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From religious, straight innocent guy to Pervert...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Nov 18, 2020.

  1. Hello Everyone. First, sorry for my terrible English, but i think you will understand it.
    I was religious and very good guy 3 years ago. Even i was virgin and i was saving my first time for my future love (wife)... i watched porn and masturbated, but only straight porn, and everything was okay, healthy. I mean, just opening porn site, searching for pretty porn stars for fast fap. Mostly i watched lesbians, because no men in there. ( when i see penis i try to not look, and turn the page down fast, i hated it). One day, again i was in heat and i decided to throw this from my body. I opened porn site, and searched. Suddenly i saw a woman with Santa hat and with penis. Clicked on it just for curiosity... I see a human with boobs and with penis + pretty face. she was masturbating, and i don't know why but i liked it, maybe because she was not a man. ( yes biologically man, but transformed and completely looks like woman ) This is when our brain gets tricked. After i masturbated to this transgender video, past two weeks and this video come to my brain again, this time i searched transgenders, i scrolled page to search for most feminine ones, this is how my transgender addiction started. There was times when i stop it for couple weeks, scolding myself, but starting again. I lost my virginity to prostitute, no romance, no love ((( just sex... i had sex with transgenders too. And guess what, after some time this transgenders less interesting for me, i needed new things to get hyped. After transgender addiction i got femboy addiction ( cute boys with long hairs without breasts), i started to like man penis. Then i dig more in this dark porn web site, and i got new addiction - incest. I started to like ideas of stealing panties of family members or other females. I did steal pantie just one time. After this: bestiality - I liked horses especially. And last pervert thing is where i stopped myself, this is cuckoldry. i was getting erectile disfunction and searching for something new, and ended up watching to someones wife getting ****'ed in front of husband. This was very naughty and turned me on, but bro this is where i stopped myself, because i scared what will happen if in the future i will get addicted to this and do same to my wife? this is not okay. after couple cuckold videos i stopped it. i think this is the limit, and thanks to GOD i find this site, i started this year, failed 50 times maybe, updated my masturbating date in this site everytime when i failed. But finally its almost 90 days - No porn no masturbating. Guys you know what? i hate all this addictions now, im no more pervert, finally i can feel love against women, finally butterflies can fly in my stomach when i fall in love with women, im feeling this amazing thing again. Im not more thinking with my penis, no more thinking about sex - when i see living thing. When i see woman, no more i think about: oh i would **** this girl in this positions. All of this pervy addictions fall from my mind day by day. First i get cured from cuckoldry, incest, bestiality then homosexuality and others. Again sorry for my terrible English, i wanted to share everything in my chest. Currently my mind very healthy, going to gym, working feeling amazing and natural - 100% like real man, now i think i deserve to marry a good girl and finally be a good father. Don't even watch to normal porn... One day you will get bored and search for new things, and end up like me. Thanks.
     
    jackyted, Deddog, PeterNF.01 and 4 others like this.
  2. Marcothebest_1995

    Marcothebest_1995 Fapstronaut

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    Hey mate, it's ok. Now you are here, now you've been 85 days without watching that shit and doing something not pure. I understand your being uncomfortable with what you were before. Say "thank you" to that feeling because it has brought you here on NoFap.
    I am sure that we have accepted you despite all your sins and whatsoever. Here you have me and tons of other brothers who are doing the same thing.
    Continue your healthy lifestyle, get back to the Church or whatever is your religion and you will find your peace.

    I stand by you
     
  3. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    It is good that you come here. One thing you mentioned in this post is I think the key to your problem. You started with regular and lesbian porn and described it as "everything was ok". Although those types of porn are better than animal sex and cuckoldry they aren't good. Technically speaking straight porn is a type of cuckoldry. I can related to the line that you watched lesbian porn because you didn't want to see penises. I did the same thing when I started watching porn. It quickly went to me watching femdom. Now I can't watch porn that doesn't evolve me being submissive to a woman (except occasionally I'll still watch lesbian porn). Again I am glad you are here. Put your trust in God. He is the best of the planners.
     
  4. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    Warning well offered.

    Thank you and good luck.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    From the title I wasn't expecting happy ending, but I am very glad it turned out that way. Good job and God bless you!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Survival 3 Man

    Survival 3 Man Fapstronaut

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    Well done remember your never out of the woods it time to follow Jesus Christ he help you remove lustful desires and find a good woman.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Deddog

    Deddog Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story, it's terrifying how deep we can get dragged in this swamp, just one look at something new P related can lead to a rollercoaster ride full of depravation with no brakes whatsoever. Keep up the good fight!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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