Fuck! how did I end up here again?

Okay so, after about 40 days of retaining my life force, I ended up diving right back into the deep depths of indulgence in masturbating and doing drugs. I don't know where all my will power and control went but unfortunately I snapped and gave back in..... eventually it became a habit again. Most of you would label this as an addiction and I would agree with you. I've seen how it feels when you're keeping yourself together and without a doubt it's far better than the state I am in at the moment. I don't feel bad, I actually feel really good but the point is even tho that all of this a great pleasure and it feels good but it doesn't help me grow. I'm still young and I have lots of space to fill, lots of gains to make and many dreams to live. If I don't stop for good I won't reach my true potential. I've relapsed and ended up living that life again for more than a month now probably 40 straight days so, I guess we're even. Now it's up to me, I've seen both sides pretty well, I'll either decide to stop for good or just to live it out. I prefer stopping and changing my way of living this life for good. A reboot as you would call it or a "nightmare mode". Let's see where this takes me.
I'll be updating soon. Stay hungry until then, PEACE!