Getting it out of my system

I would say no. I'm a 20 year old kissless virgin, so not in your exact position, but in the same general boat as you. I don't believe that sex is all that. I'm certainly looking forward to it, and if masturbation is a shadow of sex, sex must feel pretty good. All that considered though, there's nothing unmanly about not having had sex. It's a whole lot more manly to have self control. Hookups and escorts can also be more addicting, and more expensive and dangerous, than PMO. I've read posts from people on here talking about how they regret losing their virginity for the sake of losing it and would go back and stop themselves if they could.

 

Never, never visit an escort. Visit an escort is worse than any kind of porn, you are actually engaging in the porn. Do you want a society when your aunt, your sister, your cousin is a whore? Then don't consume their services.

Note: my coworker used to tell me his stories of his visits to escorts. He was one of the most disgusting guys I ever met. To be blunt, I liked him but he didn't realize how much harm he did to those women. And he used to tell me one thing that always bothered him, and is the reason I, Frühlingstimme will never visit an escort:

Escorts don't look you in the eye.

Also, no kissing. Is that the way you want to lose your virginity?

 

basically, you're making love to a person who hates you. Forgot to add this.

 

No! Definitely do not do that. Here's why. You will only make it worse. Since you've never had sex, you don't understand that once you have it, you won't be "getting it out of your system" as you think.

You know the aftertaste you have in your mouth after eating grapes or chips or chocolate or candy? No matter how you try, you can't eat just one? That's sex. You won't be getting it out of your system, no, on the contrary, you will be putting something into your system! Even if your first experience was not great, the senses you excite will cause you to want it again. The same way you felt after having an orgasm after you masturbated the first time.
I would take the advice of @Icyweb and wait and take the advice of @Frühlingstimme and definitely avoid escorts. Sex is powerful and special to be wasted just get something out of your system.

 

I didn't see an escort. But I did have sex with my cousins friend and it was basically the same thing for free. That's how I lost my virginity. She basically just started playing with Mr. Tinky Winky and it was all downhill from there.

I regret it a ton. I wish I were still a virgin because then I could save it for my wife. Plus I was scared about diseases which I'm very thankful that I did not get any

Save your virginity. You can never get it back once you lose it.

 

To add on, it didn't help get it out of my system. I was still stupidly horny all. The. Time. And still jerked off multiple times a day. The only thing that helped is learning I'm an addict and taking control of my life.

 

Personally, I'd say for your wife. But that choice is yours.

 

This is the problem. Comparing yourself to others will always make you unhappy. Forget what other people say they're doing. It doesn't take an advanced degree in physics to stick your penis into a woman. It's not the be-all and end-all of existence. The people you hear about who are doing it or who have done it are not "special" or to be admired or envied simply because they've engaged in such a simple task.
In short, it's not something worth dwelling on. We spend far too much time in Western society obsessing over sex. It's time we got over the obsession and starting using our brains to think, rather than our gonads.

 

Well getting there takes a bit of work, but once you're there it's not a difficult task in which to engage.
Again though, my point is that worrying about even getting there is a waste of time and energy.

As for the NoFap success, take it in small increments. I can't seem to get past 10 days yet, but I'm only PMO-ing about twice a week now as opposed to sometimes 2-3 times in a day previously. Other people who seem to have better success aren't living my life and dealing with things I deal with, so it's not a good comparison. Same goes for you.

 

Syrus I get what you're saying. I'm a twenty two year old kissless virgin. I know that's four years difference between us but I also feel utterly hopeless, impatient and just want to get it out of the way. Reading ever one's comments about regret from losing their virginity to escorts and callous people honestly just makes me think "well atleast you lost" which I know is a illogical idea in my head but still guys managed to finally release yourself with someone. I think experience is the best teacher so I'll not really understand what they're saying until I experience it, that's the feeling I have. I know what everyone is saying is correct based on their own experiences, knowledge and will probably be the same if you do use an escort but regardless you just want to get it out of your system and I understand cause I'm in the same boat. Trying to convince you is like I'm trying to convince myself that an escort is an utterly bad idea and it is but still...

 

I have to agree with @D . J . Having sex is going to add to your system and not take it out. Think of it as another outlet of energy. But it is another addictive one. And if you do it now with all the porn that has been fed to the brain, do you think you'd see it for what it really is? It's one of the deepest forms of connection and if you open that gateway while still blinded by the facade of porn then you wouldn't learn much besides the fact that's it's another pleasure activity.

I mean at the end it's your choice, and who knows maybe you do it and find out that porn doesn't interest you that much anymore. But I went down that road and said the same thing but I wanna try it, i want my mind and this tension to simmer down , and what happened was I started to use girls for my pleasure. Girls through the years would want relationships and I would simply choose pleasure each and everytime. I hope you get to read this and I put an end to this cycle by asking you what I should have asked myself:

Pleasure or connection? A few seconds of a high or continuous harmony between two beings?


Stay clean. Wishing you the very best

 

Remember, you cannot un-make a bad choice. Once made, it's made.

 

Focus on how your life can be after you have controlled PMO. Use those urges to propel you farther so that you an truly enjoy your life ahead of you. No one said this path would be easy. Once we choose the shortcut to a healthy life by choosing PMO, we all, in some way have to suffer the consequences of our choices.

Fortunately for you, you are surrounded by many people, from many different parts of the world, mind you, who care enough about you to attempt to steer you in the right direction. There are many guys, many you may know, who do not have a host of brothers from around the world, that care about a brother, that we have never seen or met, that care the way we do. Remember that. What we tell you may not be pleasant to hear but many of us have done it the wrong way and we want you to not make our mistakes.