German Post about "Porn does not destroy sex life!"

*cannot set the url its forbidden :/

I trust Nofap, but I'm about to get back into porn. What should I do?

translated in english:

"Porn does not destroy your sex life - on the contrary
Everything you know about the effect of porn on real sex is nonsense.
from VICE Staff
09 July 2016, 6:00am


Porn distorts the sex drive, raises unrealistic expectations and makes people no longer want their real partners: Not only do die-hard pornographers believe this, it's actually almost a consensus in our society. Since streaming has made it possible, we watch more porn than ever before and at the same time we are worried about whether this is not somehow bad for us. Can it be healthy for a normal man to have seen 300 vaginas before he got out of bed in the morning?

This discomfort has now given rise to a whole anti-porn movement that proudly calls itself "NoFap" and whose followers enthusiastically discuss the positive consequences of their abstinence in forums. Their mastermind is Gary Wilson, who has dedicated a website, a viral TED talk and an entire book to the alleged problem. In Your Brain on Porn, Wilson argues, among other things, that porn consumption permanently messes up consumers' dopamine levels, that excessive consumption must be classified as an addiction, and that pornography causes its very own form of erectile dysfunction.

"If you keep watching these videos with real people having so-called real sex, it will eventually completely replace your own imagination," Wilson explained in an interview with VICE two years ago. "Because of Internet porn, some men suffer from erectile dysfunction, inability to climax, delayed ejaculation, declining libido with real partners, and declining interest in real partners.

Wilson's theories sound plausible, but they have one problem: They're scientifically impossible to prove. Wilson himself likes to talk about "synaptic pathways" and dopamine, but he's no scientist himself. If you ask them, you come to quite different results.

The American magazine Aeon has now published a detailed article that deals with this issue in detail. The author, Maria Konnikova, has tried to compile almost everything there is research on the effects of porn consumption on human sexuality. Her first finding: We still know far too little, because very few scientists are seriously studying the subject. But what we do know suggests that we are fundamentally wrong about porn.

In one experiment, for example, sexual psychologists found out that porn consumption does not cause erectile dysfunction-just the opposite. The men who stated that they watched a lot of porn on a regular basis reacted more excitedly to films and afterwards had more desire to have sex with a partner than those who were less used to porn. In another study, the researchers asked 44 heterosexual couples to watch porn - together and alone. The result: the couples who watched porn had more desire for each other, even if they had not watched the movies together.

The other findings Konnikova collected from social research are quite fascinating:

There is no evidence that men who watch porn often compare their real sexual partners with the actresses and that this has long-term effects on the relationship.
There is no evidence that porn consumption leads to unrealistic expectations and the urge for more daring experiments.
Porn does not make men violent and does not change their attitude towards women. Researchers have found that pornography only has a negative effect on men who have had a propensity for sexual aggression before.
There is no such thing as porn addiction.

Especially the last point is hard to digest for many NoFap activists. There are whole forums where offended NoFappers get upset about articles that question the reality of their porn addiction. "[Sexologists] want to avoid being found to be addicted to pornography," Wilson defended the concept to VICE. "Because they fear that sex in general will be labeled negative once porn consumption is labeled harmful."

Konnikova would disagree with him that's exactly where the problem lies: Pornography is not the problem. Because we have a strange relationship to our own sexuality and the position of women in society, our pornography reflects that. And because we do not dare to talk freely about sexuality with children, they have to learn everything they know about it from pornography. Instead of demonizing pornography, Konnikova demands that we should start talking about sexuality more positively and more freely."