Get Rid of PORN in 2021.

Hello guys, and gals, So I'm in trouble, You know about ten years ago I stumbled upon this interesting website on internet, I thought, hmm, how harmful can it be, at first it was funny, I remember laughing, but then it was an experience I had never experienced before. It was soothing, It was scary, It gave me goosebumps and I got hooked to it, but at that time I was just playing with it and it was new and fun, I never thought this action will one day stand on up in front of me and I'll have such a hard time leaving it.

In lockdown I realised the dark side of porn, I don't have a girlfriend, so it is the only intimacy I have ever had in my life, I used to like it, but in lockdown there was so much time and pretty much nothing to do, So what else we should do? Go Crazy. Soon I thought it must have it's damages, I mean i can't just keep masturbating continuously, I get tired, I feel different, I felt weak and so I went to my teacher, who answers all my questions without any judgement, MrGoogle, I asked him what are the harms and I was shocked, It was exactly what I was feeling, so I thought, okay, If doing that much masturbation is harmful, We'll just NOT do it, EASY. Little did I know that it is everything else but EASY.

So, I have been on NOFAP before, my highest streak was 24 days, I deleted my account after that, because I relapsed, not relapsed, I slipped, But then I relapsed. I couldn't continue my streak for more than a week after that.

I have to admit guys, Those 24 days were the best days of my life, I achieved things i can't even imagine to achieve, I was focused, I was Productive, I was everything else but a loser.

Honestly, I don't give a shit about PORN, I say watch it, No problem, The thing that worries me most is, I can't STOP watching it. I mean I tried, I made goals, I made long goals, short goals, Focus increase, Meditation, probably everything I know might help I have done it, and yet again I Masturbated just last night.

I have tried tracking my habit, why and when I masturbate, Only thing i have found out is i masturbate when I'm bored. Well, Who doesn't? we can't expect ourselves to be having FUN all day everyday. we need to rest for god's sake. Question i ask myself is, Why do I have to masturbate when there are No tasks for me at work(working from home, never masturbated in office). Why can't I use it to rest, or relax, or something else that is not PORN. I don't, My brain won't let me think anything else, Only PORN. And seriously guys, Now i have nothing, I have tried everything and the habit is still here.

It's been four months since i have tried to stop faping to PORN. I definitely require your help, Please Do.

• Your gender : MALE
• Your age : 23
  
  
• How long you have been using porn : 10 years
  
  
• The impact pornography use has had on your life

Brain Fog
Less confidence
self doubts
slow
less productive
unhealthy
dry skin
unhealthy genitals
less hygienic​

• Why you have decided to quit using porn

I want to succeed in my life, and I think if i can quit porn, or at least complete 3 months hard mode, I can do pretty much anything else.​

• Your chosen rebooting parameters

90 days Hard Mode​

Anyone reading this, Please help.

 

I guess, One day at a time, here we go.


Thanks @growthlearner

 

Day 0 : Feels nothing, Seems Flat. Maybe because of the brain fog or whatever.

Ohh yeah, it's been around two weeks since i stopped using a smartphone, I use a basic keypad phone now.
Obviously it is because accessing porn is so easy if you have that. plus I think people are being dependent on a smartphone quiet a lot these days. soon it will be so hard to do pretty much anything if you don't own a smartphone, call me stupid or old school, but I don't like that, the way I see it, I think apple and android are the ones who are telling us what to do and how to live our life. the entire population should be involved in innovating things and not just apple and google, while we do a 9 to 5 job and then operate a smartphone to make us feel better.

so it feels great, it's hard though smartphone helped me a lot but considering the damages it did, it would always even out the good and bad, so I figured I am better off without it.

and last time I relapsed, guess what, another bad habit came back in my life, I used to smoke in college, and I quit the day I had walked out of that place, and never smoked, but when I relapsed I was in pain so I started Smoking again. Now I am taking the decision to get rid of both these habits. sure I went on the wrong path, But i think if I try, I can find my way back.

 

Thank you very much @NEET2021,

 

Day 1:
Feels slightly better, feels good that I have taken a decision Again and I'm not backing down, This happens everytime though, I feel better for some days, I stay away from porn but the thing is, I know I will be back to it, Why? Because I have done this so many times, now I don't even trust this feeling that i'm having, the feeling that is telling me that my watching porn days are long gone and I will never do it again,

There's this guy inside me who will take over once I recover a little, the moment I will realise that, yes it feels good now, now I am productive, now I am making progress, that person will take over and I will be fuckin back to square one.

That will be the moment I'll have to attack, and break this never ending circle, until then, all I can do is wait.

 

Skill Update : Low Class Warrior.

 

So Far So Good:

About to go to sleep, will be watching maybe one or two episodes of "The Office", Anyways, Something I noticed today is Before this I was never able to turn off my wireless mouse before going to bed, No matter how much i try I always forget, but today I remembered doing it, I unplugged the dongle from my laptop , turned off the mouse and placed it on my work desk.

I know it sounds weird but for me it's a big accomplishment, and I hope I stay this way.

 

14 more days for my Elite warrior skill, I can and will make it happen. I give myself my WORD.

 

Thank you very much @OffCartman , Wish you the same my friend.

 

So I had to survive last night and Today, there's nobody at home and work load was also pretty minimal, but I guess I didn't think much about P@#$ considering the fact that I'm away from Social media and It's negativity, Also because it's the first week and in my case first week is usually easy, I'm aware all the time and I have will power, I would be begging for mercy in my second week.

Trigger wise, I would say two three Minimal urges The day before yesterday, and one or two minor urges today, Nothing serious It's all vanilla right now.

 

Ohh, I finished "The Office" TV - Series, What a show people, I just loved the chemistry of JIM and PAM. Loved it.

 

6th day about to end :

So I had P@#$ cravings this morning, No body was at home and I guess the cold weather was the reason.
on youtube I saw this erotic thumbnail and I remember all I wanted to do was go to a p@#$ site and fulfil my desire. I didn't though, I guess I am serious about it this time.

I remember me telling myself to break the circle and how this was the time to choose the other option and not the easy one.

things will be harder after this, will need to be aware.

It will be so good, if I reach my birthday without a relapse, I will feel that I have really achieved something.

 

Yup, I'm in. Let's all do that.

 

So, Since it's been six days,

Now the hard part begins. It was easy up until now. Just this morning I had this massive urge, I experienced this lucid dream tonight and the morning was hard, I didn't go into cold shower or anything fancy like that, I guess there's still some will power remaining and I didn't act on the urge.

So now that the Second phase has begin, I am adding some changes to my routine, Now I will be making healthy changes in my behaviour so that my mind stays busy and Doesn't get bored. The next six days are going to be productive.

I have to achieve this, I just have to. I have made so many bad choices that my body has started to affect, Hair thinning, weakness, low confidence are just mere glimpses of the damages.

I am switching to healthy Breakfast for now, I tried to add a routine of going early morning walks, but the weather is so cold I couldn't make it. I would sleep with motivation but in morning it's just hard. So i figured i should try again after a week or so, Hopefully my willpower will increase. It is definitely going to increase after i reach Elite in my Challenge.

Also I have heard the Working out during Rehab is very healthy, That's why I'm planning to buy a pair of dumbbells. I would have joined the gym but it's pandemic, and i think dumbbells are a safer choice.

 

A week, A week, A fuckin' Week. YES! I am buckling myself for future Drama, because I am sure I will be losing my awareness anytime soon, It just gets harder and harder from now, But I have done this before and I'm pretty sure I can do it again,

All I have to do is stay Aware and Stay focused, I want to reach my birthday without fapping.

Achievements:
Skin looks great. (Not celebrity level but a glow in my eyes and face, I think May achieve celebrity level after 90Days Of Nofap )
I am healthy again. (Not extremely but I can feel activeness in my body)

Slight confidence boost, Feels good to know that I am taking a step to control my Taboo of a habit, which doesn't make me Hide a second face of myself from society. I am free and I can speak freely now because I don't have any Hidden Faces, sure I made bad choices in my Past, Sure it will be hard for me to remove those BDSM pictures from my head and replace them with sensual and Romantic Real possibilities, But I feel good that I took a step when I realised what I was doing can affect How I see my wife in future, How I see my daughter and How I look at other women in society,

I don't know if Multiple sex partners are a good thing, I don't Know if friends with benefits really exists, I don't know if people actually fuck a Pizza delivery guy, because Honestly speaking, I have only seen these things in movies and only heard rumours, never actually met someone, who was willing to do anything merely close to what I see in romcoms and PORN, I was a kid before who didn't know better, but now I have the ability to think and process what's healthy and what's Bad,What's possible and what's fake, And this part of my life, The Sexual one, I want it to be best because they say it is the most powerful energy of this world.

To another Week, Cheers !!

 

Back to square one,

I was really good for 9 days guys, I was busy I was aware, but yesterday I didn't have to work and I was bored at home, I knew it is bad, So I decided to go to a relative's home where I won't be able to access P@#$, I took my motorcycle keys and just as I headed out my mom started yelling at me how I don't respect my money and I am a LOSER. she was upset that I was going away for No reason.

Well, I didn't go out, I was In the house with my laptop.

4 times guys, 4 fuckin' times.

Then I ate a Pi'zza and watched, This is where I leave you, to make myself feel better.

Notes for future:
- Never Tell Mom your plans.
- Never operate a laptop or anything Related to internet if there's even 1% chance of you ending up at porn site. It is hard to control when the temptation rises from 1% to 100%, Just go away.
- Never put yourself in a situation of being bored.
- Always operate a laptop with someone around and if watching a movie just stay offline.

Starting 90DayHardMode Once again.