Friday's are the worst...

Here I am posting again, this is my third post, I'm still relatively new to the community. I first want to say how grateful I am for the community, it has been beyond helpful. You guys are the best, and I don't think you guys know how truly great you are.
I have been on hard mode since January 11th and I absolutely love the person I am becoming. I go to sleep each night feeling like I have control over my self, or at least the foundations of control. It's a start. Where I am struggling tonight is with loneliness, which always seems to hit me hardest on Friday nights. I guess its because Friday night is the international date night, I don't know exactly why, but Fridays are always a source of great loneliness, and loneliness I would say is my greatest trigger to engage in the fap. Do others on here find that certain days or times of the week are more difficult?
This brings me to the next topic of discussion, girls. I have for a very long time wanted a solid relationship and have always viewed fapping well porn more specifically as the main obstacle to that, which I still believe it is, but now that I have been PMO free coming up on 2 months I'm starting to realize I may have deeper problems, or personality problems. Where I'm struggling here is deciding for my self what came first the chicken or the egg? Like are these deeper problems or problems with my personality what led me to seek out PMO, or do these problems exist because of PMO or as a symptom of PMO. For example something I'm dealing with tonight as we speak is obsessive thoughts over one girl. I went out with this girl two weeks ago this Tuesday (she actually asked me out) and I am genuinely interested, but I'm beginning to think about her way to much. I am beginning to follow what she does on social media a little to much. I am beginning to feel almost an odd desperation that some how if her and I dont end up together all will be lost. These feelings I know, and I have identified as problematic and I'm going to work on them, even if that means deleting social media. I guess what I'm asking is have you guys ever felt this way? Is this type of obsession unique to me and my personality, or is it in your opinions a symptom of my years of P abuse? Does that make sense? It's kinda crazy to me how much of this NoFap journey has become cerebral for me, but in a way I guess that makes sense, I'm literally using my frontal cortex to override my limibc system. That's pretty cool. Anyway I hope that made sense and I do look forward to know what you guys might think about this loneliness/ obsession/ desperation problem.

 

WOW this was profoundly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing that.

 

Okay, that's scary to me. A relapse after a 100 days streak? Then again thank you for sharing, I think thats really good info and a good reminder for me to always remain focused. I appreciate it.