish I could tell you I never relapsed, but that's not entirely true. I relapse twice, both within one week of each other. It happened during a rough period when my girlfriend started to unexpectedly and without explanation become very distant, and I, at the moment, mistakenly thought that she had lost interest in me and that the relationship was over. We ended up sorting out the problem (which was causing her to be distant), but I never told her about the relapses or my past porn addiction. Relapsing those two times was probably one of the worst decisions I've made, and I'll have to carry that burden for the rest of my relationship with her (a relationship that I hope lasts for my entire life, considering how wonderful she is). These relapses taught me that, no matter how bad things get, I should never EVER give up on my path to recovery.
That's very good to hear. No doubt your addiction was putting women off. We know. Women's intuition. You're proof of this.