@Rayder4Life @Rayder4Life I am jacking your first post. Fasten your seatbelts, it going to be a bumpy ride. You said: So i started doing this like a week ago, but i cant seem to go past day 2, usually i last for a day but the next day i relapse, i dont know what is wrong with me, i just find myself watchin something on the internet that i dont even conscionsly recognise and i start touchin myself without bein aware, next thing u know im deep in it and after i cum i realise, omg what happened i just relapsed again. i dont know what to do to stop this, its like im a zombie that does things without his will. all i want is orgasm orgasm, like a zombie needs brains, i felt that i had more energy and focus after 1 day or 2, but i cant seem to go past that, everytime i relapse i feel so fatigue and without any purpose, no ambition nothing, i just dont do anything, i cheated my way out of life and this is life's punishment on me, because sex is the reason why we do things in life, we wanna get rich so we can get a girl, we wanna flashy car to get a girl and to get attention, we want that big house to get the fuckin girl, we do stuff that are inherently about a woman that we want to have a family with, but the side effects are that this selfish thing is what propelled humanity so far ahead, ambition starts with this, purpose starts with this, jacking off is the cheat to all of this, after u do it, u dont want the flashy car anymore, u dont wanna get rich anymore, u dont want the big house anymore, ur life purpose was fullfilled and ure worthless now. u got nothing else to exist for, so u deplet ur energy with which u could do wonders for nothing. i dont know what to do to stop this now and forever, i wanna have a purpose in life, i want to stop cheating on life, i want to live life to its full potential. but its so hard to stop... First post. Day one. I had 14 months of day one, before I got to DAY ONE. I am going to try and speed it up for you. Loving, wanting, seeking, getting. We like that. It is hard wired. It is OK, just recognize it, know it, know yourself. Oh, and jacking off only seems epic until you understand what it is; jacking off is, actually, about as profound as taking a hit off a cigarette. In fact, it is exactly that profound. Not so profound. The problem can seem HUGE when it is up close and in your face, but, once you understand what it is, it is, essentially, a hygiene problem. Not watching porn is sort of like brushing your teeth every day; once you get into the habit, it's just something you DO NOT do every day. By the way, quitting porn does not magically make your life better. Your life can still suck after quitting porn. But...I do think it makes having a better life quit a bit more likely. If you are here thinking quitting porn will magically make your life better...well, you can kill that illusion. But you can, and you should, quit using P, if it has taken over your life like you say. One of the better purposes of a place like this is to own yourself. You need to own you; P should not own you. OWN YOURSELF. We like that because of a neurological event that happens, naturally, and healthily, in the brain. It can be described as a lot of things, but let's call it a dopamine reward, a dopamine rush, a dopamine high. So, first thing is quit asking "why" you want it. You want it for the reason I just said you want it. Period. Enough of wrestling with the why of why you want it, you want it because we all want it, because our brains are built to want it. I probably owe Gary Wilson a copyright fee, but watch this video, and start to Get Educated. WATCH THIS VIDEO, THEN WATCH IT AGAIN, THEN WATCH IT AGAIN. Understand P, and PMO, is a tool. We invented it not too long ago. In fact, in evolutionary terms, we invented half a second ago. We (us, you, me, humanity), are figuring out how to deal with the invention of the internet, and, then, shortly after, the invention of high speed internet, and, then, shortly after, the invention of HIGH SPEED INTERNET PORN. Think of HSIP as a button. It is a means to an end. No, really, think of it as a button, a tool, something you can use to achieve...wait for it....a dopamine high. Dopamine is, probably, the reason we get up in the morning. It is a neurotransmitter, that has been called a "motivational" neurotransmitter, and a "reward" neurotransmitter. It is one of the reasons why we do what we do, whatever it is what we do. It has a very profound role in encouraging reproduction in the species, and in all mammalian species. Rule one. Nature wants us reproducing. The most successful species make a lot of copies of themselves. Those copies we call children. Offspring. So, that desire to make babies is hard wired, in the brain. Dopamine rewards sexual thoughts. We figured out, about 12 years ago, via HSIP, that we could generate off the charts sexual thought, and thus, off the charts dopamine rewards, dopamine reactions, dopamine high, and we will throw in endogenous opioid reactions. Yep, it ALL happens in the brain. One of the first things you must abandon is any self pity. You cannot quit P while feeling you were a victim of P. So, own it. U used P, P used you, you had a relationship. The relationship has to end. No judgment. Quitting. You are quitting P and PMO, but, really, you are quitting using P and PMO to achieve a dopamine high. If you are addicted, you are addicted to the dopamine high. Essential you understand that, intellectually. You are giving up an artificially produced dopamine high. THAT IS GOING TO HURT. Once you have trained your brain to get that high daily, cutting it off produces withdrawals. I don't know who it was, but someone said withdrawals suck. Oh, yeah, it was me. For me, intellectually, I had to say this, to myself, every day, for many months, to get clean: "This feels like dying. It may be that I am dying. I don't want to live feeling like this. I would not mind if death just took me. But, if this is what I have to feel to give up P and PMO, then this is the feeling I will have, every day, for the rest of my life." Smiley face emodicon, right? Withdrawals fade, then go away, but between now and then, you are going to face a grim reality. If you want to give it up, you can do it, and you will survive, then be just fine. But, pain is the price you will pay. Don't feel sorry for yourself, but don't beat yourself up, either. No one becomes addicted to this shit knowing we can become, and are becoming, addicted to this shit. We do it as a pastime, as a distraction, like playing a video game, then, one day, we say to ourselves, "I want to put this down", but have the very uncomfortable realization, that we can't. Truth is, we can, but we have to know what we are putting down. It's not just porn, it's the neurological reward we use porn to generate. This is me, on this side of clean, holding a hand out, to you. Come on over. It's really just a matter of training your brain to live without it. The training hurts, but it is worth it. Thanks for letting me jack your post. Much love. 1ANDDONE.