Getting distracted by relationships

only spirituality can set us free from our sins and all other distractions. i didn't believe it , but now it's happening. but the road to spirituality isn't peaceful as people say. it's a painful adventure.

 

@Namekian23 I don't think I have a solution for you. But I might recommend a little, tiny thing that makes it easier for me. Gratefulness meditation. Just thinking about all the things you are grateful for. I'm sure you have something. Like maybe you have internet, lot's of people don't. You have shelter, probably TV, brother who loves you and rest of the family. A best friend, that's something everybody does not have, I don't. There are many things you could find to be grateful about, if you would want to find them. I do this. Well, not so much anymore. I have to take my advice and do it more often. But I used to do this every morning right after I wake up. Just lie there for 5 to 15 minutes and imagine in my head all the things that I am grateful of having in my life. And not just think about them, but visualize them vividly. And feel the actual emotion of gratefulness. Like a deep warm feeling in you chest.

Didn't fix my life. And probably not gonna fix yours either. But what it did for me was it put it in perspective. And made me realize that it's not as bad as I think it is. That I have a lot of things to be happy about. Helps with stress. And also do mindfulness meditation, if you are not yet. Helps with stress too a lot.

 

Don't get too fixated on a relationship. The more you yearn for it, the more it eludes you.

Just have fun. I know it's easier said than done, but you really have to stop caring. The more you think about this, the more you're going to stress yourself out. Don't do that. What you need to do is find a project and work on that.

I'm 75 days in. Here was my experience....

I, too, was yearning for a relationship during the beginning phase of Nofap. Why? It's because that shit was EVERYWHERE I looked. So many good looking couples around me, making out and having fun. Anyway, during the beginning phase (like 2-4 weeks in), I was depressed because of that. As I began to pass day 60 and so on, I began to care less and less about relationships. I started to shift my focus on more important things, like how am I going to be successful in life? And then, that's when the real self-improvement path started to kick in.

Beginning phase of Nofap:
185 lbs @ 5'9". High-pitched voice. Dressed really bummy. Didn't have confidence in myself. Cared too much for irrelevant opinions. Was trying to please everyone.

Now:
170 lbs @ 5'9 1/2". Lower-pitched voice. Better dressed (but I still look good in Bummy clothes). Have confidence and realistic expectations. Don't give two shits about other people's opinions. Out to benefit me and those who are on my squad (Stay loyal to La Familia).

I don't get bothered by who's banging who. Honestly, look at this logically. How often do you hear of people getting together and breaking up? They spent all that time trying to convince each other that they were the "one". There is no the "one". There are many, so don't trip. Focus on getting yourself in order first...there are plenty of girls out there. Forget having a girlfriend at this point, just focus on getting to day 60 and beyond. Trust, everything does get better eventually. My mindset is UNBREAKABLE.

 

Nice to see that realization you've had @Namekian23.

I do hope one day you find a fulfilling relationship. You seem to have the right attitude now to attract it into your life. Patience and progress.

 

My idea to have a girl friend is just be my own , no matter who owns a gf or who is getting married is not my business. There is a lot of challegne ahead me to achieve in life than a gf. GF will come following a natural way and if it won't I wouldn't mind. I am happy at being single still.

 

its been said countless times, if you don't love yourself no one will love you. People must see that you're the person who loves himselfand is worthy of love. When I was in relationship I actually cared about relationships in general. my own, other peoples, but now that I'm not I don't give a damn. It's finally my time to shine and improve my life. You'll notice when you;re in relationship how many compromises youll have to do, just for the sake of relationship. So whats the point of being in the relatiohsip if you;re not allowed to do what you want. I mean it's not like I was forced to do it, but i had to chose it in order to not be an complete asshole all the time (half of the time is enough ). I was agreeing to going on holiday to different countries, even when I was saving money for my business, I had to make this sacrifice, and now I have to work longer to save the amount i need. And for what. First relationship might seem like magic, but it just seems this way, its just a relatioship.

 

I don't have any advice for you brother, but I wanted to say I appreciate this thread. I feel like I have this issue, and it was great to read through this thread.

 

I really didn't mean 'possessive' by using the word 'owning'. I should have used 'have'. English is not my first language. Sorry.

I am closer to 26 and never had a girl friend so far. A girl tried her most to be my girl friend but that time I was worried about how I am going to deal it so she tried elsewhere and married.