Gay Men's Group

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Blue, Oct 31, 2013.

  1. Marcus86

    Marcus86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys!

    These stories! Thank you so much to share it! I'm so glad that I'm not alone with these issues! I started my journey 10 days ago and it has been hard. I was so close to open cam4, blogs, tumblr-pages etc.. but I take my bicycle and went out. After 30km my mind is luckily more clear and I am so happy what didn't happened.

    Marc
     
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  2. ullfigureitout

    ullfigureitout Fapstronaut

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    I don't think this is a failure and reason to click the reset button, but it's another reminder that I need to reboot. Yesterday someone ( who's inappropriate for me bc it'll never go anywhere) came over & we hooked up. I was pretty much dead down there, same as I had been in past interactions with him. This was frustrating because I didn't want to get topped but wanted to top him. With my dick useless and his not, I had no other choice. I'm vers anyways, and it was phenomenal despite my equipment not working.

    Man, when will I be normal again down there?
     
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  3. Marcus86

    Marcus86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi dudes!

    I just must to share this feeling! I feel so proud myself!! I was at gym and after that getting so freaking horny. My cock was harder than ever and my mind so weak.
    Then I just use couple of times that emergency panic apps and tried to get over it. My flesh want to masturbate so freaking bad but I manage it to don't do that.

    Even now my cock jumping up and down on my pants, but I do not touch!

    That feeling now is so great!! I'm a winner and so proud myself. It is really about fighting and I will fight!
    Thank your stories and support here!

    Cheers! Stay strong!

    Marc
     
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  4. ullfigureitout

    ullfigureitout Fapstronaut

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    Good going, Marc! What are the emergency panic apps?

    You must not be flatlining, that's great!

    I'd say I can be mentally horny, but physically I only get morning wood & not much else.

    The challenge continues.
     
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  5. Marcus86

    Marcus86 Fapstronaut

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  6. ullfigureitout

    ullfigureitout Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the link.

    It's been tricky over the last days. For some reason, people have squeezed out from the woodwork to say they're interested in getting together for sex. While sexually this interests me, I know none of them want anything else. It's difficult to maintain an impenetrable front when I'm feeling lonely.

    The realization that PMO was a coping mechanism strikes hard. Others (straight dudes) have mentioned that they stop seeing women as objects after they stop PMOing. It's so difficult in this culture for guys (especially non-westerners) to see guys as something more than fuck buddies or beings with whom to have open relationships. So even when I stop seeing guys as objects, I'm still objectified by those I meet (or intend to meet). My PMO increased here (and in S. Europe) bc a relationship with someone compatible seemed beyond reach. To cope with the loneliness, i turned to cam4 and Skype where I always had a bunch of attractive guys to get my urges met.

    work time.
     
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  7. Marcus86

    Marcus86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi

    I feel u totally. PMO to straight dudes is just like u said. It is so hard to stop seeing man as object. As skype I have felt like I'm object to other and looking for attractive object for me to get my urges met. But really loneliness is same same after skype and before to mee.

    Yesterday I thought that some day I will have a man who I love and have sex with true love. He will have smile on the face when we looking for each others. I am really sure that these kind of truly love is existing. And did I really found that on skype or cam4? I'm not sure.

    This culture is way harder about relationship than heteroes. Maybe because peoples looking for fuck buddies on each sides. I think still we can make our life to different. PMO is freaking hard as u said. But I have got little bit more perspective to this thing and I'm started to dreaming something than before it was just dreaming on the porn world. Coz' basically I think it is question about love and be loved. People need people love and be close. How great is that when u found it. I think it is still possible and thats way my PMO is worth it.

    Marc
     
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  8. Marcus86

    Marcus86 Fapstronaut

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    This video help me a lot:

    Marc
     
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  9. ullfigureitout

    ullfigureitout Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys. So I'm traveling and have met up with a couple of guys but didn't do anything much.
    I now spent about 3 minutes touching myself just to see if it would get hard because with the guy it kind of didn't. He went down to suck and i stopped him. Partially BC it wasn't hard, while he had a massive erection.

    At what point will it get hard by somrone kissing me? Back in the day, that was how I knew if I liked someone. I'd kiss him, get hard and want to press it on him.

    I'm irritated that I spent a few minutes touching myself but the mental horniness is difficult to deal with. I'm not going to fail but what do I do. It doesn't help that the weather is dark & rainy in Chicago (I hate the rain) & I'm feeling a bit down.

    I'm curious if pmo was a way for me to deal with loneliness. I'm not in my 20s and am getting tired of life on my own.

    Hummmm
     
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  10. kfitz421

    kfitz421 New Fapstronaut

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    I had a bad relapse today. I have been doing so well for a little over two-weeks. I was on Vine and when somebody likes one of my videos I go to their page and like one of theirs - but this time this person had porn on theirs. I had this voice in my head that kept telling me to look away but I just couldn't do it. It all ended the usual way and now I feel bad. This sucks haha. I guess the good thing is that once we slip up we have the opportunity to come back better than before. For some reason I feel like I should give up RuPaul's Drag Race. I feel like everything gay related is over-sexual and even that show is. I just want to be happy in my own world and not fawn after naked butts on a screen, you know?
     
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  11. evanstar

    evanstar New Fapstronaut

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    Just checking in as another gay member here who just recently joined. Certain apps are still on my phone and I know they're not helping me!
     
  12. jcb

    jcb Fapstronaut

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    Hey! I feel the same way. You need to have the self control to either delete them or not open them. In the end you need to not be doing PMO. I'm on day 32 and this morning for some reason I opened tumblr and guess what? Yep, porn popped up. I looked at it for a moment and then realized that I had drifted in the wrong direction. I got out of bed and put on my gym clothes and went to the gym. You have a choice in every moment of your day to decide which direction you want to go. Stay conscious and aware of what you're choosing. Stay strong.
     
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  13. jcb

    jcb Fapstronaut

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    Hey, I know have exactly how you feel. I'm on day 32 and I've thought about MO often. Not jerking off has really helped me but I've had a ton thoughts about just getting my rocks off. But then I think that all the benefits outweigh the few seconds of pleasure I get from jerking off. In the end, after doing a ton of research around nofap and really why we are all here is, we jerk off to avoid all our problems in life. That addictive dopamine rush gives us a moment of escape and we keep chasing the dragon thinking it's going to solve our problems. When we set aside our thoughts about avoidance and confront the issue head on, it has the possibility to create a new path for improvement. Change your direction. If loneliness is an issue then create the possibility of having more friends or finding a partner. How you say? By acknowledging that loneliness is something that you are telling yourself. Know that it's just that. Why not tell yourself a different story? Nofap has made me talk to guys now that I never would have talked to before because before I would recoil to the recesses of porn as an easy way to cope with life. Stay strong and don't give in. You'll appreciate it in the long run.
     
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  14. If anybody is down to host the next Gay Men's group, please reach out to me by replying on through private message. Groups aren't live for everybody to create yet, but I'd love to get this one started.
     
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  15. jcb

    jcb Fapstronaut

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    Take care not act out of guilt. That is what we are trying to escape here. By telling the story of you are not a man if you seek pleasure vs you are a man if you seek fulfillment, implies that you aren't man enough if you are seeking pleasure. We are all perfect where we are and none of us is "broken" or needs to be fixed. We all have the power to move in a more positive direction and being able to acknowledge where we are and where we would like to go can be a powerful tool. Positive reinforcement in this community works better than imposing ideas of inadequacy.
     
  16. Jake366

    Jake366 New Fapstronaut

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    New to this forum and excited to see that something like this exists. I am 30 now and I've been dealing with a porn and cam sex addiction since my teens. I am so ready to be free of this! I have been fighting this for so long and probably about a year ago I gave up and just accepted that I didn't have the strength and I just need to learn to live with it. This addiction has been so isolating and has really made me chronically depressed. And I know it is having the same effect on my partner. I am looking to reboot, but I'm dreading what that means - deleting my stash, closing my torrent accounts, etc. Appreciate any advice you guys can give.

    To your point, I'm definitely interested in a gay men's group.
     
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  17. Pantim

    Pantim New Fapstronaut

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    Heya, has anyone managed to find the group that Blue started? I can't seem to find it.

    I've posted in the main reddit page for nofap; but as some of you have pointed out; us gay guys go through a bit different process for this. Sex is so friggen easy to come by as a gay guy! I am going to start not only to rewire my brain away from porn but also to move to having more healthy relationships then just casual empty sex that leaves me feeling horrible.
     
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  18. denvernightowl

    denvernightowl New Fapstronaut

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    Hiya fellas -

    Jay here again (posted several months ago...). I tried, like many others, to find the initial community group that Blue set up, but to no avail. After reconnecting with NoFap after several months of Fap relapse, I saw the request for someone to start a group.

    If you go to the "Forums" page, then click "Groups," you can find a Gay Men's community group. We're building a community there, so feel free to apply to join. I'll let you in right away. I just kept it private, so once they join, members feel they have a more safe space to talk about any concerns they have as gay men.

    See you soon!
     
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  19. Hieroglyphics

    Hieroglyphics Fapstronaut

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    Objectifying guys is definitely an issue I still struggle with. I'm glad other guys have this issue and have that empty fee after sex. It makes me feel that I'm not alone. Lol
     
  20. gronkychris

    gronkychris New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, just joined up and 4 days in. I can't believe the things I've read over the past few days. I'm definitely in the right place! All of the symptoms I've read, I experience.

    I have a question though.. When bottoming, to get off usually involves mastubration. Is this different as it is sex or not?
     
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