From YBOP & YBR to here

From my YBR Journal http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=12232.msg210765#msg210765 started on August 15th.

Up until about 5 years ago (at age 40) all was well. Then one day I had a prostate infection and that is when I started my battle with ED. The doctor said after I go through the month supply of antibiotics I would be back to normal. It never happened so he put me on Viagra. I got to a point where dating seemed not possible given my ED. Then a few years later I decided to start dating again but taking Viagra ahead of time has its challenges. During a checkup my doctor suggested taking Cialis 5mg daily dose. That took the anxiety away from having to take Viagra ahead of time. Just prior to and up to now I was using P when I was alone, dating or not. Within the last 2 weeks I have been reading about P induced ED and it is starting to make sense given I can achieve a partial erection without drugs. Looking back I am starting to better understand the lack of excitement with sex and other things that should excite me. This is because of the P. It excites you to a point that nothing else can compete. I tried to M alone without porn and as you can guess, it did not go well as all. So I was reading more about P induced ED and about testing if it is P or not. So the next day I tried again with P and after some effort and a little extra time I was able to achieve an OK erection without drugs. So with that said porn is out. The real challenge is no M. At this point I can only go 2-3 days before I feel I need the release.

So now I am here.

Stopping the porn was easier then stopping Fap. I still get small urges to pop on and look but so far so good. As of today, my ED has significantly improved after 5 years. A few things occurred before I started getting better erections. One was stopping to take Bystolic (taking it the last 18 months) for high blood pressure, 150/100. I can not say if it had an affect or not on my ED. The other was I started taking L-Theanine at night before bed. It can help with blood pressure but it helps relax you too. I have been sleeping very well.

So now the bigger challenge I have been having.....NO FAPPING. It has taking me a few attempts to get to 6 days without Fap. The first time I went 6 days I Fapped for the next 3. Before I found YBOP and YBR I would Fap about every 1-2 days. Now by the 6th day I am so aroused I am going nuts in my own skin. I have a goal of 30 days but for now I am leveled off at once a week until the urge calms down I can go longer. It has been something have I have done for 33 years (age 45) so cold turkey was not an option for me. Mentally I want to stop, but my body just goes crazy like a hormonal teenager. These last few weeks have been strange going from ED to getting erections (without ED meds) and being so aroused more then I have been in years. For the record, my testosterone is around 280. I have read less Fap may improve it.

I truly want to stop and at most Fap once a month. Not all would be Ok with me as well. It has become a time waster.

Any thoughts or words of wisdom would be great. Thanks!

 

No MO is still a challenge. When on a date last night. Had a good time and a good night kiss. Is that a trigger too? Starting over and did not go a week this time. The good news is no porn. I was too turned on and did not need it.

Starting over again.

 

Day 3 again. Hope to get to 10 days. A new record if I make it. Even 7, 8, 9 would be but going for double digits.

Last night had a vivid dream and woke up before it became a wet dream.

This has all been strange at 45.