Phil Humble
Fapstronaut
Outwardly, I play the part of a loyal family man: upper middle aged, hard working, moderately successful, dependable, faithful to wife, devoted to adults kids with partners and handful of grandchildren.
Inwardly, I feel rotten to the core, like a shiny apple concealing a nasty grub, eating away at its soul.
A wise old person said that one's true character is only revealed when nobody is watching. So...do you steal $20 from the unattended till? Late at night on a dark deserted street, do you drop litter? During opportune solitude, do you sneak a wafty crank to relieve the boredom?
I promise you, I am neither a thief nor litter bug.
My wife and I are sexually active, though her appetite is less than mine. When active, it's mutually satisfying. But I use the appetite imbalance as an excuse, to myself only, of course. But if I get the timing of PMO wrong - i.e. too close before our next intimacy - then performance impairment and/or anxiety arises.
Just as bad, or possibly worse, is the shame I feel about carrying my dirty secrets. In addition or as a consequence, this is fucking up my life in at least three important areas:
1) Family relationships - I am simply not authentic; quite the opposite, I'm a fraud, portraying Image A while privately living Reality B.
2) Health - I eat and exercise less than healthily, so am about 20 pounds overweight.
3) Work/business - I'm easily distracted and lack focus, resulting in sub-optimal performance and unexploited opportunities (not just financial, but fulfillment too).
So I'm looking to reboot my entire life, without anyone in my life knowing. This is one secret I'm happy with, especially as it's not exactly a secret having shared it here with you.
WHY: Because in 90 days' time (on 22 May 2016), I'll not only be a P-free zone, I'll be 20 pounds lighted, physically fitter, mentally cleansed, several thousand $/£ wealthier, gratifyingly fulfilled in myself, and much better company to family, friends and indeed strangers too.
Inwardly, I feel rotten to the core, like a shiny apple concealing a nasty grub, eating away at its soul.
A wise old person said that one's true character is only revealed when nobody is watching. So...do you steal $20 from the unattended till? Late at night on a dark deserted street, do you drop litter? During opportune solitude, do you sneak a wafty crank to relieve the boredom?
I promise you, I am neither a thief nor litter bug.
My wife and I are sexually active, though her appetite is less than mine. When active, it's mutually satisfying. But I use the appetite imbalance as an excuse, to myself only, of course. But if I get the timing of PMO wrong - i.e. too close before our next intimacy - then performance impairment and/or anxiety arises.
Just as bad, or possibly worse, is the shame I feel about carrying my dirty secrets. In addition or as a consequence, this is fucking up my life in at least three important areas:
1) Family relationships - I am simply not authentic; quite the opposite, I'm a fraud, portraying Image A while privately living Reality B.
2) Health - I eat and exercise less than healthily, so am about 20 pounds overweight.
3) Work/business - I'm easily distracted and lack focus, resulting in sub-optimal performance and unexploited opportunities (not just financial, but fulfillment too).
So I'm looking to reboot my entire life, without anyone in my life knowing. This is one secret I'm happy with, especially as it's not exactly a secret having shared it here with you.
WHY: Because in 90 days' time (on 22 May 2016), I'll not only be a P-free zone, I'll be 20 pounds lighted, physically fitter, mentally cleansed, several thousand $/£ wealthier, gratifyingly fulfilled in myself, and much better company to family, friends and indeed strangers too.