Gay people doing nofap

Hi, im new here, im from Spain, gay, 41.
I think some aspects of our rebooting is easier to share with other gays, so Im opening this topic to discuss them.

I apologize for my English, it is not easy for me to write fluently but i will do my best.

Nobody in my family nor friends knew i was gay untill i was 24, when i was a teenager i didn't have access to internet, and i didn't have real sex, so i spent hours masturbating everyday. That made me an introvert boy, with social anxiety.

After that i had two boyfriends, my first relationship lasted two year and the second one, twelve, im still living with my second boyfriend.

Even with boyfriends i never left porn and masturbation. I did it everyday, when i was alone at home i could be hours in front of PC.

Four years ago I started with ED, i was really worried, so looking information I realized it was PMO the origin of it,so I started NoFap. It helped me to recuperate good erections but anyway, since then i am afraid of be top and the 99% of times i practice anal sex as a bottom.i don't know if more people has experienced something similar.

In this 4 years I realized I should quit PM completely but i cant find the way. I want to get 90 days but my best streak is 35, i have relapsed hundred of times and hundred of times I started again. It is frustrating because I want to feel the true potential of live free of PM, but everytime i progressed, i came back to the beginning.

Thanks for reading, i hope we can share experiences and tips that help us to get our goal.