Getting picked on for NoFap. Why? Fixes?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by derivative, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    I was really saddened to read your post, OP. It shows how cynical our world has become. Here you are, a person who's working hard to better himself, and he keeps getting put down by all who surround him, rather than getting well-deserved support.
    The only thing I can suggest is to do your best not to bring yourself into a situation that'll cause you to leave the room in the middle, in the first place. If you know your family is going to watch an inappropriate movie, find some excuse, or else convince them to do something else. Find other stuff to do with friends. Maybe find different friends? I don't know, it's really up to you.
     
  2. 19conquer

    19conquer Fapstronaut

    I like this. We shouldn't try to change people. We should only treat them fairly.
     
  3. I've just read it and it wasn't as bad as he made it out to be :emoji_grimacing:
     
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  4. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    My extreme avoidance of any stimulation whatsoever will end once I feel that I have mentally healed.
     
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  5. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    In your long list of things that start with "they should...", the only one that I am concerned with at this point in time is "Doing the right thing should be more popular." I don't think that I deserve anything or explicitly judge others as your list hypothetically suggests. I just am genuinely concerned about our society.

    I have had another perso. Tell me in the past that certain thoughts of mine, although intended to be filled with good intention and concern for others, often end up sounding judgmental which is frustrating because one ends up achieving the opposite of what one wanted: making somebody else feel bad when you were trying to help them feel better
     
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  6. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    Implicit judgment. The pieces of the puzzle are starting to come together now.
     
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  7. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    I would feel bad if my efforts too improve myself were making others feel bad about themselves. Hence why I tend to keep my NoFap participation pretty low-key unless a situation comes up like I described
     
  8. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    It's definitely a good thing to consider all possibilities here so good job
     
  9. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    It's really interesting to see the different opinons here
     
  10. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    @Rio
    Based on my past NoFap experience, i personally would have appreciated a warning before reading something with a graphic description.
     
  11. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    I LOVE your tribal explanation - how fascinating!
    Yeah I very rarely discuss NoFap with others unless they ask me first.
    Rice Purity Test would make an interesting forum
     
  12. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    What is the spoiler button @Brokenman123 @Rio
     
  13. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    That's exactly what OP is asking for. He isnt trying to change anybody, hes only asking that others show him that same respect.
     
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  14. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Yup. Okay. He's the good guy and everyone else in his story is bad.

    So did the OP confront these people about it or did the OP just continue to build up silent resentment towards them?
     
  15. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    He was embarrassed. Give him a freaking break. I wouldnt stand up and confront someone picking on me and making fun of me either, its humiliating. The point is, they shouldnt be picking on him in the first place.
     
  16. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Yes and these people need to know that he thinks it's not okay for them to do that to him.

    What I'm getting at is not everyone that teases others do it purely out of ill intention. Older people like grand parents sometimes tease their grand kids not out of evil intent, but just as something they do because they think it's harmless.

    If the OP truly believes that his friends and family do this in order to hurt him out of hatred, then why continue to be around them?
     
    derivative likes this.
  17. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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    Are you on easy mode or hardmode?
     
  18. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    I've been schooled pretty hard on not assuming intention. The story had to do with the time I almost asked a girl out, but that's a story for another time. Never assume intentions as you never really know somebody else's true intentions. However, generally speaking, more people than not DON'T want to hurt other people's feelings. Also, nobody is entirely evil or pristinely good. We all fall on a varying spectrum.
     
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  19. derivative

    derivative Fapstronaut

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    Well, I, the OP, have not confronted anybody, but that is because scenarious usally de-escalate pretty quickly so dragging the scenario out would make stuff worse.
    I don't want anybody to think that I think I'm the good guy and whatnot. Because I don't think that there is necessarily a good and bad group here. I'm just being me, an observant human being who is fascinated by social behavior and was wondering if anybody else had gone through this and more importantly if anybody had a solution. If I were not looking for a solution, I would just be bitching. But I am a civilized human looking for a solution, which means I am trying to problem-solve, not trying to bitch about my problems. I'm hoping that this discussion will also help other people who may be going through something similar. Please remember the positive intention as we discuss in this thread
     
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  20. risk_taker

    risk_taker Fapstronaut

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    I can understand what you're feeling, I think it takes guts to go outside the status quo. These scenarios are pretty common. When I turned vegan I get bashed on but I'm now observing what I had done in the past, eat meat. I went on with it and kept at it. Now people are just letting me be. Sometimes, they still badger me. I think keeping at it, through mentality helped be get through those times. Trying to explain sometimes might have helped but other times the culture that has been ingrained in people's heads is so stuck that they have no space for other options. Good luck to you in your journey.
     

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