Getting married in a few months time.

Today is my day 3 here, feeling very positive and this time I believe I can achieve everything and nothing can stop me. My goal is to be a good man, loving and more focused. There's a girl I met few years a go, my sister my best friend and who is now my fiancé. We both Christians and believe in no sex before marriage and also focused on keeping our thoughts clean. I'm happy with almost most of the things in my life right now, BUT there's always that one area that is still Weakness. I started musturbation at an early teenager years, lost my my dad when I was young, in fact I don't know him, my mom was left us, find him at at age 12/13 again, I met her in town. Growing up was tough at age 6/7i was already being physically abused, beaten, denied food, sleeping outside in the cold winters, there were times the dog had kept warm at night, there's were times I'd go weeks without food cause they wouldn't want to give me food. I never liked school, and I have lived with many different families, who were not even related to me, I worked hard to get food and shelter. That was when I discovered musturbation. It my escape, and that how I coped. Years when by I flu d a better family, though there were issues I still experienced problems there and there regarding how I was treated. But it way better. My mom died at ag 15 bit it felt like she died already 10 years back but that is okay it is not the issue here. 2015 I became a Christian, best decision I ever made. My life changed forever, theres been ups and down but I'm still hanging in there, 2017 - 2018 finished my university with two qualifications, now I'm working overseas. But I have this issues. This doesn't happen every time but I have noticed that every time I'm stressed out my first response is musturbation, I have tried to quit that over the years, it's a fight I'm still fighting. I started this again since I have found this community and I'm encourage to be sorrounded by people fighting the same fight with me, and in a platform where I can express myself. No one knows this problem I have accept me all these years, I have prayed, relapse made another decision, I had always looked at every newday as a new page, after meeting everyone here fighting the same fight I haslve seen that anything is possible as long as we set our mind and focus and actually talk about what we go through. All you need is someone to listen.

I'm 27 and getting married to this beautiful amazing woman next year, and I'm fighting this, trying to get read of this habit, I'm fitness enthusiast and have taken a 60/day fitness challenge, to incorporate it with this fight I'm fighting. I have forgotten about the past and all I'm focusing on now is this moment the present and the changes that I'm trying to make
. Thank you for reading till the end. Thank you for listening.
I just wanna be a great person I can be.

 

Thank you so much for your response, very helpful points you mentioned, and thanks for the welcome.