Getting small or semi erections and a huge sensitivity with my new girlfriend after years of nofap

[Mr. R]

So I got my dream girl, she is like the best person in both looks and personality.
We started very slow and steady to let the passion grow and develop by building a solid
emotional connection and trust first. In the moments of our being together I felt random solid erections when I was hugging her on dancing with a very close and intimate hold with her. We almost had sex on the secret hiding place on the public space. But I thought asking her to be my gf before sex.

But now when I had dinner in her place and deciding to get intimate with her, my little dude went dead and fully limp with a naked girlfriend on my side. I said I had a performance anxiety mixed up with a little stress for not getting erection. Yet couple of days after that I went to my bed and accidentaly brushed my hand against my little dude and it went fully erect like nothing was wrong.

So it's working alright but in my own room (alone) and not with her in her place, I think I just feel discomfortable on sharing my intimacy with her (because mostly of whacking off alone in my room and not many meaningful relationships in my past) and then again for the second time, it barely went half erect when we tried it again in her place.

So I told her my story about my P addiction and I must feel uncomfy sharing my intimacy with her, she was intelligent and understanding about it, but I just want to know how other post-addict guys went back into intimate relationships with their gf-s or wives and managed to rediscover and got over the anxiety of performing and sharing their intimacy for the first time - How long did it took and did you use any means or help with vuagra's to make this process more smooth and faster?

I thank you very much for reading this and maybe providing any tips - I wish you well and pleasant holidays!

 

[EscapingPMO]

How long of a NoFap streak are you on?

you are really over 500 days streak?

 

[Mr. R]

How long of a NoFap streak are you on?

you are really over 500 days streak?

Over 500 days for sure, tho there have been some peaks and edging couple of times, but I havent orgasmed to porn and fapping anymore for more than 500 days.

 

[nomo]

I can't answer your question, but a urologist told me if "You don't use it, you can lose it." That doesn't mean you will lose it forever, but I couldn't imagine a good reason for not having sex for any sustained length of time. Sex is natural and in my opinion, denying sex in moderation doesn't do any good for anybody.

 

[Mr. R]

I can't answer your question, but a urologist told me if "You don't use it, you can lose it." That doesn't mean you will lose it forever, but I couldn't imagine a good reason for not having sex for any sustained length of time. Sex is natural and in my opinion, denying sex in moderation doesn't do any good for anybody.

Can't really say if i had sex with my hand everyday and it led me to depression, boredom and loss of motivation would have resulted the same if i had sex with my gf almost every day that would lead me to getting bored and getting too used with her that sex becomes dissatisfying and escalates to more extreme types of getting pleasure with added in Coolidge effect.

 

[nomo]

Can't really say if i had sex with my hand everyday and it led me to depression, boredom and loss of motivation would have resulted the same if i had sex with my gf almost every day that would lead me to getting bored and getting too used with her that sex becomes dissatisfying and escalates to more extreme types of getting pleasure with added in Coolidge effect.

When I was younger I liked sex every day with my girlfriend and it never got old. Some people find that spacing it out a few days keeps it interesting. I guess it's an individual thing and we are all different.

 

[Mr. R]

When I was younger I liked sex every day with my girlfriend and it never got old. Some people find that spacing it out a few days keeps it interesting. I guess it's an individual thing and we are all different.

It's quite impressive to have kept sex interesting enough that it wont become boring with one person throughout many years since we naturally crave fore novelty, its something for me to learn. Have you ever had a ED with someone?
I think I still have this fear of getting addicted to sex like in my early days - I rejected it totally when I had my first ED with a girlfriend many years ago and went on to a nofap journey to get out of the addiction but yes, stress, anxiety, mental conditions and fears of getting addicted keep me from feeling comfortable in intimacy with her. Found a medical electrical device to cure erections gonna try that for starters.

 

[nomo]

It's quite impressive to have kept sex interesting enough that it wont become boring with one person throughout many years since we naturally crave fore novelty, its something for me to learn. Have you ever had a ED with someone?
I think I still have this fear of getting addicted to sex like in my early days - I rejected it totally when I had my first ED with a girlfriend many years ago and went on to a nofap journey to get out of the addiction but yes, stress, anxiety, mental conditions and fears of getting addicted keep me from feeling comfortable in intimacy with her. Found a medical electrical device to cure erections gonna try that for starters.

When I was young and loved sex, it was never boring. Now I'm 65-years old and have been with the same woman for 25 years so sex has become boring. Once I turned 60 years old I would have the occasional bouts of ED. Mainly stressed out about work and other things that did not help my sex life. I was prescribed a low 5 mg of ED medication that has cured my ED problems. For me, ED was mainly about old-age and stress.

 

[Transbaikalian Guran]

I rejected it totally when I had my first ED with a girlfriend many years ago and went on to a nofap journey to get out of the addiction but yes, stress, anxiety, mental conditions and fears of getting addicted keep me from feeling comfortable in intimacy with her.

Man, I feel like I am actually experiencing the same thing... I recently discovered with a girl who I was having so-called "sexfreindship." Once she found out that I have ED, she friendzoned me. Before that, I didn't have sex for 5 years because of the breakup with my ex. So now I'm super dedicated to dropping all the bad habits and consuming nutrients and vitamins... Every day I'm practicing HIIT cardio training, having a contrast shower, going to the gym three times a week, walking a lot... Still, every day, I am thinking that if I meet a girl, will a fail once more after 90 days nofap?

 

[Mr. R]

Man, I feel like I am actually experiencing the same thing... I recently discovered with a girl who I was having so-called "sexfreindship." Once she found out that I have ED, she friendzoned me. Before that, I didn't have sex for 5 years because of the breakup with my ex. So now I'm super dedicated to dropping all the bad habits and consuming nutrients and vitamins... Every day I'm practicing HIIT cardio training, having a contrast shower, going to the gym three times a week, walking a lot... Still, every day, I am thinking that if I meet a girl, will a fail once more after 90 days nofap?

Well bro, once you find a girl who is a wife material to have kids with, do whatever you can to improve the ED, if you get it up when you are alone then it mostly is a pshychological issue. Like with me, she is like so great and nice and I had huge performance anxieties and worries of not being able to last long or get it up and so on.

You and your sexual self needs to adjust and feel comfortable around her. We tried different foreplays with no intention to have sex and just enjoyed eachothers company - that's just amazing in itself to build trust and intimacy.
Times went by and when I felt comfortable around her I had doctor give me a V-pill just in case.
And optionally a 1 month long remedy for taking a similar pill (Tadalafil/Tadalafilum) that helps to increase blood flow to the P.

I took the pill, we did some sweet foreplay and it got up, and that's the first time we had sex and after that it's pretty stable intimacy with her.
I am also in my 1 month remedy and now I get strong erections with her, everytime if we kiss and play, so it's pretty good and everything is going just right with us.

 

[Transbaikalian Guran]

Well bro, once you find a girl who is a wife material to have kids with, do whatever you can to improve the ED, if you get it up when you are alone then it mostly is a pshychological issue. Like with me, she is like so great and nice and I had huge performance anxieties and worries of not being able to last long or get it up and so on.

You and your sexual self needs to adjust and feel comfortable around her. We tried different foreplays with no intention to have sex and just enjoyed eachothers company - that's just amazing in itself to build trust and intimacy.
Times went by and when I felt comfortable around her I had doctor give me a V-pill just in case.
And optionally a 1 month long remedy for taking a similar pill (Tadalafil/Tadalafilum) that helps to increase blood flow to the P.

I took the pill, we did some sweet foreplay and it got up, and that's the first time we had sex and after that it's pretty stable intimacy with her.
I am also in my 1 month remedy and now I get strong erections with her, everytime if we kiss and play, so it's pretty good and everything is going just right with us.

Thank you for sharing your story and experience, that actually matters a lot to me! As you said, that is a psychological issue, no doubts about that, because I didn't have such issues before.

That girl I was talking about is having mixed feelings about me; since she is into me, I just don't match her financial needs (quote: "you are perfect at everything, an ideal man, just lack of money for now"), and she said that right after I sexually failed for the second time (she didn't say anything about that, though). So I think I can get comfortable around her; at least I feel way more confident after I learned so much about ED caused by POM.

So I am thinking, If I have another chance with her, should I tell her about my ED directly? Explain to her that, for a while, it might be difficult for me to demonstrate a satisfactory sexual performance. Or If I have a chance with her or maybe with other women (don't consider others for now, but...), don't tell her about the issue with ED and just use the medicine you mentioned (I actually already have this medicine and know how to take it). Because I do consider rewiring the real woman's body, I want my sexual drive for women back, and having actual sex is an important step. I would say even vital, because it will help me to substitute the images of porn in my head with real memories, so I would be thinking about real women but not the digital ones.

 

[Mr. R]

Thank you for sharing your story and experience, that actually matters a lot to me! As you said, that is a psychological issue, no doubts about that, because I didn't have such issues before.

That girl I was talking about is having mixed feelings about me; since she is into me, I just don't match her financial needs (quote: "you are perfect at everything, an ideal man, just lack of money for now"), and she said that right after I sexually failed for the second time (she didn't say anything about that, though). So I think I can get comfortable around her; at least I feel way more confident after I learned so much about ED caused by POM.

So I am thinking, If I have another chance with her, should I tell her about my ED directly? Explain to her that, for a while, it might be difficult for me to demonstrate a satisfactory sexual performance. Or If I have a chance with her or maybe with other women (don't consider others for now, but...), don't tell her about the issue with ED and just use the medicine you mentioned (I actually already have this medicine and know how to take it). Because I do consider rewiring the real woman's body, I want my sexual drive for women back, and having actual sex is an important step. I would say even vital, because it will help me to substitute the images of porn in my head with real memories, so I would be thinking about real women but not the digital ones.

When I tried out with my girl for the first time, I honestly told her that: I have performance anxiety and little confused with my intimate self, because I used to watch porn a lot in the past and my inability to get erect has nothing to do with you being in someway unsuitable for me. And she was very supportive and understanding - if she doesnt know the truth, she may think and come up with reasonings and solutions, that may be wrong in the first place and very damaging for future intimacy and relationship.

I would try and determine how important money is for her and does she expects you to pay for her lifestyle, or does she wants to be a mother and a wife to someone in a stable relationship.

 

[Transbaikalian Guran]

When I tried out with my girl for the first time, I honestly told her that: I have performance anxiety and little confused with my intimate self, because I used to watch porn a lot in the past and my inability to get erect has nothing to do with you being in someway unsuitable for me. And she was very supportive and understanding - if she doesnt know the truth, she may think and come up with reasonings and solutions, that may be wrong in the first place and very damaging for future intimacy and relationship.

I would try and determine how important money is for her and does she expects you to pay for her lifestyle, or does she wants to be a mother and a wife to someone in a stable relationship.

Well, that is the thing; she probably knows that, but not the details. I told her that I hadn't had a girl for a long time, but she didn't believe me at first until she saw my soft part. However, she has a high sexual constitution, so that is a struggle for her. Money is so important for her; we probably don't have a future together, but since we are limited in choices (we both are countrymates living in another country) and we are both changing a little bit, let's see how it goes.

Thank you for your wisdom, I wish u only the best!