For those of you going through Withdrawal/PAWS

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Big Lebowski said:
One of the worst withdrawals from this shit is Psychomotor Retardation. Anyone else have it? Again, it says that people in benzo withdrawal get this shit. I’ve had this for a year or two. God fucking knows how long it’s going to take me to recover
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Oh,

I have beer thru this for sure. I had to look it up. I didn't know it was called psychomotor retardation. I have had meetings where I have had to process a colleagues simple question for a lot of time before answering.
 
Yea it got really bad for me at one stage. Like I would be having a conversation with someone and their words would go right through me like i'd zone out of the conversation and couldn't process what they said. Speech was all weird and jumbled up and stuttering was a common occurrence, couldn't find the right words. Just felt like a zombie fleeting in life. Good news it does slowly improve, slowly. I'm a lot better now since I made this original post but still have a long way to go after 10+ years and what I feel has been at least 7-8 years with symptoms. I think porn had a grip on me as a youngster now I look back.

Symptoms got worse over the years and I have vivid moments even now thinking back when a new symptom popped up. Like I can clearly remember coming home after a relapse driving in the car with my mum and dad, next thing the phone rings and I couldn't tolerate the sound of the phone ringing it was like overnight light sensitivity and sound sensitivity increased ten fold. Speaking to people over the phone something which I never really had much of a problem with became terrifying.
 
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Big Lebowski said:
Yea it got really bad for me at one stage. Like I would be having a conversation with someone and their words would go right through me like i'd zone out of the conversation and couldn't process what they said. Speech was all weird and jumbled up and stuttering was a common occurrence, couldn't find the right words. Just felt like a zombie fleeting in life. Good news it does slowly improve, slowly. I'm a lot better now since I made this original post but still have a long way to go after 10+ years and what I feel has been at least 7-8 years with symptoms. I think porn had a grip on me as a youngster now I look back.

Symptoms got worse over the years and I have vivid moments even now thinking back when a new symptom popped up. Like I can clearly remember coming home after a relapse driving in the car with my mum and dad, next thing the phone rings and I couldn't tolerate the sound of the phone ringing it was like overnight light sensitivity and sound sensitivity increased ten fold. Speaking to people over the phone something which I never really had much of a problem with became terrifying.
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Oh I can relate. My light and noise sensitivity got so bad that I didn't want to leave the house. I couldn't stand going to restaurants with my family. That has basically subsided now but I'm still having other symptoms.
 
It was severe when I was in my teens right up until 19. For another fours 5 years I was relapsing with symptoms, not many times but every relapse shifted recovery back further and further. I was 3 times a day most days from the age of 15/16 to 19 and I slowed down massively at 20 when symptoms were getting progressively worse.
 
Going through this list of symptoms and realizing that it was why I was feeling horrible is disturbing. I was addicted to videogames and weed but it didn't threaten to destroy my life. I didn't even realize how certain symptoms , like psychomotor retardation (where my concentration in class became virtually non-existent), were all linked to porn addiction. I'm telling you guys, we are at war with the Devil and his demons! Why else is it so painful to give up these vices?!
 
Big Lebowski said:
It was severe when I was in my teens right up until 19. For another fours 5 years I was relapsing with symptoms, not many times but every relapse shifted recovery back further and further. I was 3 times a day most days from the age of 15/16 to 19 and I slowed down massively at 20 when symptoms were getting progressively worse.
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Oh my God, then I'm in big trouble. I've been in 3 or more times a day mode most days for at least 15 years, maybe even 20 altogether. But I do think some symtoms like anxiety, depression can't be only part of PAWS. I believe many of us had some unresolved childhood trauma, causing stress, leading to anxiety and later developing depression. I can can see clearly now that compulsive binge MB and PMO were my coping mechanisms to escape anxiety and depression. Removing PMO fix after long, long years of numbing negative emotions with it, enabled all those buried stressful emotions to reemerge on the surface. That being said I'm not saying all PAWS can be explained by preexisting trauma, long term frequent PMO can f... our brain chemistry by itself for sure.
 
Symptoms got worse over the years and I have vivid moments even now thinking back when a new symptom popped up. Like I can clearly remember coming home after a relapse driving in the car with my mum and dad, next thing the phone rings and I couldn't tolerate the sound of the phone ringing it was like overnight light sensitivity and sound sensitivity increased ten fold. Speaking to people over the phone something which I never really had much of a problem with became terrifying.
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I have this too sometimes man...
Also that a sound keeps ringing in my head. The sound keeps repeating in my head. Not literally though. Feels like my head is a giant gong that resonates when someone suddenly raises their voice or puts down a glass hard on the table etc...
Not always though.. It comes and goes. And if I focus on it, it tends to keep ringing in my head longer than when I don't
 
Big Lebowski said:
Once symptoms show up you need to stop as they get worse and worse and push back recovery even further and that’s what I did.

I feel much better when I started this run of recovery though, much better.
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It was a high average of consumption. But when did you start to improve the fog?
 
Big Lebowski said:
I just wanna say I love you guys. This is the hardest shit I’ve ever gone through. Started no pmo five years ago. Since I properly researched the PAWS connection and the symptoms that came with it and they match mine too a tee, I’ll never watch porn again.

Withdrawal symptoms have got worse but I’ll go through hell if I have to too get rid of them.

All the best to you guys.
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Hi Big Lebowski (and anyone following thread),

I have been off porn for 5 years now. I occasionally masturbate, probably once a month.

When I was watching porn it would be at least everyday and sometimes twice a day for approx ten years.

I am still suffering from depression, anxiety and all sorts of mental anguish.

Is it possible that I am suffering from PAWS, even 5 years after quitting porn?

Let me know guys.

Thanks
 
gary111 said:
Hi Big Lebowski (and anyone following thread),

I have been off porn for 5 years now. I occasionally masturbate, probably once a month.

When I was watching porn it would be at least everyday and sometimes twice a day for approx ten years.

I am still suffering from depression, anxiety and all sorts of mental anguish.

Is it possible that I am suffering from PAWS, even 5 years after quitting porn?

Let me know guys.

Thanks
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What sort of symptoms you having Gary? I dont know mate. 5 years is a long time. Do you have any underlying problems you havent resolved? Have you noticed any benefits in five years?
 
gary111 said:
Hi Big Lebowski (and anyone following thread),

I have been off porn for 5 years now. I occasionally masturbate, probably once a month.

When I was watching porn it would be at least everyday and sometimes twice a day for approx ten years.

I am still suffering from depression, anxiety and all sorts of mental anguish.

Is it possible that I am suffering from PAWS, even 5 years after quitting porn?

Let me know guys.

Thanks
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Did you have PIED? If so do you still have it?
 
Does anyone of you sometimes have a problem with fantasizing? I mean fantasizing and imagining what you want to happen. Sometimes it is very tough for me because it happens, for example, when nothing gives me pleasure. Sometimes I fantasize about women who I like but not sexually. It just happens when I get infatuated. I am addicted to caffeine and it happens to me when I have a worse day, regardless of the consumption of coffee, and sometimes when I lack stimulus e.g coffee. It's tough because sometimes I have no desire to do anything and instead of thinking about what's here and now, I think about a nicer future. Sometimes I have no problem with it.
 
Anyone has this weird dizziness where it feels like you are constantly being pushed around by other people from side to side? I think it differs from a regular dizziness in that I can stand on either leg for long periods of time and have a decent balance, but I can't properly think and have a hard time to concentrate because of it. I can totally relate it to being an issue with porn. Every time I've watched porn dizziness fades for a day but returns worse after that. This has to stop, it's ruining my life.
 
muted said:
Does anyone of you sometimes have a problem with fantasizing? I mean fantasizing and imagining what you want to happen. Sometimes it is very tough for me because it happens, for example, when nothing gives me pleasure. Sometimes I fantasize about women who I like but not sexually. It just happens when I get infatuated. I am addicted to caffeine and it happens to me when I have a worse day, regardless of the consumption of coffee, and sometimes when I lack stimulus e.g coffee. It's tough because sometimes I have no desire to do anything and instead of thinking about what's here and now, I think about a nicer future. Sometimes I have no problem with it.
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Did you finish rebooting by now?
How many days you have by now?
 
ArduousPath said:
Anyone has this weird dizziness where it feels like you are constantly being pushed around by other people from side to side? I think it differs from a regular dizziness in that I can stand on either leg for long periods of time and have a decent balance, but I can't properly think and have a hard time to concentrate because of it. I can totally relate it to being an issue with porn. Every time I've watched porn dizziness fades for a day but returns worse after that. This has to stop, it's ruining my life.
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Yeah it is a part of withdrawal symptoms. You need to stop pmo completely for a full reboot.
 
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