General Self Improvement and certain types of addictions

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by PuertoricanHusky, Sep 30, 2018.

  1. PuertoricanHusky

    PuertoricanHusky Fapstronaut

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    So i came across something on reddit and it made me think for a while, but really think hard, on what could possibly be an addiction to me, what could i have made/had as an addiction, no just porn itself but, anything, i mean you can be addicted to work, and that would be a good thing but at the same time now, at the same time all addictions could be bad or some not, depening on the perpective and the basic knowledge that i know this is what i came accross-

    "The shit that you guys are talking about with your social anxiety, lack of confidence, and other ailments aren't coming from your masturbation habits. They're coming from your long hours in front of the computer habits that just so happen to include pornography and masturbation, because you've trained yourself to beat off while at the computer. Do yourself a favor: get off your computer unless you're doing homework, researching something that's wrong with your car, or shopping for something (and I'm not talking about fleshlights or dildos here). Change your wallpaper from some slutty blonde to penguins. Delete pornhub from your bookmarks and don't go into incognito mode any more."

    Now, what this meant to me and what i understood from this particular post/thread that this person made, was that it might be true, who knows, i was born with technology, always had tech by my side since the start, now what does this mean?

    I might be addicted to tech and not just porn itself, some people addicted to tech/having phones and their lives on it, they might look for real life emotions/rewards by working hard but since these people already have tech they can find those rewards by the click of a button, not just "Porn" does the dopamine part, games too, when you complete a challenge, when you reach a certain amount of followers, when you make something and it pays back (With tech) youll get the same emotions/rewards than when working hard to do something, now, im a person diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety,social phobia and a bit more, and i feel like if you become addicted to tech it would be the same as doing drugs or watching porn, now, what i mean is, our lives could get better if we loosened up our time abit with our phones and computers and instead of EVER playing games for our boredom wich im completely against of doing now, and also giving up those instagram followers and all that crap, just use your phone to actually help you or for something really needed, maybe for work, to text some real life friends (But not over exaggerating it meet them up in real life) just litteraly use your phone either a source of information and/or talking with in real life friends to meet up.

    Thanks for reading, if you want to leave and opinion or clarify something go for it, this is just my experience.
     
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  2. oneaffidavit

    oneaffidavit Fapstronaut

    Whenever I feel like I am addicted to something, I go cold turkey.

    I quit facebook in 2016 and for 1 year to be precise. I was extremely hard. Every time I opened browser, first letter which I would type "f" just to peek into it. It felt such a relief checking facebook every 2-3 hours. Its only a peek. Mind you. BUT still I was hooked to it. I was using fb for half an hour daily but the cravings to peek were intense. That's what frustrated me one day when I didn't have Internet. Then, I decided to quit. It was frustrating. I can no longer access my profile. It felt painful. I continued visiting facebook site many times after I deleted the account only to see a login screen instead of profile page.

    After creating new account last year, I added back all friends. I get same updates. I saw new features on fb like reactions which got added. Look has changed etc.

    I visited facebook once recently and was shocked to see many people wished me on my birthday and I didn't even know. What the heck?? I saw their messages 3 MONTHS LATER! It was 3 months since I visited the website. I do visit facebook time to time but I hardly use it for 20 minutes per whole week. Earlier it was 3-4 hours a week.

    Dopamine chemical which creates the "rush" actually get triggered by the cues or signals. Dopamine dominates when pressed "f" on browser to type facebook. So, to kill activation of dopamine. You kill cravings. To kill cravings, you kill cues/triggers. Triggers get killed when you abstain. They get weaker.

    This is probably the reason why many people who successfully reboot and suddenly one fine day, they fap and fall back into dangerous cycle of PMO again. Their old thinking patterns start emerging once they relapse.

    Its just my theory. I may be wrong but abstaining always killed my cravings. I also quit video games before and after 1 year, I had absolutely zero cravings.
     
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  3. Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    Wow, that is awesome buddy, that is ONE thing I did not know about dopamine. I mean, the only thing I know is that our brain creates dopamine chemicals to make us feel good about ourselves. And this can be done by certain things like you mentioned. But it can also be done by other things like working out, seeking out a higher power, listening to music eating et al.
     
  4. PuertoricanHusky

    PuertoricanHusky Fapstronaut

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    Truly inspiring, i will for sure dive deep in and search more information on this, weird how i didnt know, thank you so much!
     
  5. oneaffidavit

    oneaffidavit Fapstronaut

    Thanks, may be my understanding was not so right after all. I described what worked for me. As I was idle and alone, I decided to learn science on PMO better.

    I summarized many things in below thread link and I recommend you to watch the actual presentation if you have time (its over an hour long)

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/reboot-25-yo-hardmode.195474/#post-1693326
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2018
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  6. Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    OK I will. Thank you bud. Have a nice relaxed Sunday. Peace out.
     
    PuertoricanHusky likes this.
  7. Abstaining is good but understanding why you feel what you feel (beyond “dopamine”) is even more important for long-term success. To understand where your feelings come from and why and what to do when you experience them. (The answer is not shove feelings into deep enough that you can now ignore them harder.)

    But when I say this what I mean that understanding is a longterm goal - of course there may be times you feel a temptation to do something you know you don’t want to do and you will decide to tell yourself “no” but what I am suggesting is to later step back and ask, why? Why did this start in the first place? What am I typically feeling when this happens? (I am willing to bet money that somewhere shame is involved in the equation where addictions appear - learn what is your source(s) of shame.)

    I work in developmental neuroscience research and I am telling you there is more to understanding how to let go of porn or facebook or whatever else than blaming dopamine, although it is useful to understand the reward system. But your reward system isn’t the main problem here, it’s whatever led you to so heavily rely on it in the first place. Know what I mean?

    So how to improve in general? Learn about who you really are, start journaling, find a good therapist if you have the means, and keep asking yourself “why?” Learn how to question the ways you perceive and interpret yourself, others, your environment, your entire paradigm of the world and how it works and why. Take the steps to understand self-care, self-efficacy, self-awareness, acceptance...

    Best of luck
     

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