Getting fitter and smarter

Am a student and am kinda skinny fat right. Wanna cleanse my mind of all the false and distorted ways of thinking P has instilled in me over the years. Obviously willpower alone wont get me anywhere hence I am gonna do up a self improvement journal here. This is gonna be my first entry. Will update as much as I can (definitely at least thrice a week). My goal is to be more muscular (bigger arms and physique...more strength in general) and have a better GPA (closer the to the golden 4...hovering at 3-3.5 ish).

For the next 3 days or so; am gonna start progressively working out every morning without fail. Gotta make it a morning routine just like how brushing my teeth is...heres to that

Since its been a while, my first few sessions will just be chill jogs around the block and some push-ups...

 

@Cherubim thank you!

Aight there was a slip up today....and honestly it was physically bad experience.

Found myself edging far more than what i should when I was waking up today. No P involved just used my head....And then ofcourse it hit that point where its hard to turn back from...and the rest we all know

Honestly, it didn't feel great physically....it felt like something important was being pulled outta me....there was this uneasy surging effect...maybe that's what happens after being out of it for roughly 10 days or so.

Anyways, moving forward, I do not expect myself to go by without any slip-ups honestly. Like I said in my definition intro post; for me a successful reboot is for the effects of P to wean off...that means I wont think along the lines of P when I interact with others or when I am alone.

Since I have been only staving of P for only some time now, I naturally will have slip ups like these (P after has been my go to destressor up to now for over a decade....). Ofcourse over time, I will be hitting longer and longer streaks as I actively focus on changing up my lifestyle where P will have less and less of a role.

Eventually I believe it will come to a point where I will be free of Ps effects. (Aka no more P thoughts or tendencies that pop up. No more need/usage of P for destressing). And when it does, I will deem it a successful reboot.

I think specific to this slip up,3 things
1) Wake up when the alarm goes of and dont snooze. Place multiple alarms....far away from bed. Take the chance of turning of the alarms to start the day.And don't go back to sleep till its night.

2) Sleep when it's time to sleep. Don't procastinate sleeping. Or anything for the matter

3) 1hr before bed....Dont stress about things.Dont study. Dont text. Dont check emails. Dont do your finances. Don't beat yourself over stuff which is over or outta of your control.

Instead take time to really unwind from the day and destress without any P at all (chill music,journal /NF, meditate, night walk etc) or engage self/environmental care(shave, fashion choices, pack up for school, clean up room) etc.

I was pretty stressed out last night over many things....alot of which I simply had no control over at all. I didnt properly address this and just went to bed...so the lingering feeling of overhwhelming stress may have lead to the slip-up.

Gonna make these 3 things part of my daytime/night time routine..as for now am gonna hit the running shoes. Time for my run.

Will drop by tmr and give an update of how the day went...hoping to make some productive gains today

 

The update to this was due tmr but tot might as well
....

Today went gr8...managed to exercise and get some of that work done. There were sometimes i procastinated a bit which i should prolly avoid..but overall it was better than yesterday

 

Alright
Today I decided not to work out...it was a pretty hectic day...rather productive honestly but i feel that my to do list tasks and the tasks that i am actually doing are not in sync. Dont get me wrong these tasks that i am doing are also importanr parts of work but mkre often than not i miss them out. Ans sometimes by to do list is kinda vague so it makes it hard to cancel out. And nth is more frustrating than a to do list with tasks that are neither complete nor attended to; Half way ticks are just bad....


So i have made a more focused to do list for the coming day...gonna see how that works...

Also since tmr is an off day...will def start by working out
Off to bed ; ciao

 

I have relapsed....I watched P...ended up on a binge this last half a day or so...so as per my definition I have definitely relapsed.

Having my VPN around was the biggest temptor. Getting rid of that asap.

Productivity wise its okay....could be better tho right now my to do still seems to be in control of me.... (wanna get it the other way round)

 

The relapse phase continues....work wise I have been doing okay. No major strides or anything but I am still in an acceptable place

I feel that I am always chasing deadlines when it could be avoided if
A) if I stopped choosing to neglect the important things
B) if I stopped trying to be a perfectionist/egoist with my work

This week I am not gonna focus reining control over my time (right now deadlines seem to be in control of it).

 

5 days since....and honestly i am back to square 1. Its like i always plan way too much and when it comes to actually doing stuff...i get cold feet and I dont....i keep procastinating tasks....and things keep snowballing

Gonna do away with procastination....if i gotta....i gotta start. Gonna put PMO quiting on hold for now anf focus on crushing my to do list tmr