General self esteem/old flame?

Well, I've doing some mental exercises for emotional self esteem they have been okay. Still have this uncomfortable feeling lingering in the background whenever I'm with my boyfriend which is hopefully will improve. I do love my boyfriend but I feel I will continue to fell this way until he finally rids himself of this addiction. I'm over 100 days of nofap, no objectification what so ever, do I miss the attention I received before? Nope. But I did receive a text that shook me to my core this morning, from a guy I shared an odd relationship with (webcamming, phone sex, sexting due to the distance) he had lied to me and really hurt me. I blocked him so he probably has a new number. It says "I miss you. I know you must despise me since, I was being an arse. I really did love you, I'm just used to getting what I want from everyone. You refused the plane tickets I sent you. I wanted to be able to wrap my arms around you. What man that has had you, keep away from you? I hope your boyfriend tells you he loves you everyday, tells you how beautiful you are, tells you how much you mean to him everyday. I hope he comes by your place everyday to just just hug and kiss you even if for only 3 minutes. Maybe even takes you out so you can enjoy yourself along side him. He probably doesn't. But from the bottom of my heart I hope to hell he does. You deserve the fucking world! I am so sorry for the horrible things that happened between us. I was not right in not telling you the truth. All the lies tore you apart, the heartache I caused you. My selfishness. When you love a person you love them hard, support them, put with the shit just like you did. You have opened my eyes and I had fallen for you. Begged, pleaded, wanted you to move in with me, I asked you to marry me and have my children. A lifetime with you is a lifetime of happiness. I will never forget you but I will always regret not doing enough for you. I hope your boyfriend does everything he can for you, I know you do whatever you can for him. I apologize for the randomness of it all, I'm getting a new number and starting a new life and leaving my old flat but before I do I just wanted to let you know. Enjoy your life, you deserve all the happiness and joy in universe, in existence."
It's odd to see this, after such a long time of not seeing or hearing from him. The way he mentioned my boyfriend makes me damn uncomfortable but he wasn't rude towards him. It hurt to read that, made me remember how awful I felt. But he's not in my life anymore. I have someone I love to the core, someone I'd do anything for. Blast from the past huh? And that's all that will ever be. I deleted the text and won't ever be looking back, why should I? I have this future waiting for me with the man I love. I forgave but I will forget. Not the correct saying but it works for me. Time for my future, but I also wish him the very best.

Just to add on if you make it to the bottom what's your favorite food? Lol Mine are both probably sandwiches or pizza..hmm

 

When someone vows to never contact you again, hurts you to no end as well as had the gall to cheat and still messages after almost a year. That is shocking. We haven't been in that relationship in years. Years! So this to me is just kinda odd. Not the first time this has happened