Getting a girlfriend

I think the biggest thing is to focus on self-improvement.

Number one, make sure to have nothing more to do with PMO. Self-confidence is incredibly attractive to women. Porn kills it however, which is why we must break the cycle of PMO if we're to be successful with women.

Next, it's good to focus on appearance. Are you working out regularly? Are you following a solid workout plan which allows you to progressively add weight and reps? Is your diet reasonably clean? Do you keep processed foods to a minimum? If you're lacking in any of those areas, it would be good to make the appropriate changes.

In addition to exercise, make sure you dress well and are neatly groomed. I know some guys like the scruffy look, but I'd recommend maintaining a clean-shaven appearance. If you decide to grow a beard, keep it neatly trimmed. You don't have to buy expensive clothes, but make sure that the clothes you do wear are as sharp as possible.

Make sure to be as socially engaged as possible. Women are attracted to guys who seem fun. It will be difficult to give off a fun vibe if you're always by yourself. Also, the more involved you are in various groups, the easier it will be to meet women. It'll also be much easier to strike up conversations than if you were to try cold approaches on random women.

More generally, learn as many different skills as possible. The more skills you acquire, the more confident and capable you will feel, which in turn will make you more attractive to women.

 

Maybe concentrate on your goal of achieving nofap as a priority first. Changw your lifestryle. Once you are in a better place mentally and physically, i am sure the universe will bring many beautiful women in your life. Ive always found looking for relationships has always ended in failure. Let them come to you. Good luck

 

There are tons of good videos on YouTube about how to present well in front of women and exude confidence generally. What this community is for (IMHO) is to get one thing straight first: PMO is largely the cause of your low self-esteem and sheepishness towards women, and the biggest step you can take is to rid yourself completely of all PMO for at least 90 days. As you abstain from that, you'll notice natural changes in your brain chemistry that will make the whole pick-up artist thing more doable. It will take about a week, maybe less, for the feelings to manifest.

In short, start with excluding PMO and go from there.

 

Remember a journey of a 1000 miles, starts with one step. I believe it is all our birth right to be happy and full filled in all aspects of our lives and this includes relationships! As human beings we enjoy the company of others naturally and something like porn isnt a reality! It distorts our thinking and it destroys our self esteem.

 

I 100% agree with @Chris Darga and anyone else who has recommended first putting PMO behind you and focusing on self-improvement. Abstaining from PMO will have a hugely positive effect on your self-confidence, and developing yourself physically, mentally and spiritually will make you feel much better about yourself, which will both make you more attractive to women and better prepared to enter into a fulfilling relationship.

So if I were in your situation, I'd take the next ninety days to focus entirely on myself. I'd do whatever it took to abstain from PMO, make myself physically stronger, improve the clarity of my mind, and attempt to become more spiritually in tune (whatever that means to you). I'd also join as many different social groups as possible, as this will allow you to meet a variety of people and improve your social skills.

Once the ninety day period has passed, you should be in a much better place in all areas and fully prepared to enter into a relationship (hopefully with a cute English woman

 

Just one point - soulmates are rarely, if ever, "chosen". They just happen. True love's like that.

Good luck!

 

Yeah, you've definitely got to cut that out. The odds you're going to be able to look up a girl's pics on Facebook, masturbate to them, and then talk to her without coming across a creep are very low. You've got to do your very best to approach women in a non-sexual manner. It's understandable that you want to have sex with a woman, but keep that in the very back of your mind. Just focus on talking to her in a nice, friendly way. That's going to be 1,000 times easier if you're not looking her pictures up online and masturbating to them, so again, make sure not to do that.

Regarding sex with a woman you care about: Yeah, there's nothing quite like it. Make sure you actually do care about her though. I've had a few one-night stands, and each time I've had the exact same post-ejaculation sense of regret I do when watching porn. But now that I'm married, I can tell you there are few feelings quite as satisfying as great sex and then holding her afterwards, knowing you're with a woman who loves you deeply and will be there with you the following morning, and for the thousands and thousands of mornings to follow.

But to get there, you've got to stop the cycle of PMO, and you've got to start approaching women in a more pure manner. Generally speaking, women are highly emotionally intelligent, and they're going to discern your motives pretty easily. So if you're talking to a woman largely because you want to have sex with her, she's going to pick up on that. The solution is to make friends with her first and keep it strictly at that level for at least a month or two.

 

"If you look hungry, you'll starve"

 

I don't get it? You meet a girl, talk to her face to face and than... need fb to check if she's attractive? Isn't that obvious when she stands right in front of you?

 

Sorry, I thought we are talking seriously here...