FRUSTRATION

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    Frustration has led me to porn a million times. The Bible says to "Let your moderation be known to everyone." But I ignore that.
    Frustration rears it's ugly head when we overindulge in greed, selfish ambitions, games and many other things. America pushes us to be rich, successful, and to be a winner. And we need to do it all, with a perfect body. If we buy into what they say, we will be frustrated.
    On the other hand sometimes we get frustrated because we don't do the things we should do. Examples: Not reading the Bible, not praying enough, not paying "any" attention to our finances, and health. Or worse yet, forgetting to treat others with love.
    We know that the Bible wants us to be hot, not lukewarm in our relationship with God. But in some ways the Bible wants us in the middle with many other things. Not greedy, but working to have enough. Not focusing on being # 1, but working to be a worthy Christlike example in everything we do. Not worrying about winning in life, unless it is winning souls or winning in loving others.
    Lastly we get frustrated by unrealistic expectations. We think "The answer" to all of life's problems will be solved by things like:
    1. Pleasure.
    2. Money.
    3. Career.
    4. Education.
    5. Success.
    Nope, Jesus is the answer. Everything else is an empty illusion. But even when we know that, we still may need to cut something huge out of our life to give Him enough room in us.
    And we may need to start doing some of the things we know we should be doing.
    A wise man once said: Identify what frustrates you. Then make the changes and overcome your challenges.
     
  2. XandeXIV

    XandeXIV Fapstronaut

    Great insights, but I propose you reconsider your first sentence and flip the causal process:

    "Porn has led me to frustration a million times"

    This is now my mentality with respect to PMO.

    PMO messes with our reward mechanism - it is dampened so that we are not satisfied by the same amount of dopamine as we were before we started a lifetime of PMO. This means it is harder to be rewarded not only by PMO but by anything.

    I noticed many years ago that frustration when working at home on my own would easily lead me into PMO, multiple times a day. In recent reflections, having learned that PMO is not a release from but the cause of many frustrations, it has led me to review stressful work situations. I encounter a problem at work. My animal desire is to PMO to help me cope and concentrate. But with the knowledge of the above, I quickly realise that all PMO will do is make it worse. If I'm going to get a dopamine hit, then I'm better off triggering that release from the completion of a task, namely the one I'm face with. The pleasure of a PMO response will only be temporary. The pain of a PMO response will have long-lasting effects.


    Consider... why don't we do these things? In a recent relapse I allowed myself to give in on multiple occasions and I lost a lot of time to it.... and this was frustrating! I didn't read my Bible or pray as much as I could. I didn't spend as much time on projects that would help others. I didn't make as much time for others. I was on top of my finances but the relevant tasks were more stressful because I was trying to squeeze them into a schedule I was filling with pointless sexual indulgence.

    My point is, don't think of it as not doing these things leading to frustration and then to PMO.... think of it as PMO leading us to not do things, and then to frustration.
     
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  3. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    I 100% agree that for me p has led to frustration as well and it "always" does. And frustrations with other things are a huge trigger for me. So when I go to war against things that lead to frustration, I can start to stop the mad cycle.
    But I think your comments are just as valuable for quitting. You are noticing the destruction. Noticing that life was way better when we did things God's way - way worse and more frustrating when we chose the wrong path.
     
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  4. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    We pray: “Father, please fix my finances, fix my relationships, fill in the blank with what you want to be fixed today. Then sometimes, the day ends and nothing is fixed.

    We want a perfect life, but if we had one we could never help anyone else. Joseph was thrown in jail, and later he saved the Israelites. I bet Joseph asked God what He wanted when he was thrown into jail. I bet he said, “Your will be done, Lord.” I think he prayed and prayed and was fully in the presence of God because of his response. I think he fully trusted God right at the exact moment when it appeared that God had forsaken him.

    Like Joseph, Job refused to give up on God in his highest moments of frustration. His finances were gone, his important relationships were gone. At his very worst he said, “Blessed be the Name of the Lord.” At the most frustrating part of his life, he refused to give up on God and sin. But Job's story did not end that way. He turned from sin in his frustration, worshiped and praised God, and after a lot of waiting, he was blessed more than ever.

    Last night, I thought I went too far yesterday when I said, “No exceptions to the rule to turn aggressively from sin.” But today in my frustrations I realize, that is exactly what Job would do. That is exactly what Joseph did do.

    When Joseph made no exceptions, a country was saved. When Job made no exceptions he became the most blessed man in the land.

    Today I am frustrated, and today I am going to pray and ask God to fix everything. And if He doesn't fix everything today, I am going to think about Joseph and Job. Think about how they reacted. Think about how their stories ended. Then hopefully I will realize that God has a plan for me. And that if my life is perfect... I probably won't be ready to execute that plan.

    But if my reaction to life's frustrations are correct, my story just might end victoriously as well.
     
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  5. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    6 keys to fighting frustrations that lead to lust

    1. When life is tough (and when it's not), avoid sights and situations that cause lust.

    2. Say no instantly when lust starts. Then decide if you need to go to the verses for quitting to overcome the temptation, or whether it is mild enough for you to fight it off with prayer.

    3. John Piper wrote: “We must stock our minds with the superior promises and pleasures of Jesus. Then we must turn to them immediately after saying, “NO!”

    4. To overcome we must focus on the Word until the Holy Spirit's power takes over.

    5. Piper continues: “Have you fought for joy? Don’t be fatalistic. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart — more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don’t have: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, and look at the most magnificent Person in the universe until you see him the way he is.” Consider praying:

      “Father, show me how to fight for Your joy.”

      “Father, show me how to treasure You.”

    6. Lastly, Piper said: “Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might.”
     
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  6. I'd love the link to where you found these Piper quotes. Sounds like his article might be edifying reading on its own.
     
  7. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    You are going to laugh. I did not add the link because Piper is obviously not a porn addict. In his article, he said we need to say no to a lustful thought within 5 seconds. Any real addict who allows lustful thoughts for 5 seconds has tripled their chance of falling that day. So I changed his 5 seconds to "say no instantly."
    It is a good article, but please ignore anything he says that contradicts the normal protocol that we know we need to have here at Nofap. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/anthem-strategies-for-fighting-lust
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2022
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  8. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    Great observation. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, "One of the greatest mistakes the human heart can make is to see pleasure as a goal of life. Pleasure is the by-product of the fulfillment of duty; it is a bridesmaid, not a bride, it is something that attends and waits on man when he does what he ought."
     
  9. Heh. I know this article and that was my exact same thought. I often tell my fellow addicts that we have more like 1 second to shut stuff down inwardly! :)
     
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  10. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    To fight frustration, study how to be content.

    Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

    Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

    Consider praying: “Father, take away this spirit of lust, and help me to be content.”

    Hebrews 13:5 ESV
    Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

    If money causes you to fall, read this often.

    1 Timothy 6:6-8 ESV
    But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.”

    There are two things listed to do to have great gain. Study this verse and consider praying: “Father, help me to focus on godliness with contentment.”

    2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV
    For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    Psalm 37:16 ESV
    Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked.”

    We have peace and a calm life when we live life God's way.

    Psalm 16:11 ESV
    You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

    Prayers for contentment are prayers to know the path of life. I need nothing but the presence of God.

    Finally, what 3 things are you not content with that you should learn to be content with? When we live life upset at jobs, parents, spouses, and neighbors, (I could list a million things), satan takes that opening and uses discontentment against us to get us thinking about lust.

    Study these verses regularly, and pray often about “what, or who” you need to be content with. Pray often to be content with your current situation.

    Finding contentment takes away one of Satan's favorite weapons.

    For the whole article https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/frustration.321353/
     
  11. EastAnglian

    EastAnglian Fapstronaut

    Wow that is a good quote. Thank you. I spent most of my years as an atheist indulging in cheap pleasure at the expense of pretty much everything. I have no wife, kids, self-worth, career etc. I gave up on my duties as a man - job, family etc - in favour of cheap pleasures and basically wrecked my entire life.

    It is a helpful thing to finally realise and come to terms with. Now I can finally take responsibility by realising that all my problems are my own fault, and that the only way out is Jesus. I have lived a negligent and irresponsible life of sin. Well, I still do. I am struggling to change. It is difficult now.
     
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  12. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    You are not alone. Read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11 but take special note of how the father behaved when the son realized what he truly wanted was to come home. Unlike most humans might do, the father did not hold anything against the prodigal son, instead he welcomed him back and threw a party to celebrate his return.

    God is ready to welcome you back. Heaven is celebrating your return to the Lord. You are truly a new man and you can remain that way as long as you truly desire it with all of your heart. Seek a clean heart. One that no longer desires your old ways and you will be rewarded with true happiness and the self confidence that comes from an existence free of shame and guilt. Welcome to the fold! So very glad to have you here!
     
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