Getting rid of toxicity

I've identified some "nice guy" habits that are a bad part of my personality and have attempted to extract them. I'm not sure there are any good practices though. What comes to mind is self reflection and mindfulness. Be aware of the thing as they happen and change them in that moment. For me its acknowledging tension and resisting the urge to smooth it out. Letting my wife be mad and not trying to fix her problems. She likes it better and it's getting easier.

 

Go out to the people.
Most of them is result of our social isolation, internet addiction etc.

More time you'll spend with other people, less demons will you find amongst them.

 

@Bad_hombre, I did read No More Mr. Nice Guy. It was really good and eye opening.

 

In that episode there were also negative affects associated with getting rid of toxicity. Morty's insecurities keep him levelled and humble. Rick's craziness makes him passionate and gives him a reason to care about the world and his loved ones.

 

I honestly believe that diet plays an important part as well. When I switched to a vegan diet, not only my health improved dramatically, but also my consciousness, i just look at things differently than before nowadays.
So diet is very important in my opinion, but of course it is not everything. Mindset, behaviour, thoughts etc are very important as well. I have made a commitment, that I want to do Good, in Action, Word, and Thought.
What you could do, is make a print of certain moral codes, and put them on the door or the wall, like the Bushido codes, Buddhist codes, or just any moral codes / virtues you feel inspired by.
For example:
- I will do my best to do what is righteouss
- I will have compassion and kindness for myself, for other humans, and for other sentient beings
- I stick to my words, when I say something, I will do it
- I am grateful for the life, the Universe gave me
- I will have the courage to stick to what I know in my heart is right

Nowadays I start the day with eating lots of fruits. Later meals of the day consists of mostly veggies, rice, vegan alternatives to flesh (vegan burgers, chickpeas, nuts, seeds etc.)
And I start the day with some inspiration on Nofap, from this forum, and from youtube. Also inspiration and wisdom about life in general, to start the day on a good vibe.
This is sooo different than how I was a few years ago. I ate tons of fastfood, I fapped daily, smoked like crazy etc. it's like day and night difference. I am not there yet, no GF, not many friends etc, but it's already a huugge different than before. Health has improved, connections with family, and collegues, people I come across has improved immensly, career more opportunities, house is clean, more mental space, I have things way more ordered and sorted out (e-mails, administration, all kinds of to-do things).
All the best, and have a wonderful day

 

In the city you have much more possibilities to do such things. It's not like that you're going out to complete task called "Meet-up-with-somebody".
Obviously you have hobby not related with facebook, youtube, instagram or other internet time-consumers. You just need to sit in the front of the screen (or go to the public places like culture huoses, libraries etc.) and look after people with common interests.

For exampe: I was part of ASG society (military theme activity- we're shooting each other with plastic bullets in forests or abandoned buildings) and when I've ended high school I was forced to end-up with that due to work conditions. Year ago I've decided to came back to this environment and start to play ASG again. I've entered internet forum of our, local group and ask them about current state of affairs, basic equipment (now I'm playing this sport in much more mature way than previously, in 2011) and nearest game date.
I came to meeting spot, shoot with each other and... now I'm equal part of this community. And year or two back I playedomputer games whole Sunday.

About month ago I was planning to start playing tabletop Warhammer 40k. I've joined Polish community on facebook and started looking for informations. I suspended because it's too expensive and time consuming hobby and I want to invest my money and time in airsoft more than that.

Try to find people with similar interests and everything will be OK. I'm not so talkative in my, airsoft group and noone is upset because of that. Act like normal person, don't quote 4chan memes or racist jokes- you'll be right!

 

Cool can not expect to do it perfectly all the time of course..
For inspiration i have found a lot of it on youtube
I also just started experimenting a lot with different foods (and different proportions than normal etc). Had to get creative, and i just started trying new foods everyday i hadnt tried before..

I also have been alone so much during recent years.

I do believe its very beneficial to get as much in touch with inner life.
I will go out more socially, i feel like these skills have improved in my case, but still my social life is very low..

But yeah, just trying to do what is healthy, righteouss, working on life goals, setting myself accessable for social situations and contacts improving, and hopefully can progress in all areas of life.
Have a good day

 

What's your hobbies? Tell me- I just want to know why you think they doesn't suit socializing with each other.
You're use to be alone since early-remembered childhood or from time you get internet connection?

Since I've got PC I started to isolate more and more. It was barely visible because in age of 17-18 I was talkative and friendly teenager. The real problem had started when I've chosen PC/internet buddies instead real-ones, from my neighbourhood. It's partially fault of the age: After 18 (formally adult) I didn't want to drink beer, vodka or other moonshines with guys I used to spend my time earlier. I wasn't so smart to look after people who spend their time in more healthy way so I've landed in the front of PC and increase porn and masturbation sessions due to overall loneliness and social anxiety.

 

I really enjoyed that episode and what really stuck out to me was how non toxic Morty just stayed positive the entire time and he didn't really pay naysayers any attention! He seemed gleeful to be doing something new and progressing all the way to the top of something. Anyways what I am trying to say is that positive people I see in real life do almost exactly what non toxic Morty did in that episode, ignore the pessimistic people and maintain his grasp of positive qualities.

 

Sorry- I should sort it properly. I suffered computer addiction results mostly in age of... 18-20 (I'm 27 now). Damn. I'm still addicted (and will be until I die) but now there is much more control in that. I'm spending much less time in the front of the screens. I know there is thin border between control and not-control something.

Those ASG stories are current state of affairs. Now I have better view on possibilities in my life. Instead watching youtube or other meme-crap I'm checking my loadouts, trying to optimize mag pouches layout on my chest rig etc. I'm occupied by more satisfying forms of spending time.
I think, my life is on good state right now - except these PMO problems of course. But everything in right time.

 

Hi everybody again. This is the second message i leave. Is good to know there's other people fighting against the tendency to wath P and M. I would like to feel your encouragement so that i can keep my resolution to get over PM. Thanks for this web site.