Fucked up fantasies :D

Hey guys!
I decided to start disciplining myself. To really push it, do something uncomfortable and change.
I dont think I have porn addiction problem. I dont watch porn daily, but what I do daily is maturbation.
I will go all out and be 100% honest. I dont even use my hands I just lie down on my bed and lets go. I use my fantasy. And it always includes a girl and older guy or guys. And I am as an observer. Thats my thing. In my fantasies the girl is always getting abused in a lot of different ways.

I dont know. I dont think I am the craziest, nor broken in some way, there are definetly worse but it doesnt seem right to me. Even when I was in relationship I always enjoyed when I could spank her, sometimes I fucked her and use my own twisted fantasy to cum.

For me right now. The most important goal is to quit watching porn pictures -> that I do almost daily. Obviously another goal is to not watch porn for 30days. No porn pictures 30days. And at least 1week without masturbation.
I think its better to procceed slightly than try it for 90days when my best result before was like 8days.

Okay boys, thats it for now!