getting serious

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Embrace, Oct 14, 2019.

  1. Embrace

    Embrace Fapstronaut

    I just realised that a big part of my problem is that I am not serious enough. really. As in in general. As in I think I feel that I am evading to face things head on.

    Kind of hoping it will just go away in some weird way. And not porn. The thing that makes me go to porn. It is an act. For me this so called addiction is an act. Just an act so I do not see the reality I do not want to see. That is what is so addictive to me. The fantasy. Instant, stupid fantasies. Weird fucked up fantasies. Not so much the sexual impulse. I wish it were so easy for me.

    Not facing the true reality. That is what porn is really doing. And if am not willing to see that reality, with all the will I can muster, than no therapy, not medication, no nothing will ever truly help me. Oh sure it could create another false surrogate, another mind numbing defense mechanism, but that cannot really work. Eating rocks shaped as potatoes is not eating potatoes.

    So I may have help, I may get help, it might truly be enough for me, but only if my will, no matter how feeble it is, is directed into facing, feeling, acting in reality.
    ReachForTheSkies likes this.
  2. I get you. I went (or still going through, can't tell to be honest) through similar thing. It is really hard to put it beside you. Really hard to see it for what it is. But I accepted that that is a path to nowhere. Sure, there is a feeling of leaving something behind. But by leaving it you might open new paths for yourself and instead of that thing you might get something truly worth living for.
  3. coldhearted

    coldhearted Fapstronaut

    I often think about this. When I put in my mind the thought :"This is the last time I will PMO" and then fail miserably, I feel super angry and disappointed in myself. I don't know if there is real escape from porn addiction but I know that I can only go forward, not backwards in time so I must preserve the time in sobriety and be more greatful for the little things in life. If I got into porn, then I must escape from it one way or another. Get serious and get it done my friend, before it's too late.
  4. We often think in terms of what we heard, and believe to be the correct thing to do or think.
    This is very apparent when research is conducted to see how humans behave.
    When people are asked what they would do in situation where someone collapsed on the street, they replied what they believe the best thing to do is and somehow tricked themselves in to thinking that is what they would do.
    When experimenters then had people actually fall on the street seemingly suffering from dangerous health conditions, same unknowing participants, acted drastically differently from what they said.
    They said they would go and provide aid and help the individual, but as you may guess most did not, and some left as soon as they could. Very few people knew themselves and their actions matched their responses.

    It is not that people are not serious, it is that people continuously deceive themselves, about who they are and what they can do.
    You pick the thoughts you think, same way you pick the music you listen to and people you are with to big extent. Your thoughts shape you.
    People are afraid of scary thoughts like, - "I am actually addicted" without any "but" at the end to ease the pain of this realization.

    When person is swept by the current and is pulled from the beach in to the open ocean, proper thing to do is to scream for help,
    What people often do is tell themselves stories, if I scream for help, I will look silly. I will be fine, current will get weaker, I can feel it - everything will be ok, and then they die.
    Because they lied to and deceived themselves.

    We hate when people lie to us, because this hurts us in many ways, but it hurts even more if you lie to yourself and unless you are very vigilant and discipline your thoughts - you do that all the time. And noone respects liars, even if that liar is your own self.
    And so it is not about being serious, it is about being honest, seeing the world for what it is, seeing yourself for what you are. Yes you will be allot smaller, and not as pretty as you described yourself, but it will be real you and you can then make real change.

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