Found out my husband sent my pictures to his co worker. Is this common

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Pepper2, Apr 6, 2021.

  1. Pepper2

    Pepper2 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello partners,

    I have posted once here before but deleted out of embarrassment of sexually explicit details so here I am again.

    I grabbed my husbands cell phone after a fight ( I never bother going through it anymore because its pointless when everything is wiped clean)

    However for some reason I typed in wife and his text message popped up and he sent a guy he works with my pictures, one was me nude in my bedroom.. I was able to show my mom & sisters because it was tasteful not trashy (they think it’s beautiful but twisted of him)

    I’m in shock. Most of the stuff wouldn’t shock me but this absolutely did. I can’t face his work again. They are all males. I feel so violated.

    What is he doing? Is this common?

    I went thru his reddit last year and there was “wifesharing” and “my hot wife” subreddits among all the other stuff in history but I believed him when he said he didn’t type those in, they just pop up in reddit with other NSFW stuff . At the time I thought he was looking to see what else is out there. Now I feel horrible, he could have put me out there or comparing me to all that crap. So apparently porn and your wife are not separate

    What’s next? I’m still in shock like “no, not my husband “. That was a glimpse of a cell phone before it was ripped from my hands.

    I just gave him a fresh start (again) a couple weeks ago.

    Thank you for reading I’m very confused as I write this.
     
  2. thegeneral

    thegeneral Fapstronaut

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    Shit, so he may have shared your nudes publicly on reddit? How tf are you getting back with someone like that? It's not normal for a guy in an adult relationship to do that. Guys in the high school I went to used to share their girlfriends' nudes, and I thought it was pretty disgusting then, so it's definitely not normal for a married man to do that.

    Guy may have a secret fetish he has not shared with you. But I'll be damned if it's ever ok to share intimate photos with someone outside the relationship.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2021
  3. Pepper2

    Pepper2 New Fapstronaut

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    He claims because I was “on the internet in a thong bikini in live motion” it’s absolutely no different.

    I did bodybuilding bikini show, I took the pictures down but it is a bodybuilding organization with a stage and professional camera man. It was up no matter what.

    I have never given a man over the internet a personal picture though. Especially no clothes on. Never.

    I have no idea what else he could have shared. Any opinions?
     
  4. thegeneral

    thegeneral Fapstronaut

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    That's like saying all the girls on the beach are essentially betraying their partners by allowing other people to see their bodies. Complete rubbish and deflection, so don't fall for that. Nudes are intimate photos. I'm into bodybuilding as well, so I know what you are saying. It's not the same thing to be on stage, and be in your bedroom taking an intimate photo.

    I wouldn't worry about what else he shared unless it was public and had your face in it. Don't go down that thought loop, because the facts don't change: People saw things they that were not meant for their eyes.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2021
  5. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    One of the so’s husband secretly recorded her, she found hidden cameras. It’s an escalation of their addiction. I’m so, so dirty this has happened to you. I think you need to decide if you can stay with someone who had publicly shared nude pics of you and if you do decide to do that you really need to start implementing strong boundaries of what you can and cannot accept.
     
  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Sorry** this happened not dirty!
     
  7. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    Umm yeah that is definitely not normal, in any scenario. I think sharing your girlfriends nudes is pretty f'ed up like someone else said let alone your wife's. I'd be fuming. Is he worth the fresh start? Like that seems like a hard line that shouldn't be crossed.
     
    EyesWideOpen likes this.
  8. thegeneral

    thegeneral Fapstronaut

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    Secret cameras, holy shit
     
    Slimjimjones likes this.
  9. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    You can edit it lol, but that's what porn does to a mf.
     
  10. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    I’m not a porn addict. I’m just terrible with tech.
     
  11. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    Sorry I was referring to your camera story
     
  12. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Oh! Lol. Yeah that’s true. Addiction escalate to things one never thought they would do
     
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  13. thegeneral

    thegeneral Fapstronaut

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    But that far tho? Holy fuck I thought I heard it all
     
  14. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    You think that’s bad? You don’t think people escalate to rape, abusing children, abusing animals? To sex with the same sex even though they are heterosexual. Addiction will take you to the depths of depravity, any addiction can do this. Attend an saa meeting and you will find all of the above escalations.
     
  15. thegeneral

    thegeneral Fapstronaut

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    Kinda scary. I wouldn't want to hear about that stuff. I would be genuinely fearful
     
  16. brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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    Smh. Sounds like he’s into cuckold fantasy.
     
  17. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    You should not do that. A cellphone is part of his intimacy and you are not allowed to do that.

    That's something you just don't do when you respect a person.

    I work with software... he definitevely surf thru that content. Maybe he share you pictures online or not... but if he send it to his friend you he is capable of doing so.

    This has nothing to do with porn.

    The way you are telling this is that he keeps disrespecting you over and over again.

    You have to make a choice, acept him the way he is and keep dealing with all his crap and disrespect to you or stand up for what you want and dump his ass and go and look for a man that have his shit together, he definitevely is not that guy.
     
  18. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    Having a wife sharing kink is OK. thinking your wife is hot is good. Bragging about how hot your wife is, is debatable depending on context. Sharing a nude photo of your wife without her permission is not OK.
     
  19. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    It is not common and it is not okay. It is a gross violation of your privacy and your trust. It is also emotional and sexual abuse. You have done nothing wrong by looking at his phone. This would be a deal breaker for me. What is your next step?
     
  20. I'm so sorry this happened. You have every right to feel completely violated. Although I've heard of this happening a couple times, I do not think it's common, even amongst P addicts. Did he have anything to say when you saw what he had shared?

    I agree with @EyesWideOpen that you are not the one who did anything wrong. You deserve to know the truth, especially about something like this, and when addicts repeatedly lie and break your trust, sometimes the only way you will ever get the truth is to find it yourself. Generally, the ones who think you're "not allowed to do that" are the lying addicts themselves because they want to deflect the focus of wrongdoing onto you. Again, I'm sorry you're going through this.
     

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