Get Rid of PORN in 2021.

Great initiative man, Wish you all the luck you want. and I'm always here if you wanna speak.
Proud of you for taking action.

 

So the week I had, completely clueless about this dark side of my life. I was busy as hell, this morning I woke up late cause I was watching a movie last night. So, I pick up my phone and read a notification saying, First checkpoint reached, Congratulations !!, And my day just became even better.

Anyways, This time I'm dead serious about this challenge.

To another awesome week. Cheers !

 

Relapsed Yesterday

 

So I sought help from internet after realising I had relapsed again. I came up with a video on youtube and felt good and upbeat after watching it.

I found out this GOD Mode thing which I like a lot and I think I can do it.

It's 30 Days No Porn, Masturbation and Orgasm.

So starting God Mode from today.

Wish me luck.

 

Relapsed yesterday and continued today, Only Seven day streak, At that time I thought I can cross a Month.

Anyways, So In the course If we can't complete God Mode, We Go to the next step which is 15 Day Healthy Release without Porn and then Continue for 15 days, And Then Start God Mode Again.

So Starting Super Human Mode from tomorrow, I mean I have started it but I'll start the day counter from tomorrow.

Wish Me luck.

 

This Is Hard.

 

Ghawddd, It's been a while since i have logged.

So, I back to Not Fapping. Cravings are off the roofs lately, I mean circle a galaxy and come back kind of limits.

Anyways, Since I have tried every fuckin' way to complete my streak and fail. I have decided I'll try to quit porn first and then try to tackle masturbation. Problem is I get porn scenes in my head and those push me to watch it even more. So If i simply masturbate instead of watching porn I guess I will have a chance to make distance from the Porn Imagination and move on to my on fantasies.

Meanwhile I will be doing all the good stuff like eating healthy meditation and exercise.

Starting the counter.

 

You know what, On second thought, I'm going full in.

NoPMO - 90 days.

 

Plan is to go to bed now.

Day 1 was a little devious to be honest, Anyways I was working on a project of mine, which will be completed tomorrow.

Workout is not started yet because my house condition and daily basic needs are slightly fucked up and that is affecting my betterSelf routine if it makes any sense. I mean how are you supposed to go jogging in the morning when you don't have any fresh underwear in your wardrobe. I know, I'm working on it.

Good thing is I'll be brushing my teeth today before going to bed, and I meditated for a couple minutes which felt great.

Day 2, I feel tomorrow will be productive, Will try to go for a walk early morning.
then work on my project and will try to study for a while.

Later.

 

Ohhhhkay, Now that I have opened my eyes How am I still alive?, My life is a mess right now, I mean, My mom is growing Old, My house is falling apart "Literally!" I do not have a Job, I left it last month because I was having a fucking nervous breakdown.

I am unable to go jogging or workout because of this Jock itch in my groin, it keeps coming back, I think it might be related to my habit of masturbating in my underwear and then going to sleep naked after that. some residue still remains which might be producing some kind of bacteria or something I don't know..

My Mom talks crazy shit everyday to me, which impacts my brain quite a lot, If you guys have seen JOKER, relate my mom with that dude's mom, and it's not like I'm annoyed with her or something like that, She will sometimes say things that are illogical on so many levels and I can't even argue with her.

There is just me in my family, My dad used to drink alot and that is mostly the reason for my mom being this way so I don't blame her.

So long story short,
I will have to Fix my house on my own, Labor work and mental work both.
I will have to study for my job (Which i don't even know If i want to do).
I will have to cook food myself (I a kitchen where Rats and Cockroaches are pretty normal and its very hard to find literally anything)
I will have to wash my own clothes (With bare hands no Washing machine) because Mom is lazy lately and she has already done a lot for me already.
above all that I'll have to workout, Keep a healthy diet and work on my diet, NoFap, Hair routine and basic life routines.

It's hard enough to any one part of these and I'll have to do all of these on a regular basis, and If somehow I manage to get a job then I'll have to do 8 hours of Job, 2 hours commute and the 14 hours for all of this stuff.

I think I'm FUCKED !!

 

Today was great though I couldn't study at all or do something that a normal person does in their day, I was busy my whole day fixing a Cooler and installing it In my room, It gets Really HOT here and We can't afford an air conditioner right now. plus my house is falling apart so there's not really a place where I can install an Air Conditioner. That was the project I was working on. my another project - I have also build a bathroom by myself, we did not have any bathroom in our house before this all brick work flooring and plumbing was done by my own self I don't know if it was a good idea or bad but I had fun doing it. that project is still under process. and two other projects that are on hold.

I think I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself.

 

I will not be focusing on my streak this time, In fact I'll be focusing to take it one day at a time. Today was good.

 

I feel positive today ! I sent out One resume for a company that i like, I know I am supposed to send out millions and then I'll get some chance of getting a job, But Biggest part is, I took a step forward today, it was my inner self that was sending out the resume, Means It's ready for a Job.

I didn't do anything today, stayed home, spent time with my mother, cooked this evening and relaxed.

My Jock itch is better now, It's healing. I am very happy about it.

Plans for tomorrow are : I'll be trying to watch some Movie, maybe study and have pleasing time with my soul. last month I was in a condition which was very mentally devastating, I was working on Sundays for god's sake and an asshole in my office told me I don't work enough, That shit hurt me and I was done with that company(not full story there were other points that pushed me to quit my job as well), I am confident that I'll find a better place for myself where my work and passion will be valued. Anyways I was on the verge of going into depression and to cure myself I'm giving myself all the time in the world. And it's working, That's why I feel positive today.

Will start jogging in the morning once this Jock itch disappears.
And also STOP BAILING on Meditation, It will help us in the long term, or we'll be relapsing before we could even open the website.

Anyways, Peace .

 

Today was a fantastic day!

It felt good, I was productive, I took a nap this afternoon which helped my healing both mental and physical a lot, I feel positive and I feel like I'm growing.

I am following good habits such as brushing my teeth both times, Making my bed in the morning, Washing my underwear as soon as i take a bath that too with antiseptic liquid.

I try to maintain good water and healthy food intake throughout my day.

I feel healthy now.

Taking One day at a time, don't give a shit about how many days of streak or how much progress I've made,
I will only focus on present day and concentrate my energy on achieving good on that day only.

Joke Itch is about to heal now, Planning to start jogging from Monday.

 

Had a good day,

Even though it was not very productive, It was still good, I didn't do anything unhealthy. It was a nice relaxing and Chill weekend.
Plan is to go Jogging tomorrow morning, Basically This week will be my workout week, I will try to Complete my workout plan every morning, Maintain a good healthy and balanced diet and Cut on outside food and caffeine.

Very excited.

 

Okay my mental awareness was disturbed today for some reason,

I had a good healthy workout this morning, Everything is stable, good food good water, I had a packet of Chips today though, Wanted a soft drink as well but i told myself, You know you got the chips - now shut the fuck up and eat it before i change my mind.

My day was not productive otherwise but I had to make a very tough decision today,

I ended a very Toxic Relationship in my life today. Stings now and feels sad that it could go so much further but I was the only one putting energy in there, And I had to move on sometime.

A healthy future awaits.

 

I am looking for a career change, Today was mostly about that, I did my workouts right Not a good intake of food and water though Mom unexpectedly stopped functioning for some reason, This is what happens all the time actually She'll be actively cooking for some days and the suddenly she'll be procrastinating online in her stupid phone.

It was a good day.

Jock itch is almost gone now.
I am bailing on meditation, will try to start it as well.

 

So today was super awesome !

I feel healthy hygienic and happy, Although i get angrier and irritated very easy these days, probably something related to dopamine and all that scientific shit.

Changed my phone to basic today, will take some time away from smartphone, being too smart is also bad for health, Just sayin'

Didn't workout today, neither meditation, STOP BAILING ON THEM !!

take it one day at a time !! everything will be fine.

 

Skin health and overall health improved,

I am more productive than before, I tactically achieve tasks now and able to focus more,

Tried to meditate just a minute ago, Workout routine is affected by COVID Lockdown,

Major focus is on self health and Study for an exam i have to give.

Tomorrow I will try complete 50% of my theoretical Course so that i can quickly move on to Boot camp and study from there as well.

Even though i focus on one day at a time and don't really celebrate my progress, It's hard to avoid looking at the counter, I have started using Basic phone and will do so for 4 more days. It gets overwhelming using socialmedia and smartphone, And using a basic phone dims that down a little bit.

I still have a lot to achieve and a lot to fix in myself, but till now I like who i have become.

Will definitely stay aware and keep improving myself.

 

Sleep today was good, It felt nice and rejuvenating.

I completed my study as much as i had hoped. Also today was productive i would say.

But my conscience lost this evening when I bought myself some chips and had a cup of tea. I was OFF both of those things yet i somehow managed to pull myself into, And I'm afraid these are all stepping stones to pull me back to that miserable life i just came out of.

In suits, Harvey says - "You know this is what addicts do, the second they start making progress they screw up, they would fall from the 3rd floor then the penthouse" - And i think, this situation, the floor I am on now is the 3rd floor,